Remembering Lily
by petals-to-fish
Summary: Lis is found in a French pub by two English men that seek redemption from Albus Dumbledore. They believe returning Lis to him under false pretenses that Lis is Albus' missing friend Lily Evans will grant them the help that they seek but Lis is Lily with amnesia and dark wizards want the witch dead...along with one of her very familiar new companions named James Potter. FINISHED.
1. The Castle

**Chapter 1:**

 **we make these memories for ourself**

 **where our eyes are always open**

 **our hearts are never broken**

 **and time's forever frozen still**

Lily's red hair whipped against her face as she spun from her previously stationary spot to shield herself from a collapsing wall behind her. The blast that broke the wall knocked her back and she coughed so hard her lungs ached. There were screams coming from upstairs and dark menacing laughter came from her right where the wall had been blasted to bits. Someone was likely being tortured and Lily tried her hardest to see through the smoke stinging her green eyes. Lily coughed into her sleeve and pointed her wand into the thick smoke of debris.

Order of the Phoenix Intelligence had mentioned that the orphanage they were in was a prime target because of it's high number of muggle borns being protected within it's walls by a kind old wizard who harbored a soft spot for muggles. Lily had found the old man dead in his office when she'd come to inspect under orders from her boss. Lily's boss and mentor, Albus Dumbledore _had_ warned her to run if anything looked suspicious but when a little girl had been heard crying on the staircase Lily stayed longer than intended.

Lily's good intention had gotten her into the current smoky situation. Almost as soon as the first Death Eater entered the home to slaughter the children, Lily fought valiantly. She was determined to make sure nothing happened to the kids. After Lily had finished corralling the children away from danger and she was busy dueling another wizard, Lily's back up had appeared. The witches and wizards on her team were the very figures she was looking for in the hazy building-which had caught on fire from a wayward spell.

"Dumbledore was worried when you didn't come back!" Alice Longbottom, an undercover auror had shouted at Lily.

As kind as Dumbledore was, he normally would've assumed that his workers could get the job done without getting into much trouble but Lily was young. She had only been out of school for a few months. Dumbledore believed she had great potential and told her so often—when he wasn't focused on running the entire underground operation that was the Order of the Phoenix. Lily was surprised Dumbledore had noticed that her absence was longer than normal. He'd seemed very distracted the last she spoke to him.

Lily stepped across the rotting floorboard. The smoke around her was being lit up with flashes of brightly colored light. Lily could hear fire engines not too far off in the distance, and with the roar of the fire she knew she had to escape without being caught by muggle or wizard alike.

Dumbledore should've been more worried now. The muggles wouldn't be able to dismiss this as anything other than a gas leak or a fire vandalism. They would question the flashing lights, the bodies falling out of windows, and the screams of adults.

Lily was screaming now, "Alice!" she coughed against the thick air, "Where are you?"

Fighting dark wizards is what Lily had wanted to do since the rumors of the war had been floating around Hogwarts her seventh year. Lily wanted to fight and bring down the Dark Wizards threatening genocide of her kind of witch—muggle born. Any person non-magical was referred to as a muggle and Lily was the product of two non-magical people having a magical child. It wasn't unheard of for juggles to have magical children but the magical community didn't always accept Lily's kind.

The dark wizards who had come to kill the muggle born orphans in the Orphanage would do the same to Lily if they caught her. She wrapped her hand tighter around her wand and yelled bubble charms to her left, trying to subdue the flames that were swallowing up the wooden building. Finally giving up, Lily waved her wand and blew the smoke away with harsh slashes of her wand that emitted red sparks. It worked but she saw with horror that the entire building was likely going to come crashing down sooner rather than later.

Lily grabbed the shiny necklace at her neck, rubbing her fingers across the tarnished gold. The necklace had been a gift from Albus himself after Lily accepted his offer to be a part of the Order of the Phoenix after the death of her parents. It was a phoenix spreading its wings against a background of the Hogwarts castle. Lily's favorite part of the necklace was the engraving on the back and she let her fingers slide across the words.

Dumbledore had said in his office after handing the gift to Lily, "This is a gift, from me too you. Hopefully it helps remind you that even though you've lost your parents—you still have a family here."

And Dumbledore had been right beccause the Order was her family. Alice and Frank Longbottom came around for afternoon tea quite often. Dumbledore sent gifts on Holidays. Mr. Kingsley often made Lily his famous meat pies. Lily never felt unloved or left out—everyone was her best friend. She could count on them for anything, even now in the burning building.

"Lily!" A voice called out from ahead.

Lily let out a breathe of relief and ran forward, snaking her fingers around the wrist of Frank Longbottom himself who looked worse for wear with a long scar long his cheek.

"They're looking for someone Lily," Frank warned her, "The building is collapsing, Alice is checking the parameter. We need to leave."

Lily had just been about to agree when she heard another scream from upstairs. A child's scream. Frank must've seen the terror come over her face because he quickly started shaking his head. He knew Lily's weakness for helping children.

"No." Frank said harshly.

"Just a quick—" Lily replied to Frank, just as she spotted a man in a dark traveling cloak running across the adjacent hall, heading for the screams.

Lily rushed forward to go after the man and the screaming child when she felt herself pulled back by Frank. Lily yanked her hand from his grasp and ran forward with a burst of adrenaline. Once she made it to the hallway that ran into the staircase leading upstairs she looked back to send a promising smile to a probably angry Frank. Instead, a raven-haired boy had appeared and pulled Lily back away from the stairs and started going up them himself. Her jaw dropped.

Lily had seen his face other times before. He was a wizard but he wasn't in the Order of the Phoenix. He was a wizard that Lily hadn't seen in months. He seemed surprised too, because he spun on his heels mid step, and stared blankly at her.

Lily sent James a look for the first time in months, their eyes met momentarily. It was seconds, only seconds but Lily hadn't expected to ever look into his hazel eyes ever again. Everything around her seemed to be moving in slow motion. The flames licking at the sides of her body were imitating her body—burning up at the sight of a pureblood wizard staring at her like she put the stars in the sky.

That's when the flames finally hit her side, stinging like a hex. Lily snarled and clawed at the her skin as it burned. Lily's wand dropped to the floor and James rushed forward to grab it as it rolled towards the flames. Someone grabbed her from behind and fingers closed around Lily's throat just as James stood up straight. When he saw Lily's predicament he held out both wands, eyes vivid.

The person holding Lily captive amidst the flames spoke in a clear female voice with a strange accent Lily couldn't place.

"Come on Potter," the captor scrambled against Lily's fighting, "You want to help muggles? You can help this one by joining us."

James looked torn up as Lily struggled to escape her captor who held a wand to Lily's cheek with a free hand that wasn't curled around Lily's throat. Lily could hear the mysterious person breathing heavily in her ear. James opened his mouth to finally speak just as the cracking came from above. Lily let her eyes finally lift from James' face and saw the ceiling burning bright with flames above us. Whatever child had been screaming above couldn't be alive any longer.

The cracking continued. The building no longer had a fighting chance.

"Get out!" Lily heard someone behind shout, "It's falling!"

Above the two witches, the ceiling was cracking and beams started to fall. In fear of losing her life, the captor tried to disaperate with Lily in tow. Lily cried out as a burning beam hit her head and scorching heat touched her neck. The pain was blinding and Lily's vision went white.

A feeling of great pressure was forced upon Lily's body and she felt the captor let go of her neck.

 _~~~loving can hurt sometimes but its the only thing I know~~~_

Watching a building burn. Hearing sirens. Feet carry her to a familiar doorframe, feeling the thick smoky air abduct her breathing. She pulled out a long stick that fit perfectly in her left hand and pointed it into the thick black air. Foreign words fell from her mouth. It was a dream that she had almost every night.

The scene itself fades like a movie on the telly at its end. Maybe she was insane or maybe she believed jumping into burning buildings was completely normal. Madame Williams said she was an idiot for jumping into any danger, as a girl of her age ought to be learning to cook and serving men. She touched her head where her red hair had grown back from the burns from the accident. It was dark red, a red similar to that of drying blood. She hated it. She loved her eyes though, green as a toad and as observant as a deer in the woods.

"Lis, did you finish your chores?"

"Yes."

Even now Lis's eyes were observing Mistress Williams going through her books, checking to insure all her guests had paid properly. She was separating the money into piles and Lis noticed that her pile was the smallest. Lis worked just as hard as the cook and maid, yet she got paid the least. The pay was important because Lis hoped to get a ticket to get out of the town she was trapped in.

Evidently, Mistress Williams of Café Leben had found Lis wandering the streets burned, battered, and broken. Lis remembered the old woman trying her hardest to get rid of Lis, but stopped trying once she realized Lis was cheap labor. Lis had no family, no education, and no place to go. Lis could basically work for free, all the money she got went towards rent and food anyways.

Lis wanted to leave France. She wanted to travel. She wanted a family that loved her. The only problem is, she has no idea who her family is.

When Mistress Williams had found Lis on the side of a road, she didn't know who Lis was, or where Lis was from. Lily's outerwear had been decorated with a a name stamped onto the clothes but it was so mangled from the fire, Williams had taken what she could from it to call Lis something other than 'girl'. Lis herself had seen the outerwear and the only letters she had been able to make out were _L, I, E, V, N,_ and _S._

Mistress Williams mostly called Lis 'girl' anyways (and other uncomplimentary names) but did refer to her in public as Lis. When Mistress Williams found Lis, garbled English was all Lis could speak. Lis slowly regained her speech capability but spending time in France had made French Lis' main language. Lis didn't know what the other letters in her name stood for but she hoped that one day she could remember.

The only hope of knowing her past was a charm she kept tucked away from the snarky Café owner in her pocket. It was the only piece of her past that Lis had. The round charm had a landscape of a castle scratched into the gold, but it looked like a chunk of the pendant had fallen off, because the castle was marred. Lis believed the lost piece was somewhere in that burning building.

"Girl," the woman snapped, shaking Lis form her thoughts.

Lis looks up from her daydream and sees that Williams looks nasty. Lis licked her lips and awaited an order she probably wouldn't like very much. Williams demanded that Lis cleans the inn-top too bottom for an important guest the next day and until it's finished, Williams would hold off on dinner from the cook that night.

"That's unfair." Lis argued instantly, eyes flashing.

"Excuse me?" The woman stood so that she was towering over Lis.

Lis stomped her foot, "I am hungry after a normal days work—now I'm expected to do twice the work in half the time with no food?"

Williams reached up to slap her and Lis backed away quickly, sensing the anger, "I clothe you, take you in off the streets, ask you to complete one task and you mouth off?"

"I work everyday. I worked all day today and now you want me to do double the chores? I don't deserve to be treated like a slave." Lis snapped, flexing her fingers that itch to reach for something to help her beat this woman at her own game. But Lis had nothing but words to fight the woman with.

"Leave if it so pleases you, then." Williams pointed to the door, "If you think I am cruel you have no idea what the outside world is like. It will gobble a girl like you up in a moment."

If Lis left the world she knew after the fire then she'd most certainly be alone but if she stayed at the cafe, she'd never know who she was or where she belonged. Lis refused to believe she was completely alone. Someone, whoever it was, had given her the charm in her pocket. They had to be looking for her. They had to be wondering where she was.

Lis knew she needed to find her family. Lis had nothing but _fear_ of the unknown holding her under Williams' power and Lis didn't want to fear anything except _never_ seeing her family again. Lis knew that the castle on the trinket _meant_ something and it was a place where she could find her family.

"I will be fine and I will find my family." Lis told the old woman who laughed cruelly.

"If you think that silly pendant you are so desperate to keep is any clue—it isn't." The woman snarled, grabbing Lis' wrist, "No one lives in castles anymore. The castles of the old days are rotting in England. You act as if you are a lost little Princess—but you are nothing but a orphaned girl with scars of a fire someone probably set to kill you."

Lis yanked her hand from the wrist of the old woman with disregard, "You don't know me or why I was in a fire."

"You don't even know yourself!"

The old woman's words stung as Lis walked away from the only life she knew. Lis didn't know herself; Lis didn't know _anything_ about herself. But, even knowing that, she left Williams and the dinky cafe behind. Lis was on a quest with no clues but a small trinket, Lis could not and would not be discouraged.

If castles were rotting in England—then that's where she would start her search.

 _Home. Love. Family._

It was going to be all hers as soon as she got out of France.

* * *

 **Disclaimer: So this story is based off of the Fox movie, _Anastasia_. The characters are all JKR.**

 **I wrote this as a one-shot originally but I'm expanding the story and making into a multiple chapter. I really love Anastasia and I did love translating Miss Congeniality into a jily story-so this should be just as fun!**

 **next time:**

"Lily?" He spoke, eyes scanning me up and down keenly.

" _Voulez-vous s'il vous plaît arrêter?"_ Lis asked, shivering in her seat.

He now looked puzzled instead of elated, as if expecting some other answer. Lis remained cautious and repeated her plea for him to stop staring at her.

"Sorry, sorry." his fingers pushed his black frame glasses farther up his nose as he scanned her up and down.

He was British, Lis recognized the accent. She sat up a little straighter and was now observing the man with a little interest. Of all of the things from Lis' past, that was one thing she remembered. She was comfortable speaking English, more comfortable with the syllables than the French she'd been forced to learn after she'd woken up as orphan Lis.

" _Parlez-vous anglais_?" he asked Lis, sitting down across from her at the table, looking hungry for answers.

Lis eyed him, "Yes."

"Lily?" he spoke the name with softer tones this time, his hazel eyes squinting at Lis as if he was sure he'd found someone he'd been looking for.

"Lis." I corrected quickly.

His face twisted, if only for a moment, then he stuck out a hand to Lis, "I'm James Potter."


	2. The Photograph

**Chapter 1:**

 **We keep this love in a photograph**  
 **We made these memories for ourselves**  
 **Where our eyes are never closing**  
 **Hearts are never broken**

 **Times forever frozen still**

By the next day, after nonstop walking through dark streets, empty alleyways, and avoiding passerby Lis found herself standing in front of a small pub. The tall brick building had a glorious sweet smell drafting out of it and warmth seemed to be pouring out of every brick. The smell drifting from the doors and windows was familiar, similar to a sweet-spiced cream. It made her stomach rumble.

 _"You can only drink so much butterbeer Evans!"_

Lis heard a voice in the back of her head, a woman's voice, laughing. She turned to see who was teasing but she was alone minus a few gentlemen in long jackets that looked rather ridiculous, like they were from the fifteenth century. She turned back to face the pub and saw a couple of signs for warm fire, hot food, and… _butterbeer_.

The word itself was foreign but also familiar. Lily decided to take a chance because she was cold, hungry, and wet. Leaves were changing color and mornings were crisp as autumn rolled in from the countryside. She could stop and get her bearings before continuing on.

As she entered the tavern looking for help to get out of the country she noticed two short men with their backs turned at the bar. A woman in a tall hat was serving them a dark red liquid that looked like blood. Lis decided to head for the back of the tavern to a empty seat by the window and two gentleman in long jackets similar to the other men she'd seen outside. One of the men turned his head and she saw that he was handsome and his cool grey eyes looked rough but something told her he had a soft disposition around his friends. She smiled softly at him and he curved a smirk that faltered almost as quickly as it came.

The man with the grey eyes kicked his friend under the table. When Lis turned her eyes upon the companion she felt her heart skip a beat. He wasn't as nearly attractive as his friend but here was something in the laughter as he held onto the knee that was kicked and the way his glasses were lopsided on his nose…there was something mischievous in his look, something boyish. He turned his head to observe what his mate was kicking him for and that's when Lis sat down at her abandoned table.

This man was staring at Lis like she had answered his prayers. The man had messy black hair and hazel eyes that were framed by thick black glasses. Lis didn't want to draw too much attention to the fact that she was traveling alone so she started to pretend to look at a menu. Whenever her green eyes would glance up she saw that the boy in the spectacles was still staring. His friend now looked annoyed and seemed to be trying to talk to the boy—but Spectacles wasn't paying attention.

Just then the strange boy got up and began to head towards Lis one step, two, a third step. He seemed hesitant and Lis retracted in her seat. Finally, he stopped in front of the table. He was still staring like he'd never seen anything like Lis. His smile was so bright it could've lit up the whole pub.

"Lily?" He spoke, eyes scanning me up and down keenly.

" _Voulez-vous s'il vous plaît arrêter?"_ Lis asked, placing her menu down.

He now looked puzzled instead of elated, as if expecting some other answer. Lis remained cautious and repeated her plea for him to stop staring at her.

"Sorry, sorry." his fingers pushed his black frame glasses farther up his nose as he scanned her up and down.

He was British, Lis recognized the accent. She sat up a little straighter and was now observing the man with a little interest. Of all of the things from Lis' past, that was one thing she remembered. She was comfortable speaking English, more comfortable with the syllables than the French she'd been forced to learn after she'd woken up as orphan Lis.

" _Parlez-vous anglais_?" he asked Lis, sitting down across from her at the table, looking hungry for answers.

Lis eyed him, "Yes."

"Lily?" he spoke the name with softer tones this time, his hazel eyes squinting at Lis as if he was sure he'd found someone he'd been looking for.

"Lis." she corrected quickly.

His face twisted, if only for a moment, then he stuck out a hand to Lis, "I'm James Potter." Lis shook his had hesitantly as he said kindly, "You look a little lost?"

His friend had gotten up from their table and walked over, hands in pockets. Lis licked her lips and crossed her arms, uncomfortable at the attention. The two men looked at each other, seemingly only needing to glace at each other for an entire conversation. The handsome one seemed like he would've preferred that James Potter stayed back at his own table.

"I paid for our drinks," the man turned his grey eyes onto Lis, "Hello."

James Potter grinned at his friend before gesturing to Lis, "She looks exactly like Lily, right?"

The boy shrugged, "Let's go."

"Your friend seems to want to leave." Lis tried to hint that she wouldn't mind that much at all.

James Potter didn't take the hint, "He's not very social."

The man snorted then sent Lis a half grin, "Black, Sirius Black."

"Lis."

"And is there a last name with that Lis?" Black asked somewhat harshly, sending a glare to Potter.

Taken aback Lis answered, "No…I've been an orphan for as long as I can remember."

"An orphan?" they both repeated at the same time.

Lis didn't like to look they gave each other after that. It was a devious look, like they had a plan for her. Sirius leaned on the table, grinning wickedly.

"You know Prongs, she looks _just_ like Lily." Sirius' grey eyes were scanning Lis up and down, "Green eyes, red hair, and a nice complexion."

Lis let her frown deepen as Potter chuckled and crossed his arms.

"So Lil—Lis…what brings you to this fine pub?"

Just because Lis didn't trust them, didn't mean she couldn't get some answers about her travels. Potter looked like a traveler in his old worn clothes. "I'd like to go to England."

"This pub is a little far from the Thames." Black commented softly, "Why does a French dame like you want to go there?"

Lis blinked, "I'm looking for my family."

"Really?" James Potter looked as if Christmas had come early.

Lis indicated the truth to her words with a slight nod of her head, "Yes."

"We're from London." James gestured between his friend and him.

Lis let her eyes take in the boys with a new light.

"London? As in England?" she couldn't believe her luck, "What are you doing here?"

"Vacation." James and Sirius both chuckled, as if sharing a private joke.

"I wouldn't exactly pick here to vacation." Lis muttered in distaste of the bustling city.

James grinned, "My parents have an old house not too far from here…we were there doing some—work."

"And we were just about to head back—" Sirius started, "We have an extra spot." James looked at Sirius like he was mad. Sirius continued sneakily, "The extra spot is for a mate of mine, Lily Evans."

Sirius dug into his thick cloak and pulled out a wallet. James seemed confused.

"You have her picture?" James whispered in surprise.

Sirius pulled a small square from his pocket and shrugged as he passed the photo to Lis, "You aren't the only one who lost her."

Lis regarded their exchange with interest as she took the square and saw it was a photo of a pretty woman with long auburn hair and a playful red smile. The woman was standing next to the same man standing in front of Lis. Sirius looked younger in the photo as his smile was wide and bright, like he was carefree. The woman had her arms wrapped playfully around his neck as they smiled at the camera. She was beautiful and had green eyes that sparkled, but then it seemed like the woman turned her head to look at Sirius with a loving look.

"Is that picture mov—"

James reached out and grabbed the picture, stuffing it into his own pocket. His mate seemed offended and assessed James with a glare. James wrapped a hand around Sirius' neck, dragging him back. Lis could hear their bickering.

"What are you doing?" James hissed, but not entirely angry, he looked amused.

"What are _you_ doing?" Sirius countered with a smirk and a suggestive wink.

"Making friends." James demanded condescendingly.

"Lily's doppelgänger is sitting right there and you're seeing if you can talk her into having a butterbeer with you?" Sirius replied and Lis saw his eyebrow raised in a challenge for James to argue.

James took his offer with a frown, "Alright, alright shove off. But you have to admit it's been a strange day between that Death Eater and now _this_." James gestured at Lis' form sitting rigid in a bar chair.

"She could be our ticket to Dumbledore." Sirius crossed his arms across his chest.

James suddenly looked taken aback, "Sirius." He warned.

Sirius grinned wider, "James."

"We can't." James looked over at Lis, desperation in his hazel eyes.

"You mean you won't…but I would." James opened his mouth to argue again but Sirius cut him off, "We can't keep hiding out in your family vacation home, it was a close call this morning and someone is bound to come looking for you once rumor gets out that you've been spotted."

Sirius looked triumphant…James defeated.

Sirius turned back to Lis with a clever smirk.

"We are going to reunite Lily Evans with her friend and mentor Albus Dumbledore—surly you've heard of Albus Dumbledore?"

Lis shook her head immediately, "No, who is that?"

James paused and looked at Lis, then looked around at their surroundings, then back to Lis. Lis glanced around too and finally got a good look at the pub she had wandered into. Men and women sat around them and they were dressed in funny cloaks, wearing hats of all sizes, it looked almost like they were all playing dress up for Hallows Eve. Lis furrowed her eyebrows together when she saw what appeared to be a short and stout elfish _thing_ serving tea to a man playing with a stick. Lis backed into her chair, taking in this scene with wide eyes.

Lis clutched her heart and glanced at James who was looking at her, _really_ looking at her for the first time.

"You don't belong here do you?" he whispered, leaning closer to Lis' panicked form.

"Where am I?" Lis absorbed in her surroundings with distress, "Who are you?"

James looked baffled and ruffled his hair, "Well, this just got interesting." He shock a worried look at his mate.

Sirius looked just as bewildered, "Was the muggle security breached?" he asked in a hushed tone, "Should we warn the bartender?"

"The what?" Lis asked out of interest, "What is that _thing_ serving tea?"

James pursed his lips as he stared at her with perplexity, "You don't know anything about witches and wizards do you?" His hazel eyes became dark when she shook her head and tried backing up even more into her seat.

"Prongs," Sirius grabbed James' arm, "That changes things. Let's leave. We've wasted enough time…"

James ripped his arm from Sirius' grasp and came closer to Lis, eyes methodically checking to make sure she wasn't panicking too much, "You are a witch aren't you? Or a squib?"

"I—I—" She was unable to form words.

James' eyes were an exquisite color of browns and greens that blended so lovely she found herself losing her train of thought as she stared into them. She couldn't deny that she found him attractive, despite his shortcomings as an incredibly intense individual.

"Have you ever made things happen?" he whispered excitedly, "Things you couldn't explain?"

Lis' eyes had connected to a stick in Sirius Black's hand. Almost out of pure instinct, her hand flexed like it was going to grab onto the slim handle of her own stick. Her own wand. Then she shook her body a bit because she was mad, she couldn't have a wand. Magic wasn't real.

Everyone had gone mad. But then again…she recalled times when food would float to her when she was hungry. When the fire in her room started randomly one night when she was too cold to leave her blankets on the floor too restart it. Lis backed up against her chair unable to even believe that what these men were saying was true…but then again…something in her mind was making her want to believe.

James Potter looked optimistic and Lis didn't want to seem silly so she quickly shook her head.

"I don't know." She lied, "I lost my memories of my childhood."

"Memory charm." James hissed, removing his hand, which had been placed on her shoulder.

James turned to Sirius and asked him something about a potion being brewed. Lis was too busy watching what looked like a vampire drink blood out of a cup only two tables away.

Words formed again in the back of her mind like a memory she couldn't quite place ever really happening.

 _"There will be a vampire at Slug Club…you always wanted to meet one."_

Lis' mind flashed an image of a boy with a hooked nose and dark beseeching eyes. She blinked quickly and the image faded so she could refocus on the matters at hand. Sirius and James were having an intense discussion, not minding her sudden freeze.

"Memory charms?" Sirius scrutinized Lis with his calm eyes, "they are detectable. I remember learning something about it in charms, second year."

"Well that was one hundred years ago and you can't even remember what you had for breakfast this morning." James seemed to be teasing Sirius.

Sirius grinned and shrugged, "I wasn't the charms geek…that was Lily's forte."

"Peter always had a knack in charms." James suggested, scratching his chin, "We could always stop by his place?"

"It's possible," Sirius agreed before glancing again at Lis with a conniving stare like he was forming a plan.

"I can't be a—a—witch." Lis laughed uneasily, her eyes zipping between the boys, "I'm just me."

The boys smirked at each other and then James slipped into the seat next to Lis. Sirius was leaning over his shoulders, his smile cinving. They were intimidating, together. Lis wondered if she ought to have even spoken with them so much in the first place. She hadn't gotten any closer to London or finding passage to London.

James spoke quickly as if sensing Lis' discomfort, "I've known Lily Evans since she was eleven. You are literally the closest I've gotten to seeing her again."

"You know she does kind of resemble her." Sirius Black winked at her, sitting down at the table and making it so that she was squished in-between both of them.

"The stubborn chin," James murmured, pulling on her chin with one of his fingers so that he was staring into Lis' eyes, "The same green eyes."

Lis ripped her chin from James' intimate grasp only to see Sirius looking her up and down respectively. She slowly felt the blush rising up her neck as the boys literally broke her down by her external appearance.

"The same age, the same physical type…" Sirius Black eyed Lis closely like he was able to recognize every little freckle on her nose.

Lis was starting to wonder if the entire pub was a dream. It had to be a dream. These men were claiming her to be a witch lost years ago. They were talking about memory charms and Lis was sitting only feet away from a vampire and she was clearly going completely bonkers.

"Are you trying to tell me that you think I am this Lily Evans person?" Lis asked roughly.

"Well..." Sirius answered and he drew out his answer, rolling his eyes at James.

"I knew you were crazy from the start," Lis pushed at Sirius' body to let her out of the table.

Graciously he moved and stood up out of her way, sending James a warning sort of look, eyebrows up as high as his hairline. Lis started to scoot out from the booth.

"Why?" James Potter grabbed her arm, "You don't know what happened to you."

"No one knows what happened to her." Sirius Black stated, but Lis saw him send a meaningful glance at James, "Lily's friend, Albus Dumbledore, misses her greatly."

"The chances that you are Lily is twenty knuts to one," James tried convincing her to stay, "Come on, Eva—Lis."

Lis jumped up, frustrated that she was even listening to two nutcases talking about wizards and magic and a man looking for a lost girl.

James jumped up from the table too and stopped Lis in her tracks by grabbing her hand to spin her back in his direction. It was a movement that not only he seemed comfortable with but also her muscles reacted like a man like him had spun them like so more than once. When his hazel eyes caught her look of complete and utter annoyance a half smile appeared on his once serious face.

"What do you have to lose?" he asked.

Lis ripped her hand from his and held onto her thin jacket as she considered his words. James seemed to realize he had stopped her from completely leaving. Lis looked back at Sirius to see he was watching Lis' and James' exchange with a gauging gaze. Lis took a step back while swallowing and James stepped forward, not scared of her threatening eyes at all.

"How can I trust you?" she asked harshly, James appeared to wince.

"You are looking for family in London." He was so close to Lis she could see her reflection in his spectacles, "and her only thing _close_ to family is in London." She tore her eyes away from him and stared at the table they'd all abandoned.

"Come on James," Sirius reached around Lis' lifeless form to grab his mate, "we can't take her to London with us tonight…we don't even know who she really is. She could be a spy."

Lily looked up quickly. She needed to go to London, and James and Sirius were leaving for London that night. Lis reached up and grabbed her necklace that was hidden under her shirt. Underneath the folds of fabric she could still feel the etchings of the familiar castle.

"I really wish we could help." Sirius Black drew back James from where she was standing, staring at Lis with apologetic eyes, "but we can only take Lily Evans back to London. Good luck on your future endeavors."

So what if they were only looking for Lily Evans? If Lis couldn't remember who she was maybe someone else could ehlp her remember. James thought she could be a woman who went missing around the same time Lis was found in France. They did look strikingly familiar.

Hope fluttered inside of Lis for the first time in months.

If she was not Lily Evans, then Albus Dumbledore would know right away and it would all just be an honest mistake. If she was Lily Evans then Lis will finally know who she is and where she came from. The boys were at the front of the pub now, talking quickly. James appeared angry and Sirius appeared devious. They both looked frustrated with one another.

James whipped around as the front door to the pub opened so he could take one last glance at Lis who stood, staring at their retreat. His black hair whipped around and his glasses were halfway down his nose as he sent her a small but sad smile. His simple looked of sadness hit her stomach like an incoming freight. She didn't want them too leave with out her. James turned away and Lis began running to stop them from walking out.

"Wait!"

The boys stopped in unison and turned with interest. Lis raced past tables and chairs, her heart pounding her chest as she decided in the spare moment that she was going to change her life.

"I'll go with you to London!"

Sirius immediately pushed a disbelieving James out of the way to shake Lis' hand as she came forward to join them. His handshake was warm and rough as he grinned happily at her.

"Well then Lis," he grinned, "Decided to trust us marauders after all?"

Lis felt like the interaction between them was robotic and not normal but she gritted her teeth and nodded, "I mean, who's to say I'm not her? Lily, I mean. The only people who will know is her family."

James spoke up, seemingly bothered by Sirius' sudden interest in Lis' decision, he looked tired, "She can't even do magic."

Sirius ignored James' qualms and wrapped an arm around Lis' shoulder quite comfortably, "First things first, we'll ease Mr. Potter's mind."

"How?" Lis asked, wrinkling her nose.

"By getting you a wand."

Sirius Black took her hand and led her out of the pub with a wicked grin. James Potter strayed close behind but didn't speak until long after they'd left the pub in the distance and started down the long road to Lis' possible past and hopeful future.

* * *

 **next time:**

"But why were they after her?" Lis implored, "Why didn't you tell me that the girl you _think_ I am, is wanted by men like _that_?"

Sirius narrowed his eyes, "If you're truly Lily Evans you would be able to answer that question yourself. James and I hadn't had contact with her for two months before her disappearance."

"I thought you were friends." Lis accused, crossing her arms.

Sirius smiled as if reminiscing, "She was one of my best friends, actually."

* * *

 _Thanks everyone for the reviews and notes on tumblr. I can't wait for you to delve deeper into this story. Chapter 3 is (so far) my favorite and I'm excited for you to read it when I update again sometime next week!_

 _xxx_

 _Petals_


	3. The Wand

**Chapter 1:**

 **Add it all up, I can find it**  
 **The problem with love is I'm blinded by**  
 **It rattles my lungs, but my mind is**

 **Tangled between your little flaws**

Sirius and James led her to a side of the town where houses were far apart and had long driveways with spacious grounds. Sirius was going on and on about things Lis' brain couldn't fully comprehend like people eating death, muggles, and something called transfiguration. James was only offering grunts of agreements and everytime Lis would glance back James was staring pointedly at the ground.

The house that they stopped at was covered in ivy vines and the windows were foggy from years of neglect. Lis stepped off the pavement and placed one hand on the slim railing that led up to the wooden door carved with similar vines to those that covered the house. Lis reached out for he door handle, blinked and then suddenly her arm was covered in slimy red blood. She could feel the sticky residue on her fingers and her stomach rolled. Lis retracted her hand from the door instantly and held it to her chest in surprise. Another blink and the blood was gone.

Sirius pushed past her and opened the door himself. James held open the door and Lis awkwardly stepped passed him. She let her eyes glide past his face and he looked even more tongue-tied.

"Where are we?" she asked, eyeing the walls for a tell tale sign but to no avail.

James ignored her question and instead beseeched Sirius, "Why'd we bring her here?"

"Lily's wand is here, right?"

James' face went from impassive to angry in seconds, "Sirius, no!"

Sirius looked like he didn't care what James thought as he climbed a set of stairs to their right, "If she's Lily then it won't matter, will it?"

James turned his hateful eyes upon Lis and she quickly averted her gaze, not wanting to be caught staring.

"Look," he sounded like he was in pain, "Just be _careful_ with it, okay?"

"Okay." She said aversively, squaring her shoulders.

"Found it!" came Sirius' voice and then his footsteps could be heard pounding down the stairs with the energy of a stampeding elephant.

Sirius threw a stick in Lis' direction and she reached to grab it but James stepped in the way, took the wand in his own hand and side-eyed her.

"On second thought," he said somewhat distastefully, "I'll take care of this for now."

Sirius smile, which seconds before had been quite playful, was now faltering as he glanced in between Lis and James. He muttered something about grabbing supplies from a kitchen as Lis and James continued glaring at each other.

"Sirius meant that for me." Lis snapped, crossing her arms.

James rose one of his eyebrows in defiance, "Sirius often forgets what is his…and what isn't."

Lis licked her lips and rolled her eyes, turning her back to the boy who was still staring at her like he was waiting for something to happen. Sirius appeared with a knapsack and a long robe colored green. Sirius tossed the knapsack at James who caught it willingly but when he tossed the robe at Lis she stared at him in confusion.

"You want me to put this on?" she asked, eyeing the heavy fabric in question.

"That robe," Sirius pointed to the offending fabric, "Is your first step into the magical world, Lily loved robes."

"Hated them actually." James commented softly from where he leaned against the wall, "she only wore them towards the end because she didn't want to be labeled as a muggleborn…"

Sirius looked annoyed with the both of them. First he pointed at James, "You, shove it." Then he pointed at Lis, "The washroom is up the stairs and to the left, go change."

Lis rolled the robes up in her hands and stomped up the stairs angrily at first, but then slowly, as her eyes took in dusty photographs in frames. Lis reached the landing and turned to go to the washroom and change when her eye hit a large portrait that took up half the wall. She reached out with the hand on grasping the robes to touch the frame.

It was the landscape of countryside with forests rising from its depths. A field of wildflowers played at the front of the painting, teasing the eye into believing it was looking at a magical wonderland. Lis felt as if she had seen it before, the brushstrokes so familiar it was as if she'd stood close to the painting at one point in her life.

Instead of dwindling on the fact she found the washroom and quickly changed out of her 'muggle clothes' as the boys called them and into the robes Sirius had found. They were her size, if a little small. The sleeves had etchings of ivy on them and Lis wondered if ivy was a theme with the old house. Outside the house, the ivy clung to each brick and window like a tomb encasing. Inside the house it was represented on every wall, tapestry, and piece of clothing.

"What's with the plants?" Lis asked once she had descended the stairs in her new outfit, tying a belt around her waist.

"They're a metaphor." James replied from where he was leaning against the front door, looking at a piece of paper. His eyes shot up to view Lis and for a moment seemed to freeze in shock but he returned to normal moments later, "An old common name for the plant was "Lovestone", for the way it clings and grows over stones and bricks. My dad's family had owned this house for generations to grow and love in—my mother loved to play on the idea that ivy stands for love and growth."

Lis stared at him, unable to tell if he was serious or not. James' face was unmoving, slightly darkened by the lack of light in the hallway. She saw his fists were clenched and something in her heart told her that he was upset. Between the dusty photographs, the abandonment look on his face, and the lack of any warm welcome when they'd arrived made Lis wonder if James no longer had his parents in his life.

"She sounds like a lovely woman." She whispered, yearning to know why she felt the need to comfort him.

It was Sirius who cut through the thick air quickly, "A fair sight better than my own mother."

Sirius and James shared smiles finally, as if partaking in a secret Lis was not privy too.

"Shall we get started then?" Sirius asked, drawing in Lis close, "We've got a long way to go if we want to make it to Saint Malo by dark."

"Saint Malo?" James asked, throwing the knapsack on his back and straightening his glasses, "Why not Caen?"

"Caen is crawling with French Ministry members," Sirius replied, guiding Lis to the front door with a swift pull on his arm, "Plus, I owled ahead to friend, he's going to get us papers."

James grinned for the first time in weeks, "Is Peter back to working the boarders?"

"That he his mate," Sirius grinned back, "That he is."

"Who's Peter?" Lis questioned, but both boys shushed her.

 _~~~a cold wind's whispering secrets in your ear~~~_

"So why are we taking a train?" Lis asked, staring at the train they'd traveled into town for as smoke filtered out of the stack and a whistle sounded to board, "if you two can do magic like you say you can, couldn't you just poof me someplace?"

"Well..." Sirius said uneasily, as he hefted up the one knapsack they had, "James and I aren't exactly great performers at side along apparition so…"

Something in Sirius' tone made Lis believe he was lying about something. Lis didn't have any idea why they were so open about some things but hesitant to talk about other things. It really made no sense but they were Lis' free ticket to London and possibly her family, so she decided to stop questioning their actions too much or she'd drive herself insane.

"So Lis," Sirius asked as they wandered through compartments past old woman in jackets and tall men in bowler hats, "tell us how you came to be in France."

Lis shrugged, realizing that now she had both boys attention fixed on her, "I'm not sure, a woman found me wandering the streets in a town not too far away…and I know it sounds crazy but I have very few memories of my past."

"That's perfect." Sirius sounded like he was mulling over her words.

They entered an empty compartment towards the back of the train and Lis settled into a seat opposite the boys. _It reminded her of another train ride she'd had, right before school. When Marlene had accidently let her owl escape from it's cage and—_

Lis shook herself and looked out the window to see smoke billowing past as two final people boarded the train wearing clothes similar to Lis' robes. It was impossible for an owl to be on a train, who kept them as pets? Lis had never even met a Marlene in her life. It was like she was dreaming, even though she was wide awake.

Lis quickly grabbed onto her necklace and felt the etchings of the castle, "I do have one clue, however, and that is England."

"Why England?" James asked, "Of all the places in the world…"

"England had castles." Lis said softly.

"France has castles." James scoffed.

"I just feel like…England is where I'm meant to be, okay?" Lis glared at James, feeling quite annoyed with him for his constant put-down of her actions and words.

James stared at Lis with a look she couldn't place; he always looked at her that way when he thought she wasn't looking. It annoyed Lis to the point of her face turning red and having to hold back the impulse to snap at him. James cleared his throat when Sirius got up to go to the bathroom. Lis glanced back up from her solid stare on the ground and saw he was still staring.

"Honestly, what is wrong with you?" She waved a hand in front of his face, "If I had magic I'd charm you into a goat."

"You can't charm me into a goat…that's transfiguration." James laughed, truly laughed, for the first time since they'd met.

Lis remained blank faced so James could deduce that she wasn't amused. On the seat beside her were books, news magazines mostly. Lis picked the closest one up and opened it so that he couldn't no longer stare at her face and she wasn't forced to look at his.

She didn't understand why he got under her skin so much, she barely knew him. Still, there was something so unnerving about his presence both in a good and bad way. While mostly she wanted to be as far from him as possible, she also felt like she belonged in his arms with the way his eyes stared at her when he thought she wasn't looking.

"Look," he said, switching seats so he was sitting beside her, "I think we got off on the wrong foot."

"Well, I think we did too." Lis smiled, placing the news magazine down in surprise at his sudden change of attitude, "I appreciate your apology."

His mouth quirked downward, "Excuse me? Who said anything about an apology? I was just saying that-"

"I deserve to get an apology after the attitude you've been giving me—"

"I've barely spoken to you!"

"That's the point!" James looked confused and Lis sighed, "Look," She leaned in closer to try and spell it out for him, "Just don't talk anymore its only going to upset me."

"Fine. I'll be quiet." James kicked his feet up onto the seat across form them and bit his lips together like a small child would.

"Good." Lis made a point to cross her arms indignantly but something about his childlike expression had made the corners of her lips lift playfully.

She glanced away from him and out the window of their compartment. Large cities flew by like towns and towns flew past the window like birds. Lis could make out clouds and rolling hills but she personally liked when the train went through forests the best.

"Did you miss it?" she asked out loud, positioning back farther in the seat and glancing his way for an answer.

His hazel eyes became playful, "What's that? You're talking?"

"No." Lis crossed her arms again, and turned her back to him. "Votre tel un idiot. Did you miss England?"

"No." He pulled out his wand, making colorful smoke figures that danced in front of her vision. The action seemed so very James that Lis didn't even register that she was seeing magic for the first time.

She reached out to touch the smoke figures, her fingers stuck in a swirling green mist, "But it was your home."

"It was a place I once lived, end of story." James turned his hazel eyes away from her and pocketed his wand, seemingly shy now.

"You must plan on living in France for the rest of your life then?" She asked, somewhat nosily.

James snorted, "What is it with you and having a home?"

Flabbergasted she stood up, James' legs were still blocking her from leaving the compartment, "Well for one thing," she snapped, "It's what every normal person wants and it's place where you have someone who cares about you and—"

"You don't need a home to have people who love you." James moved his legs before Lis could kick them out of her way.

"Your mother certainly believed so." Lis waltzed past him with a glare that could kill.

"You didn't know my mother!" James snapped back.

"Well, this looks inviting." Sirius grinned, as he entered the compartment to see the standoff taking place between Lis and James, "Why are we talking about our mothers? Because I have half a dozen things to say about mine that probably aren't appropriate for the general public to hear."

"hmph." Lis made a noise and swept past Sirius to head for the washroom.

James' angry voice carried despite the closed door.

"When are you going to tell her what you have planned?"

"All Lis wants is to go to England." Sirius implored, "And at this point, everyone assumes Lily Evans is dead but we can bring Lily back."

"No one can bring her back!"

 _Lily's dead._ Sirius was hoping Lis could somehow—be Lily. Lis stared into the mirror in the washroom. What lonely girl didn't dream of someone finding her and telling her that she was special—a witch to top it all off? Lis imagined it must be how someone would feel if they were told they were a lost princess.

But Lis wasn't a princess or a witch. She was just a lost girl looking for her family.

She went back to the train compartment a little while later, mind rested after ripping paper towels envisioning James Potters face on them. Both the boys were missing and she figured they'd gone to the smoke car or to check the tickets with the conductor. Lis settled into one of the seats and curled her legs up, closing her eyes…

 _The woman clutched her own bleeding arm, snarling, as she advanced on Lily. Lily stood there panting, her head aching from the compression of the wood hitting her head before they'd disapperated. Behind them there was a large house rising into the sky, darkness swirling around it. At Lily's feet was the woman's wand still clutched in her splinched hand that was surrounded by a pool of blood._

 _The woman rushed at her, seemingly knowing what Lily would try._

Someone grabbed Lis' shoulders.

The dream rendering her clueless, Lis forcefully slammed her fist up as she flashed open her eyes in a panic. Her fist connected with a face, her fingers graced a nose and a pair of glasses.

"Sorry!" she quickly let out, "I thought you were—"

A rumble of discomfort echoed from none other than James Potter.

"Oh, it's you." She grinned devilishly, "Never mind."

Instead of being annoyed he looked panicked as he grabbed her hand and pulled her up and off the seat. Sirius appeared, holding onto what appeared to be his own wand for dear life. Lis' blood ran cold and she knew by their faces that they were in trouble.

Sirius exclaimed, glancing behind him with anxiety, "How'd thse Death Eaters know we'd take a muggle train?"

"We're not even sure they're death eaters, yet..." James snarled, his eyes dark and foreboding, "But let's not waste time and find out."

"A Death Eater?" Lis questioned, "What on _earth_ is that?"

"A dark wizard," James answered, pulling on her arm, "Come on; we got to go!" then he added, fingering his nose delicately, "I think you broke my nose!"

Lis rolled her eyes as James and Sirius pulled her opposite the flow of people. James eventually let go of her so that she was able to follow of her own freewill. It sounded like someone was shouting behind them, shouting a name. Sirius and James seemed to want to get far away from the shouting.

Lis ended up in the baggage car at the back of the train. People had their bags and suitcases lined against the wall whilst large boxes were stacked in the middle of the car containing books, food, and other supplies. Lis turned on her companions, confused.

"What are we in—"

Someone shouted from behind the door that was closed, James immediately jumped forward and suddenly Lis found herself behind the pair, guarded like a prize. The train lurched and Lis dropped to the floor of the train compartment, grasping onto a close by box for support.

"What was that?" James hissed, wand pointed at the still closed door.

"The train is slowing down!" Sirius answered hopefully, like that was a good thing.

A voice shouted and the door to the baggage car flung open, "Gregory! In here!"

There were two of them, dressed in black robes. One of them looked older and was balding quite significantly. The other was younger, more refined—and looked exceptionally familiar.

"Reg," Sirius breathed with the air of great dislike, "How welcoming."

"Big brother." Reg, the younger of the two men, grinned nastily.

"What are you doing in France?" James snarled at the young and handsome one while keeping his wand trained on the older man.

"I was trading valuables with a friend, when I stopped by a bar and someone told me they'd seen my brother in the next town over." The boy, Sirius' brother, turned his eyes upon Lis.

"Now is an odd time for a family reunion." Sirius snarled.

Reg glanced sideways at his friend, the blading man, who finally spoke in French, "nous sommes ici pour la fille."

"You're after me?" Lis gasped, shaking as she stood up.

"Breathe," James snorted, glaring as the men advanced slowly foreword, "They're after me."

James pushed Lis back again and pulled out his wand just as the balding man who entered jumped forward to grab her. Sirius pointed his wand at the man, blowing him backwards into the wall and rocking their train car. Sirius pulled at Lis' hand, trying to get her to move with him. Sirius' brother appeared either unable or unwilling to even fight with his brother, the young boy simply seemed to be watching Lis.

A new man appeared, wearing a billowing cloak the color of molten lava. His small eyes spotted Sirius and Lis standing together, unharmed. Sirius waved his wand again but had to doge an oncoming color of light that missed Lis by an inch and would've hit Sirius if he hadn't moved. Lis turned to run but the man reached out and stepped forward, grabbing her like a snake would grab it's prey. He was fast and he scared Lis.

Suddenly fearful, a type of fear that made Lis' blood rush and heart ache, Lis became defensive. The train lurched again and man fell on Lis as they both toppled to the floor. Lis struggled underneath him, trying to push his wand away from her body. If she knew anything about magic it was that she didn't trust magic from the wand currently aimed at her throat.

"They _are_ after her!" Sirius shouted at James after he noticed Lis was wrestling with the man on the floor of the car. "They're after Lis!"

"She's not who you think she is." Reg, Sirius' little brother, had grabbed Sirius' arm.

James could do nothing, he was in the middle of fighting the balding man. When Lis leaned her head back she saw James was sweating, he was trying so hard to keep the man from attacking. Lis thought saw Sirius punch his brother, but she was too busy wrestling with the wand pointed at her. She was able to turn it away from her, so that it was facing the man more.

" _Obtenir de moi_!" She told the man, panting under his weight as he struggled to fight her.

The man had seemingly given up on killing her with magic and instead let Lis hold his wand while his fingers wrapped around her throat. In a fit of desperation she screamed " _Exspelliarmus_!" not knowing where on earth she'd heard the word or knew it's meaning but then all of a sudden the man was thrown back away from her, forced to drop whatever he'd been holding.

Without pausing to stop and think, Lis rolled onto her stomach and pointed the wand around in all directions looking for a new target. Her attacker with the red robes was passed out on the floor from the impact of the charm she'd inflicted upon him. Sirius was panting and staring at his little brother, who was staring at Lis in wonder.

Lis didn't like the calm smile on Reg's face when he disappeared and she fancied that Sirius didn't either because he cursed loudly and turned to look at Lis with an worrisome sort of glare.

"A little help here?" James' voice reminded them he was not done his fight.

The balding man was getting James to inch closer and colder to the open door of the baggage compartment. Lis saw James glance behind quickly, worry etched on his face. At first she didn't know why James was so worried about going through the door and then she realized why the train had been lurching so much.

One of the men had disconnected the car from the actual train. They were in a runaway car. Lis jumped up, swaying with the motion of the car. Sirius made sure the knapsack was on his back before jumping in front of Lis in an attempt to escape a blue colored light from the wand of the man James was fighting. James was holding onto the doorframe, trying not to fall as the balding man used some sort of shield to block James' defensives. Lis wasn't so sure James could make a fall off a moving car and she raced to help him.

Lis knocked into the blading man with her shoulder, pushing him and kicking him all the while, poking him with my stolen wand. The man dropped his shield charm to reached out and grab Lis. James pointed his wand at the man after moments of the shield being down and sent a spell in the man's direction, knocking him unconscious to the floor.

Lis grinned at James and pointed to the comatose man, "And to think that could have been you."

"Remind me to thank you, later." James grinned back, just as playfully, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the door.

"We are not jumping." Sirius yelled at James from behind the pair.

"I'm not waiting for those gits to wake up!" James replied, sending his mate a grin, seeming excited for the first time since Lis had met him.

Lis agreed with James, not wanting to fight again, and reached back to offer Sirius her other hand. Sirius came up to her other side, looking annoyed. They were facing the countryside that was racing past in colorful blurs. It was going to hurt; Lis had no doubt about it. James said something about a cushioning charm and then he jumped, pulling Lis and Sirius with him.

First it was all air, like they were flying, then they touched the ground and their bodies tumbled and rolled in the grass. Lis thought it wasn't as bad as it could've been, seeing as she didn't feel her bones breaking, but it still hurt like Hell. Finally her body stopped tumbling down the embankment and she realized she was on top of someone, someone holding her tightly around the waist. James' breath was scorching on her neck and his arms were so tight around her abdomen she wondered if he'd be able to take them off.

"Fuck." He moaned with soft laughter into her neck, "That's worse than a bludger."

Lis pushed at him, quickly trying to rid herself of the fact that she quite liked the way he laughed so intimately in her arms. James withdrew himself, allowing Lis to finally breathe normally again. She lay there in the dirt, trying not to imagine the bruises that would appear from their tumble later. Lis' green eyes searched for Sirius but could not locate him.

"Sirius?" she asked, voice above a whisper.

"I'm alright, Evans." He mumbled.

Lis didn't even bother correcting him, she was still trying to get her heart to slow down.

"I think I just got hit in the head by that train." James was fixing his glasses on his face, they were still lopsided after he let them go.

"That was my knee mate." Sirius moaned, "definitely my knee."

"Remind me never to take the train again." James muttered, grinning at Lis.

Lis slowly sat up, fingering her head daintily. She winced when she felt a particularly tender spot on the back of her scalp, one that had to have been there before the train. James looked over at Lis as she fingered for more bruises.

"Did you know any of them?"

She shook her head, trying to get past the ringing in her ears "No," she replied, "was that really your brother Sirius?"

Sirius stood up, stretching and groaning as he spoke, "James is my brother, that git shares name only as far as I'm concerned."

Lis frowned, "Why was he here then?"

James stood up suddenly and said, "I'm gonna go walk around and try and find a place to stay."

Lis watched him limp away in confusion. Then she glanced at Sirius who was nursing his knee and wincing, "Why?" she asked him, "

Sirius turned so he was facing me and frowned considerably, "Those men were Death Eaters. They work for a dark wizard named Voldemort, who is running a raging war in England…" Sirius rolled down his robes and pushed back his hair, "It's likely my brother was in France on orders from him, or doing as he originally said. It's really none of my concern what he's actually doing here."

"And the other two?" Lis demanded, "One of them said that they wanted me!"

Sirius looked like he'd much rather not be having the conversation, "Lily Evans disappeared a few years back fighting against Death Eaters in a rescue attempt." Sirius sighed and thrust his thumb in the directions of the retreating form of James, "Like others in her…profession…she was wanted by the people she'd wronged."

"But why were they after her?" Lis implored, "Why didn't you tell me that the girl you _think_ I am, is wanted by men like _that_?"

Sirius narrowed his eyes, "If you're truly Lily Evans you would be able to answer that question yourself. James and I hadn't had contact with her for two months before her disappearance."

"I thought you were friends." Lis accused, crossing her arms.

Sirius smiled as if reminiscing, "She was one of my best friends, actually."

"She was kind." James' voice reentered the conversation and Sirius looked a bit tinged in the cheeks, like he'd said too much to Lis.

Lis turned to look at James who continued speaking, "So kind and so infuriatingly stubborn." Behind his glasses, James' eyes were soft and peaceful even though he spoke like Lily had annoyed him more than once.

"Is that a bad thing?" Lis fought, pushing herself upright so that she could speak eye-to-eye with James.

James sounded sour as he turned away from Lis' prying eyes, "You should probably know that Lily had a lot of friends thanks to her kindness, but her stubbornness gifted her with plenty of enemies too."

"She was stubborn wasn't she?" Sirius laughed from the ground, "I remember in fifth year when Mulciber was writing those nasty things about muggle borns in the stalls and she—"

"Muggle-what?" Lis pushed back her red hair, trying to get rid of the tangles as she learned more about the mysterious Lily Evans.

"Muggles are non-magic folk…" Sirius then eyed the wand at her finger tips, the one she'd stolen from the bald man, "Something you aren't."

James looked just as interested as Sirius, "Yeah, how did you get him off of you?"

Sirius stood up stretching like a dog after a nap, "You're a witch."

"I don't know how I did that though." Lis huffed, "I don't even _remember_ what I did."

"I'm still not sure," James said with a half a smile, "but I'd say you did magic."

Magic. Lis reveled at even the smallest hope in her stomach that it was true. That maybe she was special. Even if she wasn't the mysterious Lily Evans perhaps going to England would help her figure out her past and if she was a witch in another life. James took the knapsack from Sirius and dug into it, pulling out the long wand of Lily Evans. He stared at it a moment and then passed it carefully over to Lis. She smiled softly as the soft wood slipped over her fingers, reminding her of something that her brain couldn't quite grasp.

The wood was brown, with greenish hues rising to the tip. It looked well worn as far as Lis could tell by the fingerprints on the handle. It had a chip on one of it's rounded edges. It felt warm in her hand and her body was covered in goosebumps.

"Take care of it." James kindly asked her.

Lis clutched it to her chest and smiled brightly at both Sirius and James, "I won't let _anything_ happen to it."

Sirius smiled, playfully, throwing an arm over her shoulder, "Lily said that all the time but then I'd find it-"

"Under desks, in the hallways, buried in the library, covered in potion," James checked off all the places Lily Evans would leave her wand, "It was amazing really, how often she'd misplace it."

"Like you're any better." Sirius laughed, "The number of times you left it on the Quidditch Pitch are too many to count."

Lis figured out that although the boys seemed to complain about her often, they loved her more than they'd ever let on. Lis wondered if Albus Dumbledore was really the only one in England who missed a woman named Lily.

* * *

 **Next time:**

"No, no, no, no! No one ever told me I had to _prove_ I was Lily Evans!"

James looked like he was now wishing he had never let Lis near a wand since Lily's was currently pointed at his heart.

* * *

THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE. I'm thanking all of you individually too. Please leave more love. I love love.

xxx

petals


	4. The Ring

_Chapter 4:_

 _This love is good, this love is bad_  
 _This love is alive back from the dead_  
 _These hands had to let it go free_

 _And this love came back to me_

"I hate to bother you both but my feet _really_ hurt."

"Didn't do much walking where you come from?" Sirius shot back with humor.

Lis stopped walking behind Sirius and lifted one foot to check to see why it was throbbing. Her eyes were rewarded with red welts growing around her ankles where her boots were rubbing into her skin. It appeared that leaving the Pub without proper clothing was finally catching up too Lis and her boots simply weren't made for all the walking she was doing.

Ahead, James seemed unconcerned and was still walking, Sirius had turned slightly just to check on Lis. Once Sirius saw her feet (apparently the welts were large enough to see from far away) he whistled and James came to a stop as Sirius bent down to examine Lis' feet. Lis yelped when he tore off the other boot and the skin that had been sticking to the leather ripped off with it. Some of the blisters had popped and Lis marveled at how she was still walking.

"So are we walking the rest of the way to England?" Lis asked, somewhat cynically.

"No, we'll take a boat to England." Sirius answered, looking up at James who had come over with a concerned frown, "Unless you fancy swimming?"

"I don't know how to swim." Lis winced as she put pressure on her foot.

"It was a joke." Sirius rolled his eyes and g;anded at James, "We would pick the girl with dainty feet."

James smiled at Sirius before observing Lis with eyes that flickered with a slight playfulness, "Who leaves home without socks?"

Lis frowned, not in the mood to play with her aching feet, "I must've forgotten to mention to you that the woman who found me didn't exactly care about my well-being."

Pity entered James' eyes and he almost looked sorry that he'd been mean.

"Here." Sirius turned his back to her, arms out.

"Here, what?" Lis asked, balancing herself on Sirius' shoulder.

"Hop on my back, you numpty."

Lis couldn't see Sirius' face but she had no doubt he'd rolled his eyes. Lis exchanged a glance with James, who shrugged at her, before she put both her hands on Sirius' shoulders. He turned his head to grin wolfishly at her.

"Come along, Princess." He teased, "I don't have all day."

"Princess?" Lis admonished greatly, making sure to roughly cradle her legs around his torso.

Sirius huffed as she settled into his hold, arms draped lazily about his shoulders as he hitched her up his back with his hands.

"Yes." He started walking and James chuckled greatly from behind the pair, "Princess. You. Definitely."

"I'm offended."

"Good," He pinched her knee playfully, "It wasn't an endearing sort of term."

Lis let out a string of words in French that would make any mother she once had roll over in her grave. James let out a laugh that started in his throat and came out as a scratchy and all-together pleasing sound to Lis' ears despite her annoyance.

"You've got to admit," James offered kindly, "Your feet shouldn't blister wafter one day of walking."

"It's been more than one day." Lis pouted, "I left Madame's at least twelves hours before I met you."

"And what made you up and leave so suddenly to find this family of yours?" James asked as Sirius huffed along with Lis on his back.

Lis didn't want to give the boys any more reason to taunt her or tease her again so she remind silent and simply watched the scenery go past as they walked.

At her stubborn silence James pinched her knee and she shot him a glare, "I'm only teasing." he seemed to not like when she was upset with him.

Sirius however, seemed to feed off her annoyance, "Don't let her get to you mate, girls like this starve for attention."

"At least I'm not a certified git." She complained as Sirius carried her along the roadway.

"Oi!" Sirius jumped a bit, causing Lis to squeal and hold onto him tighter, "Remember that _I'm_ the one carrying your sorry arse since your feet are shite, Princess."

"Play nice, Sirius." James seemed to be amused by their arguing, as he exchanged a grin with a disgruntled Lis.

"Shut up, mum." Sirius countered back.

"Are you both brothers?" she asked, seriously, despite knowing they both had different last names.

"As good as." James said some what proudly, like he was happy to have Sirius around.

"Where are they now?" Lis asked, "Your parents?"

James didn't answer, instead Sirius spoke up from behind, a sour tone implicated in his low voice, "They died."

"Oh." Her reply was delicate, as Lis was unable to form words other then those that mirrored her slight surprise.

"It was a long time ago," James offered kindly, as if that made the conversation less intense, "They were very old."

"Kindest people you could meet." Sirius said, "Took me in when I had no place to go as a teenager, raised me like a second son."

"Did Lily know them?" Lis asked, her chin rested atop Sirius' head lightly and her chin lifted her head back as Sirius nodded.

"Lily did know them," James replied, "She was often invited around for tea on Sundays."

Lis sighed as she imagined the red haired beauty laughing with an old man drinking a cup of tea out of the ugliest flowery tea cups. Lis imagined that afternoon tea with Sirius and James must've been a interesting experience. she could imagine them both going out of their way to cause mischief.

The three young adults traveled by foot until they reached the town both boys had been talking about. It took until the sun had disappeared in the distance and stars were littering the sky. Lis was falling asleep; her head rested on James' shoulder (he and Sirius had switched duties about halfway through as Sirius complained Lis was heavier than a horse) when James announced they'd reached their destination.

The building they stood in front of was an old fisherman's house, distinguishable by the half of a rowboat stuck ceremoniously at the front like a sign. A single light shone through the window but it quickly switched off, like the owner didn't want any visitors. Lis felt like the home was very erie.

"Where are we?" Lis shouldn't help wrapping her arms tighter around James' neck and shoulders. If he noticed, he didn't say anything.

Sirius and James ignored her. James nodded to Sirius and looked at the flat while biting his lip before stepping inside the open front door. The inside was just as dingy as the outside. Dust and sand littered the floor, along with newspaper clippings that dated back to three years before.

"Step into the light Wormtail," Sirius commented cheerfully, like he was speaking to an old friend, "It's been six months, you should be jumping into our arms with happiness at the sight of us."

There was scurrying and Lis squinted her eyes, trying to spot the man that the other two did. All of a sudden, like magic, a man came out of the shadows. He was shorter and obviously nervous as he was letting his fingers twist together in a hurried sort of way. James let up on his grip that was keeping Lis on his back so that she slid slowly to the floor. Lis winced slightly as she felt her blistered feet touch the cold stone floor.

Almost as soon as the man realized James and Sirius weren't alone he flinched a bit and stepped back. Lis stepped forward quickly and stuck out her hand kindly, smiling.

"Hi, I'm—"

"Lily?" The man squinted, hands now clenched as his watery eyes took in Lis' skinny form.

Lis was about to correct him when Sirius stepped forward, hugging the man with conviction. The man hugged him back, blue eyes still staring at Lis like she was a ghost. Sirius was whispering urgently into the mans ear. The man pulled back in shock at whatever Sirius was saying, shaking his head.

"Padfoot," the man looked more like a boy now as Lis' eyes adjusted to the light, "I can't help you."

"Come on Peter." Sirius said angrily, "It's because we were trying to help _you_ that we got ourselves into this mess."

"The only ferry that leaves is tomorrow morning and I can't get an owl to the Ministry check point that fast." The man complained, "It'd take some serious talent to get proper passports that fast."

"What mess?" Lis spoke up, frowning, "And why do we need passports?"

Sirius shushed her by raising his hand in her direction while he continued to try and talk the man named Peter to help them in their task, "Come on Wormtail, you can get us onto one of those ships."

"Why don't we just buy tickets?" Lis argued quickly, sensing that this man seemed hesitant to help James and Sirius.

"Don't worry about these things, Princess." Sirius silenced her with a look, or tried too because Lis just huffed and shot him a rude hand gesture before continuing to argue.

"Your friend doesn't want to help, don't make him." Lis snapped.

James seems to be taking in the entire ordeal with amusement, "Peter would you mind telling Lily why you don't want to help us?"

Peter turned his eyes to Lis, "Are you really Lily Evans?" he asked suspiciously, "I have it from very good sources that she was killed by a Death Eater sympathizer named Alexis DeJesus."

James bristled at the name and asked quickly, "Heard anything else about that bitch while you were at it?" Lis flinched back a bit, and stared at James in surprise from his harsh words. She'd never seen him so vicious, it was a trait she'd reserved only for Sirius.

Peter shrugged, seeming a bit more relaxed like James' anger had set things right, "Well, just that she's still trying to recruit wizards on this side of the water to join You-Know-Who's cause."

"Nothing new then." James sighed and strung his fingers through his hair in frustration before glancing at Lis again, "She's got some bad blisters from walking and I'm pretty sure my rib is broken from jumping off a train—" at Peter's odd look James smirked, "Long story, anyways, is there a place we can sit her down?"

Peter nodded, "There's a small inn not too far from here, the old woman who owns it adores me."

"Every old woman adores you," Sirius snorted, as if sharing a private joke, "Everyone thinks your so innocent and trustworthy."

James snorted as he lifted a very confused Lis' arms around his shoulders, "farthest thing from the truth."

The boys continued bickering and it was like they'd forgotten Lis was even there. Despite the tensions when they'd first arrived, Peter seemed to be opening up and was sneaking glances at Lis every so often when the conversation died down. They arrived at a small inn that was covered in signs for a farmers market in the morning. The windows were fogged and inside Lis could hear laughter and see the silhouettes of bodies moving around. As they followed Peter through the doorway Lis whispered into James' ear.

"What's happening? Who is he? Does he know Dumbledore?"

James whispered back, "He works in the shipyards here…he's quite the little sneak and can get us onboard a ship that's safe to get us to Dumbledore."

"Can we trust him?"

"I trust him with my life." He squeezed her hand, "He was one of my best friends in school."

Lis couldn't help but feel like Sirius and James weren't telling her the entire story and it worried her.

Peter led them to a table in the back of the bar and quickly went to round up drinks for everyone. Sirius immediately pulled out his wand and had James sit Lis down so he could help heal her blistered feet. Lis loved watching magic be preformed, she examined the precise way Sirius waved his wand and she memorized each slight movement of his mouth as he whispered incantations. Inside her head, she felt like she knew some of the spells.

"Why doesn't Peter want to help?" Lis asked Sirius, who seemed more inclined to speak when he was busy fixing her feet.

"Even the bravest people get scared." Sirius answered back, grey eyes looking up at her through his hair, "The last time Peter helped us, things didn't go as planned."

" _Faire n'importe quel de vous enfants comme quelque soupe?"_ The bar keeper asked Lis as she passed, observing Lis' blistered feet with a clucking tongue and glaring at Sirius, like it was his fault.

Lis smiled kindly at the old woman, " _Oui plaire et merci_."

"You'll have to perform magic to prove you're a witch once we get back to England." Sirius continued as he stood up and put his wand in his pocket. He seemed nervous now, almost like he didn't know what to say to her, "I could help you learn more than a few simply disarming spells?"

"She can do magic?" Peter looked up from the other end of the table, surprised out of his conversation with James.

"Watched her take down a death eater, myself." Sirius nodded, sitting down beside Lis and eating some of the bread the old barmaid had given them (after winking kindly at Peter).

Lis had eagerly sat up at Sirius' offer, "I'd love to learn magic."

"How do you even know she took down a fully trained death eater, if she doesn't even know simple healing spells?" Peter said, scathingly. James shot the stout wizard a warning look.

Sirius waved Peter's comment off, "Stop being negative, Wormtail, honestly."

"I think you both are wasting your time." Peter argued, "Sirius you shouldn't be encouraging this girl to resurrect someone we all cared about…and James you shouldn't be…" he paused as if thinking better of his words and then more solomly he spoke, "it's just _not_ her."

Lis looked at James and saw he was red with what appeared to be anger. He crunched his fists together and refused to look at Peter for a few minutes, as if childishly trying to ignore him. Lis brushed her hair back and awkwardly sat there as the bar woman brought out soup for all of them. Finally, after minutes of silence, she mustered up the courage to speak her mind.

"If I am definitely not Lily," she chose her words carefully, "Then there is no reason to continue with this trip."

Sirius pouted, "Now, there's no reason to give up so easily." He argued, "I believe you are Lily. You have an uncanny resemblance and—"

"She's French." Peter said flatly, "Our Lily was from Cokeworth."

Lis frowned and James spoke up, "She speaks French because she had too but you can hear that she also speaks fluent English."

Peter sighed and stared at Lis before seemingly giving in, "Fine," he said defeatedly, "I'll sneak you lot onto the half past seven ferry."

Sirius grinned and clapped Lis on the back, "See, Lis?" he said with a flair of his hands, "You'll be with your family soon enough."

James shook his head before standing up and offering his arm to Lis, "Come on Princess, early morning." He said kindly.

"Don't you start with the Princess thing too," she told him playfully as she accepted his hand, "I saved your life on that train, remember? You _have_ to be nice to me."

"I remember." he smiled kindly, hazel eyes sparkling.

"Go over a bit of magic with her!" Sirius shouted after them, "McGonagall will likely test her."

"Who is McGonagall?" Lis asked, leaning into his arm as he guided them through the inn to the bedroom they had been given for the night.

"Dumbledore's deputy headmistress." James replied softly.

I thought we were going to see Dumbledore himself?" Lis let go of his arm and scrutinized him, "James?"

She hadn't known James very long but she could tell by his shifty eyes and his hands shifting through his hair that he was uncomfortable. He looked like he didn't want to have the conversation with her. Lis put her hands on her hips and stepped towards him, he stepped back quickly.

"Well," His last syllable was drawn out, "Nobody gets near Dumbledore without finding him first and he's rather hard to track down—McGonagall would tell us where he is once she saw we have Lily."

"What?" anger flared up inside Lis and her hand instinctively went and grabbed Lily Evans' wand so that she could point it threatening at him despite her lack of knowledge of spellwork, "No, no, no, no! No one ever told me I had to _prove_ I was Lily Evans!"

James looked like he was now wishing they'd never let Lis near a wand let alone given her one. He used his finger to pull the wand down and away from his face. She couldn't help but snort as he bit his lip, caught in his own lie. This was what both boys had been keeping from her-the fact that she'd somehow have to prove that she was someone she actually wasn't.

"Lis look," he tried to explain quickly, obviously not wanting her to get too angry.

"Show up, _sure_ …look nice… _fine_!" she muttered angrily, way past listening to him, "But you want me to _lie_?!"

She turned away from James and crossed her arms, the wand feeling incredibly heavy in her fingers now that she knew they wanted her to lie with it. His hand grasped her shoulder and she winced, despite it's light pressure.

James spoke, "You don't know it's a lie." And then softer, " _What if it's true_?"

Lis looked over her shoulder and saw he was staring intently at her, willing her to not run. his intensity frightened her sometimes. There was something in his eyes that dared her to run but something in his face that begged her to stay.

 _"bonne nuit."_ She told him coldly before trying to escape down the hallway from where they had came.

What on earth had she gotten herself into? She didn't have proof she was Lily Evans more than James or Sirius. They were running on looks alone. Something was being left out of my knowledge, something important. It was Like Sirius wanted Lis to be Lily in order to fix something and it was like James…every time James looked at her it was like he was looking at a ghost.

Lis didn't want to be a ghost.

She walked back into the dining area where Sirius and Peter were playing a game of what appeared to be chess. When Sirius saw her heading for the door he stood up quickly and raced twords her before she could make it to the street.

"I'm done." she snarled, "I'm not going to pretend."

"Okay, so there's one more stop on the road to finding out who your family is." Sirius muttered quickly, "I just thought this would be something you had to see through to the end no matter what."

"Just look at me Sirius," she said angrily, "Everyone says she's dead, your friend certainly does. And James…James! _He_ thinks that she's dead. I mean, he looks at me like I'm a ghost!"

"He just doesn't know what to say!" Sirius argued and for once in his life he looked like he was being honest.

Lis huffed and looked away from him, her skin prickling with anger. Peter had gotten up from the table and was slowly inching his way over to their argument.

Lis, angrred with Sirius' persistence said harshly, "I'm not going to lie and get her family's hopes up—only to find out later I'm a con."

"You are not a fraud." Sirius argued, grasping her wrist as she flung open the door.

"Then who am I?" she huffed before marching out into the cold, alone.

She marched down the road, anger coursing through her veins. Sirius was shouting after her, but he was shouting for Lily…not Lis. Tears stung at her eyes and she ran, letting her recently healed feet pound at the gravel. What felt like ages later, she reached a beach, where waves were gently lapped along the edge of the pebbled shore. Someone walked up behind her and she sniffed, rubbing her eyes with her sleeves quickly, exspecting Sirius.

Instead, Peter fell into step beside her, kicking a small rock out of his way. Lis remained quiet and stared at the waves that gently touched the edge of her slippers, causing water to enter her shoe. Sometimes the waves would halt and she could see her reflection in it. She stared at the reflection searching for a sign of the girl she'd seen in the photograph—the girl so alive she seemed to glow off the paper.

"What do you see?" Peter asked softly, when he noticed her leaning towards the water more and more.

Lis snorted, "I see no one, just a girl with no past." she heaved a sigh, trying not to cry and she glanced sideways at the boy, "And no future."

Peter shook his head, "You want to know what I see?"

She turned shyly to see he was offering her his arm, she took it carefully as he explained, "The moment you walked into my home you offered me kindness, a kindness only few possess. Sirius says you have a sharp tongue with a strong mind…and James…he clearly admires your passion and fire."

She blushed lightly at his comment about James, "He cared about Lily Evans a lot didn't he?"

"More than you could even understand." Peter agreed, "more than any of us put together."

Lis swallowed, thinking of James' soft smiles and his playful manner. She had a feeling Peter was implying that James Potter had loved Lily Evans. Before she could ask Peter for a confirmation, Sirius appeared with a wide grin and Lis groaned. Peter chuckled and squeezed her arm reassuringly.

"He means well," he told Lis as Sirius swept forward with the air of a king who was loved by his nobles. James was not too far behind, looking nervous again as he surveyed Lis with cautious eyes.

"So," Sirius said, "Are you ready to become Lily Evans?"

Before Lis could snap, James rushed forward and said, "There is nothing left for you in France, I can see it on your face—you want to go to England."

Lis bit her lip and reached up to feel for her necklace under her clothes. She had a family and it wasn't impossible that Lily Evans could somehow be Lis. Merlin knew if Lily Evans had enemies maybe they had found some way to make Lily forget who she was. Maybe fate had reunited her with the boys—to bring her home.

She closed her eyes and nodded softly, turning to look at James.

"Okay," she said kindly, "Start telling me everything you know about me."

Lis allowed James to walk her back to the inn while Peter and Sirius followed not to far behind. James and Lis were sharing a room, whilst Sirius and Peter shared one next door. Lis was relieved she had the quieter of the two boys but James also made her nervous. It seemed like sometimes he was angry with her and then other times he treated her like an wounded animal he was scared would run away before he could help it.

As Lis settled into the bed (James had offered fairly quickly to sleep on the small couch) he spoke to her softly, telling her things about Lily Evans.

He was slowly opening up as he spoke to her from under his blankets, "you would make faces at Mary MacDonald and terrorize old Professor Binns." He laughed out loud, a pleasant sound that warmed Lis straight down to her toes, "I loved watching you—" then he realized he said too much and he blushed deep scarlet, going back inside his shell.

Lis sat forward a bit, smiling at him. He was very sweet, despite his shortcomings of an obvious temper and a knack for teasing. It was like he tried to act cool, even though he was simply very dorky—in his own way. James ruffled his hair and she caught the glint of something on his finger. A ring was glowing in the firelight, a ring she hadn't noticed before.

It was plain, gold, and for some reason Lis thought it established something important.

"What's that?" She asked him, pointing as his hand fell back to his side.

He lifted his hand in confusion nd then spotted the ring. The red stain drained from his face almost immediately, "It's a ring." He said with a tone of finality.

"Are you married?" she asked, not knowing why she was suddenly so interested.

James snorted, obviously bemused, "No," He took off his glasses and turned over on the couch so he wasn't facing her, "I'm not exactly the type of bloke any self respecting girl brings home to meet her parents."

"It was from Lily," she said softly, declaring her knowledge of the subject.

"Goodnight, Lis."

Grumbling about James being secretive and a few _'it's just a ring'_ s later, Lis had closed her eyes and fallen asleep.

Lily blinked and grinned at James as he buried his fingers into her hair on either side of her face.

"You love me," he announced fiercely, cocking an eyebrow when she giggled, "Don't believe me?"

Lily pushed her hands against his chest as he leaned closer, "it's just a ring." She laughed gaily, "I saw it in the shop and thought you might like a gift from me for your birthday."

"Just a ring!" he scoffed, as his leaning pushed them back against the stone walls of the castle, "It's a token of your affection!" he leaned his forehead up against hers with a wicked grin, "You love me."

She muttered with a playful smirk as he pecked the side of her lips impatiently, "Love is a _very_ strong word."

"Oh please, Evans." He snorted, catching her mouth with his against and using his hands to angle her mouth perfectly against his own.

Lily murmured happily as his hands left her face and their fingers intertwined, the golden ring on his finger brushing against her skin as a reminder of their love for one another.

Lis woke up without remembering any of her dreams, but she couldn't help the small smile that appeared on her face each time she spotted the ring on James' hand, especially when he would nervously twirl it.

* * *

 **next time:**

"You think she's dead?"

Lupin frowned deeply and looked at Lis, "Why else wouldn't she have come back to us?"

* * *

 **Thank you for patiently waiting for this chapter! Both my jobs have been working me to the bone, I've hardly had time to proof-read. I LOVE all my reviews and mentions on tumblr! Please keep it up! They inspire me!**

 **xxx**

 **petals**


	5. The Ferry

Lis fingered the edge of Lily Evans' wand with a nervous touch as she awaited Sirius to return with Peter Pettigrew. Apparently they were working on getting into contact with someone on the other shore. The docks she was waiting on were bustling with people, most on their average morning commute to work. It was strange to Lis, how she could easily pick out witches and wizards from the crowd of non magical human beings. Just simple mannerisms and clothing styles practically shouted their difference as people passed Lis on the docks.

The weather was dreary and James stood beside her in a knitted sweater that bore a regal lion symbol she felt like she'd seen many times before. It was weird that being with these boys made daydreams seem real. She smiled shyly at James when he realized she was staring and his lips curved into a smile too. Another wizard passed and noticed James' sweater in a way that a huge smile appeared on his face as he reached out to pat James on the back.

"A Hogwarts boy, eh?" he said charmingly to James.

James beamed and puffed out his chest, "Best school there is, sir." He replied honestly, "She went too." He nodded to Lis who froze in the spotlight as the man turned his welcoming face onto her.

"What house were you in girl?" The man demanded while proudly pointing at himself, "I was a Hufflepuff myself."

Lis looked at James who furrowed his brow in realization that she had no idea what the man was asking of her. All the words swirled together in her head… _Hogwarts_ … _Houses_ … _Hufflepuffs_ … _what the Hell was a Hufflepuff?_ and then she remembered hearing a word before—perhapes one of the boys had said it offhandedly.

"Gryffindor." She spoke softly, "I was in Gryffindor."

"Well you two Gryffindors have a blessed day." the wizard shook James' hand but James was too busy staring at Lis in surprise.

When Sirius and Peter appeared moments later James asked if either of them had mentioned the Hogwarts houses to Lis. She heard both of them deny ever saying anything to her face. She watched as James' face turned back to hers in disbelief and shock.

"How'd you know Lily was in Gryffindor?" he asked, pushing his glasses up farther on his face.

Lis didn't like the way he was staring at her, "I just remember someone saying it…so I lied." She stared pointedly at James, "I didn't have any idea what he was talking about."

Sirius looked like Christmas had come early as he threw an arm around her shoulders, "Merlin, you're a dream come true."

"What's Gryffindor?" She asked, intrigued, "And Hufflepuff?"

"The houses at the school we all went too." James told Lis, "The students were separated into houses and the houses were like your family."

Lis realized what that meant, "And you boys were in the same house as Lily Evans."

"Same house. Same Year." Peter confirmed as he pulled three sheets of paper from his pocket.

Peter passed each of the papers to James, Lis, and Sirius. Lis saw that it was a passport allowing entrance from France into England under the name Lis Calloway. Her picture, was a moving photograph of Lily Evans herself staring up at her. They'd used a fake name with a real picture. Lis felt the irony was too good to be true considering she was a real girl under a fake identity herself. Lis also noticed that James and Sirius' paper had different names entirely but were listed as relatives.

"When I got your owl that you were going to try and get back into England undetected I sent in a favor." Peter commented at James' surprised look, "At first I thought it might've been a trick but when you both showed up with her—I knew it wasn't foul play on either side." Peter looked kindly at Lis, "I hope you get everything you're looking for."

"This is more than we deserve Wormtail." James smiled before reaching out to hug his friend, "I know how much this is putting you at risk."

"Make it worth it." Peter told him, "For all of our sakes."

Peter accompanied them to the ferry and left his goodbyes with Lis, last.

"Keep the passport." He told her as they hugged, "Should anything go wrong, tell the men at the ferry launches that you know Pettigrew and they'll see to it that you're safe."

She smiled kindly, "Thank you."

"Keep an eye on James for me." Peter made a distict look at James and Lis turned to see that James was waiting for her patiently at the top of the steps that took them into the ferry.

"I will." She smiled back before letting go of the stout wizard and climbing the stairs, taking one last look behind her at France.

It didn't even feel lke she was saying goodbye. It felt like she was saying hello to her new future in England. She watched as Peter's waving form disappeared behind fog as the boat pulled away from the shore. James sat beside her on the railing as the ship departed, staring off into the distance.

"On the train you asked me if I'd missed England."

Lis looked up at him as he spoke, their hair blowing in the wind as the ship moved, "You said it didn't matter."

"I wasn't lying," he licked his lips, "It's not the _place_ that makes somewhere a home—it's the _people_. And I miss the people greatly."

"I'm sure they missed you." Lis offered kindly.

James chuckled and smiled at her, "There wasn't much to miss, I'm afraid."

"Why did you leave?"

He brushed past her question, "We'd best get a move on to the dining area as I imagine Sirius has probably already eaten the entire breakfast buffet."

James was right, as they found Sirius was a plate full of food on the complimentary breakfast buffet. Lis herself couldn't help picking some of the rich pastries, as she felt starved despite the fact that the boys were feeding her more than she'd probably eaten in a month at Madame's. James himself was blessing the ground Peter walked on for providing them with such fine dining on the ferry as he ate a bowl of oatmeal covered in fruit.

"We'll be arriving in Portmouth in about five hours." James was telling Sirius, "And Peter says he's going to owl Remus, so hopefully Remus will meet us at that tea shop."

Sirius grinned at Lis, "Are you ready to see your new home, Princess?" he asked playfully.

Lis nodded over her cup of coffee, "I suppose so." She sipped the drink and winced at the bitter taste so she put the cup down quickly.

Sirius laughed and took the cup from her, "Yeah, Lily wasn't a fan of coffee either."

Lis washed the coffee taste down with a sip of apple juice before she turned to grin at James, who was watching her with a peculiar expression. He dropped the look when he noticed she was paying attention to him.

"Do you want to come on deck with me again?" she asked good naturedly, "I want to see if I can spot some dolphins in the waves!"

James laughed nervously but after Sirius shot him a shooing look, he obliged to Lis' offer and stood up, offering her his hand. Lis took it and excitedly led James out of the dining room and back into the salty sea air. They both leaned against the edge of the ship, the salt water hitting them in their faces as their eyes scanned the horizons for porpoise.

"I've never seen a porpoise before." James said as they settled into their spots beside each other.

"A man in the pub showed me a photograph once." Lis murmured, "He was a professional photographer and he had these great stories about all the creatures he'd seen."

"I'd love to do that, travel the world and document my adventures." James looked over at her, "I'm rather good a drawing, you know."

"Are you?" she loved when he opened up, it made her appreciate him so much more as a person, "what do you like to draw?"

"Anything that captures my eye." James answered, "I once drew a map of our entire school…and I was particularly fond of drawing animals."

"What kind of animals?"

James' eyes sparkled at her enthusiasm, "All kinds! Unicorns, werewolves, dogs, and even mermaids."

"Mermaids?" Lis whispered, imagining faire haired maidens with wish tails for legs.

"We used to go sit out on the lake for ages." Lis perked up at James' voice and smiled with interest at him. He continued softly, "Lily always wanted to see a mermaid and she knew that the lived at the bottom of the lake."

James chuckled at her childish exclamation, "I'd try telling her that the mermaids weren't exactly beautiful—you see their skin is green and they have seaweed-like hair. I saw one once when a circus came to town as a kid but Lily didn't believe me when I told her they were nothing special. She had this image in her head of a beautiful magical being and she made me sit for hours at that lake…"

Even though James was trying to make it sound like he'd hated those times by the lake, Lis imagined he missed them greatly. He stared out at the water; almost in another world at he spoke to Lis. A world in which he still had Lily Evans.

"That was the thing about Lily though," he finally looked away from the ocean and glanced down at Lis thoughtfully, "She thought everything was special."

Again, he started twisting the ring on his finger and Lis watched his walls raise up again as he quickly excused himself to run upstairs really quick to check on Sirius. Lis stared out at the ocean water, blinking as the soft spray splashed against her pale face.

She blinked and behind her closed eyelids a lake spread out as far as the eye could see. Stars sprinkled the sky. A giant tentacle rose out of the water like a mystic being. A girl squealed and a laughing voice calmed her down.

 _"It's just the giant squid you numpty."_

Then she opened her eyes and someone grabbed her from behind. Lis screamed and kicked out, biting down on the hand that covered her face roughly. A curse shot and bounded off the water below as Lis realized she was being attacked. Lis saw the flash of a bald head and lava colored robes.

She tried to scream, she tried to reach for Lily's wand, and she tried to escape but the man was holding on tight, not letting her go.

She felt like she was in a body bind, one that she couldn't escape. Her mucles were useless and she felt physically dead. Mentally though, her mind was moving quickly, trying to assess how she could escape.

She begged, trying to move out of the way of his wand, "Please, I don't even know you!"

The man just sneered, "Alexis sends her well wishes…"

"Oi! Leave her alone!"

Someone jumped on the man. Lis was dropped to the floor where her hands hit the deck, burning from the impact. Lis stared at them, checking for marks. Whoever had come to Lis' rescue was fighting and grunting as he wrestled the wand from the mystery man. Lis heard a thunk and someone fell to the ground. She tensed, ready for the impact of a spell or another person. Her body felt like it could move again, but Lis was still so confused. She felt like curling into a tiny ball and never moving.

"Merlin, I can't leave you for two seconds. Are you okay?" two hands pressed themselves against Lis' cheeks and Lis looked up to see it was James, checking every inch of her for damage.

Lis' lip wobbled as she looked around, tearing her face from his grip as she looked for the man. He was on the ground, suffering from a bloody nose and whatever else James had thrown his way. She had a feeling James was a decent fighter. She drew her knees in and looked at James with confusion.

"Who is Alexis?" she asked.

James stared blankly at her as she struggled to come to terms that someone had just tried to kill her. Someone actively wanted to murder her. She'd almost died. _Again_. It was getting rather old. Why did everyone want Lily Evans dead?

"Alexis?" he said, worriedly looking around them "How do you know that name?"

Lis pointed to the man on the floor, "He told me her name."

James chewed his bottom lip before leaning forward and brushing her hair back and away from her face. The intimacy of his touch made her blush and she stood up quickly to hide her embarrassment. She pretended to be very interested in the man, though her only interest was in the fact that he wanted to kill her.

"He's the same man from the train." She said, "If he's here—"

"His friends aren't far behind." James agreed, "Why though?" he stared at her indignantly. His voice was even more frustrated, "I just wish I knew why they are chasing you and not me! They always wanted me." He huffed and stared down at Lis' face in uncertainty.

"They think I'm her." Lis gazed into his hazel eyes, "I'm Lily Evans."

James opened his mouth to say something but then Sirius appeared, surveying the man on the ground and Lis and James beside his motionless body. His face became annoyed very quickly and he flashed his cool eyes at James.

"How the bloody Hell did they know we were on this ferry?" Sirius whipped out his wand and glanced around for spies.

"Someone had to have seen us." James said, standing upright and dusting off his robes.

"Seen us and not tried to kill us?" Sirius argued.

Lis rubbed her arm, "maybe at the Inn with Peter?"

James shook his head; "Peter wouldn't take us anywhere unsafe seeing as it'd be his head on the line."

Sirius hissed, "Either way, we're being tracked. We have to get off this boat."

"Sirius."

"What?"

"This was different…" James glanced halfway at Lis, "He mentioned _Alexis_. And he was specifically trying to kill her."

Sirius and James both looked at Lis expectantly. Sirius pointed his wand at Lis, causing her to jump back in surprise.

"Are you a spy?" he asked her, "Playing a double card, trying to get us killed?"

James wrestled Sirius' arm down, "Are you mad?" he shouted at his friend, "She's Lily! She's got to be!"

"Oh now you're so bloody sure," Sirius shouted back, "When five minutes ago you were convinced she was dead?"

"If the both of you are so convinced that she's dead, why bother with me?" Lis' outburst caused both of them to immediately take two steps away from each other, "What are you getting out of this? What are you hoping to accomplish?"

It was almost like she'd had this argument before, like their faces matched a memory from long ago. Both boys stared at her with wild eyes; they glanced at each other in disbelief. Lis put her hands on her hips and continued staring them both down with a hard gaze. Sirius whistled and James shook his head.

"We didn't teach her that." James muttered to Sirius.

Lis raised an eyebrow, "What?" she snapped.

James swallowed and mumbled, "You sounded just like Lily."

"Come on." Sirius muttered, "Let's get to the car hold, no one will find us there and we'll sneak off once the ferry lands."

Sirius left and James glanced sideways at Lis, "Come on," he said, his tone softer, "I don't think you'd fancy being anywhere in sight once he wakes up."

Lis stared at the man in the lava colored robes, the one that had tried to kill her twice now.

"Who is he?"

"He works for a witch I know," James said, "Alexis."

"You know her?" Lis asked in confusion, "Why is she trying to kill me?"

"Because if you are Lily," he said softly, "And she lied about killing you—you're a threat."

Lis followed James down to where cars were parked, awaiting the mainland. They all hopped into the back of an older topless cab, piling into the seats comfortably. James fell asleep almost immediately beside Lis, his snores softly echoing through the hold.

"I'm sorry." Sirius said finally, and almost like a child that didn't want to admit he's been wrong.

Lis looked at him with little emotion playing on her face, "For what?"

"Accusing you of being a spy." Sirius answered, staring at his hand, refusing to look her in the eyes, "It's obvious you aren't—it's just hard for me to—I mean I just got—" he faltered, not wanting to admit anything of the things he was.

Something inside of Lis bubbled warmly for him and she smiled, reaching over to touch his hand, "Thank you." She replied kindly, "I accept your apology."

He looked up through his hair and smiled softly. Lis took this as her chance to get some answers.

"Why me?" she asked, "Beside's the obvious factor that I look like Lily…why are you so certain one moment that I am her and so against it five seconds later?"

Sirius stared fixatedly at her before answering like he was slowly picking every word that came out of his mouth, "Do you know what it's like to lose someone?" Lis shook her head. Sirius continued, "Imagine having someone you love so much, someone you'd die for…disappear overnight." His grey eyes were hollow as he spoke about losing Lily, "She was pure sunshine, always happy. Everyone loved her." His eyes looked over at James, "Some of us loved her more than anything."

Sirius told Lis stories about Lily Evans at Hogwarts and she felt like she was seeing it all in her mind's eye. She saw herself entering Hogwarts via a train and getting sorted by a talking hat into Gryffindor. She saw her own hand waving Lily Evans' wand and creating hair color changing charms. She saw little figures flying broomsticks high in the sky. She saw the faces of the many friends Sirius spoke of, despite not knowing them herself.

She imagined what could have been.

"She brought out the best in me." He whispered, now lying back in the vehicle, painting a picture with his words, "She loved me, really loved me..." he looked over at Lis, who was captivated by his words, "I think that's why when I look at you—all I see is her—but I also only see you. Because Lily is dead. I accepted that a long time ago."

"And James?" Lis whispered back, "What about him?"

"Losing her made James…Well, He never really came to terms with her disappearance."

Lis pointed to the ring on James' finger that she had spotted the night before, "She gave him that. Didn't she?"

"Want to learn some magic?" Sirius quickly changed the subject and Lis only allowed the change because she had been itching to learn some new spells since James had given her Lily Evans' wand.

They sat in the car with James fast asleep beside Lis, wands creating colorful effects that lit up the old car magically. Srius seemed to enjoy teaching basic spells, which she mastered quickly. It was like second nature to Lis and with each accomplished spell she grew more and more laidback with the wand in her hand. It was like an extension of her, it fit her fingertips perfectly and she only felt more alive with it.

Sirius taught Lis the wand movements for a jinx designed to flip it's target upside down. Lis grinned as James gave a particularly loud snore and sent Sirius a wicked wink as she aimed her wand at the knocked out wizard. Sirius, for the first time since she'd met him, looked excited and giggly. He acted lik a five year old at Christmas as she prepared to play a prank on the unsuspecting James Potter.

"Do it!" he encouraged her with a hurried whisper.

Lis waved her wand in the proper motions and said the word Sirius had spoken, "Levicorpus!"

James was jolted away due to the fact that he was now twisting around by his ankle about five feet above the car he'd been sleeping in. Sirius and Lis broke into stragled laughter as James shouted obscenities at Sirius.

"Bloody Hell Sirius, what is this, fifth year?!" James shouted angrily.

"It wasn't me!" Sirius was crying he was laughing so hard. He threw an arm around a beaming Lis' shoulders, "It was our girl, Lis."

Lis couldn't help beaming at Sirius when he properly named her as their girl. Her. Lis. Not Lily Evans. Just Lis. James let out a strangled moan from above.

"Please tell me you taught her something more useful than levicorpus."

"James," Sirius put a hand on his heart, "You wound me. Levicorpus is a staple spell."

"Let me down!" James demanded, with conviction to Lis, and it caused her to recall a time similar to this.

 _Lily tried not to smile at him, not when she was so furious at James. "Let him down." She demanded of the boy who was grinning up at his handiwork. Severus looked less than pleased at being hung upside down. The boys would be the death of her._

 _James, so young in the face, smirked wickedly "Certainly."_

Smiling to herself Lis raised the wand and swished it similar to the James in her mind, "Certainly."

James landed in a pile of robes and tangled limbs beside Lis. He groaned, his face smushed into the car seat and Sirius gaffawed again, slapping Lis on the back.

"That was brill."

"I learn from the best." Lis grinned when James shoved her unceremoniously in her legs as he tried to right himself.

"I hate you." James groaned, rubbing his head, "I've got a concussion."

"Sob it up, you baby." Lis chuckled, leaning away as his hand went to swat her.

They continued making fun of James, even after they finally reached England and snuck off the ferry unnoticed. James, seeking revenge, stole Lis' wand and was holding it from her reach. He continued teasing her until Sirius accused them of flirting and James passed the wand back quickly. Both James and Lis were red from embarrassment.

Sirius led James and Lis to a little teashop not far from the docks after their passports were checked and affirmed by a little old man in a pea coat. Lis noticed both boys kept their heads down more than they did in France. James had his hood popped up, hiding his signature messy hair as they walked cautiously through the streets.

The tea shop was empty save an old woman counting coins at the register and a man staring at a newspaper. He was wearing a really old patched jacket and his sandy hair was swept to one side nicely. Lis saw a scar running alongside the edge of his face and she noted, as they got closer that his eyes were in fact, not string at the newspaper, but them. His smirk turned from one of complete humor to one of complete surprise. He dropped the paper once James moved from in front of Lis and his mouth was open in surprise.

"Hello Remus." Sirius said when they'd reached the table, "miss us?"

"Peter said you were coming with a surprise but this—" The man called Remus stood up and hugged both the boys with warmth that didn't quite meet his eyes as she stared at Lis.

"We're taking her to Dumbledore." James said when he saw Remus' hesitation towards Lis.

"You know I can't do that." Remus said quickly.

"We know." Sirius answered, "We're going to McGonagall first."

Remus ignored him and instead focused on Lis, "Who is this?"

"Lily." James answered simply and Remus sent him a disbelieving look.

Lis opened her mouth to introduce herself but Sirius cut her off, "We found her wandering France. We think she was hit by a memory charm."

"Sirius thinks she was hit by a memory charm." James corrected, "but she doesn't show all the signs for that though."

"It'd be a difficult spell to trace...Mad Eye might be able too…" Remus answered, his gaze tracing Lis' feature with interest, "But Lily's dead."

"You think she's dead?" Lis whispered hauntingly, looking at Sirius and James with accusation in her eyes.

Remus frowned deeply and looked at Lis grimly, "Why else wouldn't she have come back to us?"

Lis was taken aback at his bluntness. He was unlike any of the boys she'd met so far. He was distant, more so than Peter. He was distrusting despite his deceiving boyish looks. James brushed back his hood with agitation.

"Please, Moony." James begged, "We can start over, have a second chance."

"You can't undo this with a photo copy of Lily." Remus said harshly, "Merlin, it's a wonder Peter let this happen, after everything."

"Everything we did was to protect all of you."

"Lily _died_." Remus stood up, James looked like he was choking on his words, Sirius went pale and glanced at Lis.

"You don't think I'm haunted by the fact every second of the day?" James whispered, fingers crushed against his palms, "I know I fucked up, I know I'm the reason she'd dead. Why do you think I never came back?"

"Don't play pity party." Remus snapped, "Not to me. I've heard the both of you were looking for any way you could to get back into the Order and since you couldn't…you ran away and brought back a girl."

"We were in France so that no one could find us." James argued, "Sirius and I aren't exactly chums with the purebloods. We'd be killed in an instant if they spotted us."

"They're telling the truth." Lis stood up for Sirius and James, who looked at her in surprise, "The Death Eaters have been trying to kill us since we met in France."

"Who are you." Remus turned on Lis, roughly.

The arguing was horrible and Lis blinked back tears at Remus' brass attitude, "Please, my name is Lis—I'm just trying to get home."

Remus seemed to realize he was harsh and took a step back, placing his fingers on his temple, "Sorry, Lis, is it? Where is your home?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know where home is?"

"We told you." James whispered, "Memory charm."

Lis fingered her necklace under the robes she wore with dainty fingers, frowning and holding back tears, "What if," she whispered, glancing up at Remus, "Your Lily didn't come back to you because she couldn't remember you."

Remus blinked in surprise at her, "Do _you_ think you are Lily?"

"I've got nothing else to lose if I'm not." She answered firmly.

Remus glanced around at the boys and then at Lis.

"Let's take her to Hogwarts."

Sirius laughed in disbelief and ran forward to hug Lis, spinning her around, and kissing her firmly on the forehead.

"You did it!" he whispered in her ear, "You did it, Lis!"

Lis, although happy at Sirius' excitement, couldn't help but notice the sad looks on both James and Remus' faces.

* * *

Next time:

The woman turned on Lis, "Fine. How did you escape the siege on the Hampton Court Bridge?"

James groaned and put his head in his hands while Sirius's face went pale. Lis lifted her eyes to the woman in surprise. Of all the questions, this one was unanticipated and bewildering.

* * *

thank you everyone for your kind words! It means so much to me to have this support! I really just write for fun so I'm happy some people are getting enjoyment from my brain!

Some of you have asked why I didn't list this as a crossover. I'm a bit old fashioned when it comes to this website so I tend to leave that sort of stuff alone and just lost my story simply. Sorry if it upsets you.

See lee you hopefully next week for the next chapter!

xxxx

Petals


	6. The Necklace

**Chapter 6:**

 **Something's gone terribly wrong**  
 **You're all I wanted**  
 **Come on, don't leave me like this**  
 **I thought I had you figured out**  
 **Can't breathe whenever you're gone**

 **Can't turn back now, I'm haunted**

"Lily had a sister you know." James was walking just a little ahead of Lis, describing each aspect of Lily's life as he knew it, "I remember her being a bit of a stuck up but I 'spect she'd love to see you."

Lis rubbed the bridge of her nose as she imagined what Lily's sister could look like. A bony-horse-face shaped woman appeared in her thoughts. Lis imagined the woman must have shown up in one of the stores in France as she'd never really met a woman with such a long neck before.

Lis imagined how meeting Lily's family might be, if it was possible that they could love her. Lis or Lily.

"James."

Lis _loved_ the way he turned to look at her with half a playful smirk on his face. his hair was haphazardly falling to one side of his face and his glasses were crooked. The pure boyish look tugged at her heartstrings. Lis realized she legitimately had feeling for James Potter.

The sudden notion rendered her almost speechless and she stumbled over her own feet as she came up to James.

"What?" he asked, glancing ahead to make sure Remus and Sirius had noted of their slower pace.

Sirius looked back, but only for a moment, because he and Remus were talking very quickly to each other.

James seemed to realize Lis suddenly lost her gumption to speak. She watched with inquisitive eyes as he seemed to reach out for her hand, only he pulled back at the last moment. He seemed unsure around her, afraid of her almost. Even still she smiled, knowing that his reach simply meant cared about her.

Lis took a deep breath, "Well, what if no one believes I'm Lily…if she's dead—"

James did take her hand at that moment, looking worried, "I don't-"

"James," Lis frowned pulling her hand from his, "I've got nothing except the looks."

"There's more too Lily than her red hair and green eyes." James said firmly.

Lis wasn't sure how to explain her fears. She didn't know how to explain to James that she was scared of more denial from those closest to Lily. She was scared of getting face to face with more people from Lily's past and scared of being rejected by them. Lis, suddenly embarrassed, brushed all her hair over to one shoulder and twisted it slightly, looking anywhere but at the boy beside her. James surprised her by laughing, like he was sharing a joke with himself. She glanced at him awkwardly.

He was smiling down at her, hands in his pockets, just staring at her like she was the only thing in the world he needed.

"What?" she kicked the ground and kept twisting her hair nervously.

He stopped them from walking any farther by placing both hands on her shoulders. She looked up at James and felt a jolt in her stomach as she stared up at him. He was quite handsome with his caramel colored looks, right down to the hazel eyes that shimmered at her like liquid gold.

"Don't worry," he whispered, taking a hand and tucking her fringe back behind her ear and causing her skin to tingle, "You've got a lot going for you."

She didn't know why his touch was so smoothing but she knew she was falling for him. It startled her that she wanted James, knowing he was in love with a woman she was also desperately hoping to be with each passing moment. She smiled sweetly at him before glancing away and walking forward again. James fell into step beside her and Lis found she didn't mind his closeness.

James stayed at Lis' side until they reached their destination. Wavy grasses made it appear that the small shack (Lis didn't have the heart to call the windowless place a flat) was abandoned. If i wasn't for a little path in the bushes that led to a front door, Lis would've assumed they'd reached the wrong place. Remus however, sighed at a small flowery plant on the side of the house and muttered something about killing everything he touches. James snapped at Remus to stop making his house look like a shrieking shack. Lis had no idea what James was talking about but Remus chuckled to himself.

Remus led them inside and Lis marveled at the house because of its distinct look of abandonment. The walls had no pictures, except one that looked like it'd been spell-o-taped to the panels on the wall. Lis stepped closer and saw it was Remus with two older people smiling brightly at the camera. The flat was one room. A bed sat in one corner, covered in mismatched blankets. A trunk sat open at the end with magical artifacts pouring out of it's top.

The room's centerpiece was a fireplace that was obviously used as a cooking place by the pots and pans distributed around it's dead embers. Lis was reminded for a moment of an old fairytale she'd heard about a woman called cinderella. She smiled to herself and turned to ask James if he knew what she was thinking of but James was too busy dusting off a box full of mismatched trinkets.

"I see you _still_ haven't decorated." James commented, but it was playful.

Remus shot James a look, "I prefer it this way. Less to damage."

"Less to clean." Lis muttered, and James snorted at her side, eyeing her appreciatively.

Remus ignored them and went to a small fireplace covered in soot. He reached inside of his grubby robes and pulled out a handsome oak wand, eyeing the fireplace with a considerate look.

"We'll just floo to the castle, no need to raise alarm by getting other Order members involved." With a wave of the wand he'd pulled from his pocket a fire appeared in the fireplace.

Lis stepped closer in marvel at the magic she'd just witnessed. James chuckled at her fascination with the fire. Lis watched with interested eyes as Remus reached for a small bag placed on the mantle. He opened it up and Lis was surprised to see a dirt-like product sprinkle onto the floor from inside the bag. Remus saw her apparent fascination and looked at Sirius and James with raised eyebrows.

"She's magical, you said?"

Sirius nodded and motioned at Lis, "Yeah, show him Lily."

It took her a moment or realize Sirius was talking to her. She brushed her hair over her shoulder again and looked at Sirius with wide eyes.

"Oh," she said slowly, feeling all eyes on her, "Uh…" the only one stuck on her mind was _levicorpus_ and she was unsure if she should do that particular spell.

James was warning her with a look to not even dare, apparently he was still a little sour from their last experiment with that spell. A simpler word came to mind as she stood under their judging reached into her robes and drew out Lily's wand, so finely crafted. If Remus noted that she had Lily's wand, he made no notion. Instead his eyes remained transfixed on Lis' face as she waved it and bubbles erupted from the tip, showering the blokes in soapy (but quaint) magic.

Remus smiled at Lis with a real smile, warmth reaching his eyes, " _Lovely_ , as always."

"You should've seen her pull a levicorpus, Remus." Sirius snickered, "She had James _reeling_. It was hilarious."

Lis grinned at Sirius at that comment and they shared a secret smile at James mumbled about being betrayed.

Remus dipped his fingers into the bag and pulled out a pinch of the dust. Lis watched with bated breath as he threw the powder into the flames. The flames turned emerald green and shot up to Lis' height. Remus looked exspectantly at Lis. She remained stationary, just smiling, waiting for her next direction. James winced when Remus cleared his throat.

"It's Floo Powder," James took Lis' hand, "It'll take us where we need to go."

"What do you mean?" Lis asked James curiously.

"Come on, I'll show you." James gripped his fingers around her hand tightly. Lis looked down at their entwined hands and couldn't help the cheerful feeling that spread through her entire body.

"You'll want to _specifically_ say Deputy Headmistress' Office or you could end up anywhere in Hogwarts." Remus warned James who nodded.

Sirius chuckled, shoving his hands into his pockets as he watched Lis and James, "Yeah, we don't need Slughorn seeing her and going into hysterics."

"Merlin, he'd have a heart attack." Remus muttered.

"I'd pay to see that." James countered as he pulled Lis with him until their feet were inches from the fireplace. The heat from the fire seemed daunting.

"Wait." Lis froze when James continued to try and move closer, "You want me to walk _into_ those flames?" She was questioning the sanity of the boys now.

She dug her heels into the ground and James pulled a bit on her hand before realizing she wasn't budging. He chuckled and wrapped both his hands tighter around her hand. He had a twinkle of mischief in his hazel eyes and she certainly didn't trust him now.

"No." she said more definitively but that only seemed to make his grin wider.

"Trust me." James licked his lips, tugging ever so slightly with a twinkle in his eyes, "I promise I won't roast you alive."

"Debatable." She took a tiny step forward though when he leaned his face closer to hers.

James took her slight moment of weakness to his favor. James lurched, dragging her into the flames and she squealed as the flames grew up around their bodies. "Deputy Headmistress' office, Hogwarts School!" James shouted clearly as Lis clung to him in disbelief as the fire merely tickled their extremities.

Lis felt warm, but that was the sudden addition of James' arms wrapping firmly around her waist. She could hear his laughter as suddenly she felt like she was being squeezed through a really tiny tube. Different fireplaces flashed before her eyes. She thought she spotted a vampire staring into the flames.

One minute they were seeing the faces of Sirius and Remus—both amused beyond belief at Lis' reaction—and the next James and Lis stumbled out of a fireplace onto a fluffy golden sheepskin rug. James was laughing into her chest as she struggled to push him off her. She was yelling at him, but it served him right for nearly giving her a heart attack.

"Merlin, you can't just push a girl into the fireplace James!" she mumbled into the soft rug.

James' body shook with laughter beside her, "You should've seen your face—"

Lis reached out with her leg and kicked him in the shin. She was rewarded with a feint disgruntled noise from James.

"It can't be…" a voice interrupted their banter and Lis looked up from the carpet, blowing hair out of her eyes.

A woman stood over them. She was pulling a pointed hat off her head as if to emphasis her surprise at the couple collapsed on her office floor. The woman had a stern face and eyes that pierced through Lis like needles. Lis suddenly felt the need to explain herself to the woman. James seemed to feel similar to Lis because he sat up and cleared his throat, pulling at Lis.

"Hey." James sounded childish and Lis wasted to smack her forehead.

Just as the woman looked like she was going to speak again, Sirius and Remus came tumbling through the fireplace. they were must smoother than James and Lis. Sirius went right to leaning casually against the stone of the fireplace. Remus didn't have nearly as much soot on his robes as James did. Lis tried to brush her shoulders off quickly.

The woman backed up, holding her hat to her chest. She appeared speechless from the visitors that entered her office unannounced. Lis felt bad for intruding so rudely and she stood up so as to shake the old woman's hand.

"It can't be possible." The woman whispered faintly as she stared at Lis' outstretched hand.

"You remember Lily." As if methodically, Sirius swept forward to introduce Lis.

Both James and Remus groaned. The woman gave Sirius a look that could've sent at least one hundred kids into panic without a second thought. Lis had a feeling both James and Sirius had been on the end of her lectures before, based on their current dispositions.

"Of course I remember Lily," the woman snapped, turning her harsh eyes upon Sirius with great dis-contempt, "What have you boys done?"

Sirius feigned being upset by putting a hand on his heart and shaking his head, "It's like you don't trust us, after all this time."

"Shove off Padfoot, before she gives you detention." Remus pushed Sirius and stepped forward to the woman who was so sternly observing the children in her office, "Can I speak to your privately for a few minutes?"

"And let these bafoons outside of this office?" the woman implored, "Mr. Lupin I would've expected better of you!"

Remus shrugged, "This isn't about them. It's about the girl standing in front of you."

James seemed to know Lis needed to leave the office and so he grabbed her hand, "Come on," he muttered to her, squeezing her hand appreciatively, "Come on, let Remus talk to her."

"Mr. Potter." The woman addressed James as he pulled at Lis to the door.

James turned his eyes to the woman, looking tense, "Yeah?"

The woman thinned her lips, "Don't take the girl far. We don't need anyone to make any connections."

"I'll just take her to the lake," James replied smoothly, "We could both use the fresh air."

Once the door closed behind them Lis spoke, "She was a little scary."

"Don't worry, her prickly disposition normally means she likes you." James replied, running his fingers through his hair like he was nervous about something.

James led Lis from the old office and into vast and empty hallways. All the hallways seemed like something out of a dream she once had. Lis struggled to comprehend why she knew that turning left out of the hallway would lead her to a statue of an old hag. She kept her hand tight in James' feeling like she'd stepped down the staircases of these stone walls more than once. It was like entering a haunted house and hearing voices of a long dead-only Lis was hearing laughter and happiness echo in her brain. She was seeing faces pass that welcomed her in with bright smiles and enthusiastic waves.

She was seeing things she had no idea existed.

"Where are we?" she asked James, staring at the moving portraits on the walls. A knight on a grey pony waved at her from a portrait of two old soldiers carrying each other across a battlefield of dead dragons.

"Hogwarts." James explained, "It's where Lily and I went to school."

Lis marveled at the tall cielings. She gasped at free floating ghosts that passed them with curious eyes. Some even greeted James, but James seemed in a hurry to get to the lake he'd been mentioning. Finally, after a lot of walking, they stepped through a small door and a grassy expanse of a field spread out before Lis' eyes.

They had exited Hogwarts by a wayward door Lis hadn't even noticed until she was feet in front of it. The cool air hit her face and was so welcoming Lily took in a deep gulp of it. At Lily's side James seemed to relax too, his grip on her hand lessening.

To Lis' right was a dense forest, creature flying over it's top. Lis spotted owls circling in the skies overhead. Her feet were covered in soot from the fireplace but the moist dirt at her feet was covering the grey residue quickly. To Lis' left was a large expanse of a lake that glistened in the fall air. Lis got a little excited as she realized it was the same lake Lily and James used to spend their days at. It almost looked exactly like she had imagined, but the tall green grasses were turning a golden brown.

Lis couldn't help grinning while feeling goosebumps rose on her arms and the back of her neck. It was the most beautiful thing Lis had ever seen in her life. She sighed peacefully and wished she had the ability to take a picture and save it for a rainy day.

"Are you crying?" James asked, hint of hilarity in his voice.

"It feels like home." She laughed back, turning to look at James, "I know that sounds silly but—"

"No," he cut her off, a knowing look in his eyes, "I get it."

Lis beamed and hugged his arm closer to her body so that they stood side-by-side staring out at the lake. They walked together to the lake edge, looking for stones in the brown sand. James pointed out various plants at the water edge and Lis laughed when he tried skipping a rock along the waters edge and a small goulish looking animal popped up out of the lake to grab it before it made two skips. James called it a water demon and quickly turned the animal's defense of it's lake into a game.

While James made it his mission to get rocks farther across the lake, Lis turned and saw the expanse of the castle behind her. A large building to her right was covered in windows that reflected the clouds in the sky. It was a large tower, with three adjoining towers sticking from the sides, that caught her immediate attention. Lis reached inside the neck of her robes and pulled at the chain of her necklace.

The necklace, the only part of her past that she had, was inscribed with a similar castle. Goosbumps rose on Lis' arms again as she lost her ability to think for a moment.

 _Why was Hogwarts castle etched into a necklace that she'd been wearing when she was found in France?_

"James?" she hummed, turning to see he was working up a bit of sweat as he struggled to beat the creature in the water at his own game.

"Hm?" James looked up, grinning, legs soaked up to his knees, the boyish smile making Lily's own knees go weak.

"Why-"

Lis was unable to ask him the meaning of the necklace though because they're silent spot on the lake had been compromised.

"James!"

Someone called for them, well, one half of them. Lis looked up the grassy hillside to see Sirius was the interrupter. Lis noted that Sirius was followed by the stern woman and Remus. James waded out of the lake and shook his legs, trying to get the water and mud off the bottom of his legs. He grinned at Lis and Lis didn't return his grin, she was too unsure from her new observation.

She had a necklace with Hogwarts on it.

She had a piece of something that could very well link her to Lily.

Lis held onto her necklace as the woman approached. The woman still had on her stern face and looked very well peeved at the lot of them. Lis fell back into James who grabbed her shoulder as if supporting her. Lis felt like she'd seen the woman many time before. Her spectacles were halfways down her nose when she reached Lis, looking very official.

"Hello." The woman's eyes looked over Lis with the intensity of a hunting hawk.

Lis dropped the necklace and reached out to shake the woman's outstretched hand, "I'm—"

"Lily." The woman finished, "I've heard."

"What's wrong?" James asked, leaving his hands on Lis' shoulders.

"I'm afraid that there have been some…issues." The omwn turned to glare at Sirius, who looked guilty.

"I'm sorry?" Lis asked, pulling from James' grasp to continue her conversation with the woman, "What kind of issues?"

The woman cleared her throat, "I understand Mr. Black believes you to be our missing friend, Lily Evans."

Lis decided now was a good time to bring up the necklace, "Well, I have a-"

The woman cut her off sympathetically, "It's simply impossible for you to be Miss Evans, as her body was recovered in the wreckage of the orphanage. I understand you have no family. You are welcome to stay here until term starts but-"

"What do you mean her body was fucking _recovered_?" James spoke very loudly, "Did no one have the decency to...I dunno... _owl_ me?"

Everyone turned to look at James. His boyish look had been replaced by a haunted look. It was quiet, Lis could hear the water moving behind them. It looked like James was in shock. Lis herself felt disappointed but if Lily's body had been found...

"Dumbledore told her that McKinnon said that the Order recovered her body." Remus spoke when the woman appeared too startled at James' outburst to speak, "I'm sorry James."

"Her body couldn't have been recovered!"

Sirius shook his head quickly at James and went to grab his arm but James' eyes had gone wild, "James, we-"

"No, she's not dead!" James shouted, Lis flinched.

"Mr. Potter do realize I have no control over this matter and _don't_ shout." The woman snapped, "How do you propose to prove she's alive? It's very clear that she was killed in the line of duty. Unless you were there..."

Lis saw all three boys exchange looks and Lis realized that the woman had no idea James claimed that he had been there the night Lily disappeared. Lils wondered who knew James had seen the love of his life ripped away from him? James pointed at Lis and Lis shook her head quickly, only stopping when the woman looked at her sternly.

"Ask her anything, Professor." James said, "She's Lily. I know she is."

 _Professor_

Lis stared at the woman with interest. _Professor of Transfiguration. The woman who could turn into a cat._ Lis felt her head pounding at the thoughts racing through her head and she grabbed ahold of her necklace again.

"She's not gone." James demanded, then with a little less assurance, "She can't be gone."

The woman turned on Lis, "Fine. How did you escape the siege on the Hampton Court Bridge?"

James groaned and put his head in his hands while Sirius's face went pale. Lis lifted her eyes to the woman in surprise. Of all the questions, this one was unanticipated and bewildering. Lis turned to James for answers.

He had his hand buried into his forehead and he looked ashamed. Behind him the Great Lake spread out way beyond Lis' ability to see. Moments ago James had been splashing in the shallows with not a care in the world. Lis wished whole-heartedly they could go back to that moment, maybe then her stomach wouldn't be churning as much. James' eyes lifted to hers, apologetic and kind.

"I'm sorry." he said as if knowing she was totally lost on an answer.

Her heart skipped a beat.

 _"What are you doing here?" her voice screamed over the water that was splashing into her face as she struggled to stay afloat._

 _"I'm so sorry." he begged for her forgiveness._

 _Water splashed her in the face as she looked up at the brick bridge where bodies were likely dropping to the cement._

"They were going after the children first." Lis whispered, mind flashing to large and dark creatures that caused her blood to run cold.

Lis recalls a brick lined bridge, she remembered the dementor attack. The creatures weren't supposed to be there, they were supposed to be guarding Azkaban…but the Ministry had lost control. Magical creature's had been running wild for weeks, defying all Ministry attempts to collect them. The war had pushed everyone and everything to limits that the magical community hadn't been prepared for. Lily had been guarding the entrance to the bridge, based on a tip that the Magical Creatures Riot was going to be up and down the Thames.

"They weren't even pausing to check the age—" Lis couldn't even see the people surrounding her at the lake, she was just remembering the cold hands reaching out for her, reaching out to suck her soul under.

James put a hand on her shoulder, both in her dreams and right there, by the lake. Always there for her. Always ready to fight with Lily and for Lily.

"James pulled me off the bridge into the Thames." Lis whispered, looking back at James who had pulled his hand to stare at her in shock.

"What?" his hazel eyes were like saucers behind his glasses.

"That's impossible," the Professor deduced, "I'm sorry, but James Potter was watching several protected contacts of Dumbledore's the night of the siege. Miss Evans escaped by way of patronus charm."

But she _hadn't_. Lis didn't remember any possibility of a patronus charm; she'd been caught too far off guard.

Then she remembered, she remembered like it had been only days before.

 _"Please, Lil." the sheer panic in his voice caused her to shiver, "You can't tell anyone. I've already been in trouble once, and I screwed up again."_

 _"James—"_

 _"Please."_

Lily had lied.

 _"You don't need to worry about me." Lily exclaimed over a dinner table._

 _"Of course I worry about you!" James' voice was dramatic, overbearing, "I love you!"_

"Lily." James' hands were wrapping themselves around her, _Lis_ , using a dead woman's name.

Lily struggled to breathe. She felt like James was suffocating her. She felt like she was going to pass out.

"I'm sorry," Lis whispered, clutching her stomach and looking at the old woman, "I'm feeling incredibly…"

The woman seemed to realize all this had been too much for Lis and she barked at James to hold Lis. Lis was hardly ready for James to be so close to her but she accepted his help, her head was spinning far too much for her to walk away on her own.

"I've got you." James wrapped a steady arm around her, "Come on, Hospital Wing."

"Mr. Potter—"

James ignored the woman and pulled Lis up into his arms. Lis moaned and gripped her fingers into his skin, feeling a pounding in her head that murdered any possibility of thought. James bringin her back into the castle that started all the panic only made her headache worse. By the time they'd entered a ward with a woman dressed in bright white robes, Lis escaped James' hold so she could throw up in the closest waste bin.

The world around her went dark.

When she woke up she was dressed in a white dressing gown and the only light came from candles on the walls. Lis sat upright and panicked. She pushed the covers off her legs and looked around her surroundings for help and answers. The beds that lined the hall were all empty. The only other body in the hall sat slumped in a chair. Lis' eyes made out the messy black hair of James Potter. His glasses were sliding off his face and Lis knew he must be asleep. He'd fallen asleep waiting for her to wake up.

Her heart broke for the second time that day.

She reached for her necklace only to find it had been taken off. Panicking again until she saw her things, on a table at the edge of the bed. She scrambled to retrieve the robes she'd taken from the house in France. They smelled like James, of wood and cinnamon. She smiled and buried her fingers in the cloth as she looked for the necklace. It was on top of the passport from Peter Pettigrew. Lis touched the booklet hesitantly.

Peter had said if the adventure ever became too much, if anything went wrong, she should go back to the dock yard. He said she could run away. While it was cowardly to run, it seemed so much easier for Lis to leave than to stay and face the truth.

She swallowed because she knew that things were going terribly wrong at Hogwarts. Instead of having anything close to a family, she just had a dead girls memories on her mind. Feeling like she was going to throw up again, Lis pulled the robes on over her dressing gown. She reattached the necklace and grabbed the passport.

Her movement, although quiet, somehow woke James.

"What are you doing Lily?" he asked roughly, standing up from his chair.

He was calling her Lily.

It made her feel worse.

"Come on Lil," he whispered as she backed away from him, staring determinedly at the floor, "look at me."

Lis looked at him but only felt her heartstrings tug as she saw all the love reflected in his eyes. They shone like stars in the dark.

"I can't stay here." she told him, "I don't belong here."

He whispered, "You're wrong." in two steps he was on top of her, staring her down, "How did you know the truth about the bridge?"

"Professor McGonagall said it wasn't possible. You were in—"

"We lied." James narrowed his eyes and lowered his voice, "It was a _lie_."

"Go away James." Lis begged, exestuation sweeping through her, "I'm tired…Sirius should've never convinced me to do this."

James looked offended, "Look, Sirius is a git sometimes but were trying to help you..."

"This was one big mistake." Lis stepped away from him, her lip trembling, "I'm not her."

"Wait," he spoke, "Lis, you are Lily—if there's _any_ possible way on earth—"

"No." She dejectedly said, turning completely away.

"You are Lily." James demanded behind her, and Lis couldn't help holding back tears as she heard the pain in his demand.

Lis said with a strained voice as she reached the doors, "Stop pretending. It's over. Lily is dead. I'm leaving."

"No." he whispered dejectedly, "don't leave me again, _not like this._ "

A sob erupted through Lis and she pushed open the doors, finding her way through door after door in the castle until she found a room with a fireplace with the same dust that Remus had used to get them to Hogwarts. She imagined James was following, he was shouting her name. Rather, he was shouting Lily's name. She had managed to lose him, by taking a flight of stairs that moved at the last minute, forcing him to reroute.

James' determination to make her stay only made her more determined to get away.

Lis didn't want to live the life of a ghost.

Lis just wanted to live.

She chucked the magical dust into the fireplace, her body shaking with sobs, when someone stepped out of the shadows from one of the many bookcases lining the walls.

"Leaving so soon?"

Lis backed up against the corner of the fireplace, shuddering when she saw it was the same old woman from the office. The one who said Lily Evans was dead. She wore a nightcap and her hair was in a braid thrown over one shoulder. She looked concerned.

"I'm going back to France." she told the woman defiantly, as if daring the woman to stop her.

"I'm not stopping you." the woman sat down at a desk, staring at her with beady eyes.

Lily took a deep breath and stepped towards the fireplace.

"You know," the woman said, "I was admiring your necklace in the Hospital..."

Lis pulled back her toe from the fire and turned on the woman, grabbing her necklace, fingers sweeping over the carving of Hogwarts. The old woman smiled at Lis' sudden interest.

"You see," the old woman stood up and started coming fords Lily slowly, "It's odd that you should have such a perfect replica of this castle...if you have never been to this school."

Lis swallowed, "I was found with it."

The woman crossed her arms and nodded softly, "I've been at this school for a very long time." she pointed to the fireplace, "I've sat in front of this very fireplace many a nights. I like to think about the students that have crossed my path. Lily Evans was one of my favorite students. Lily Evans and James Potter were two of the best Head Students this school ever saw." she finally smiled and although the wrinkles on her face became more pronounced, she looked kinder. "You do look remarkably like her, you know."

"You said she was dead. Lily is dead." Lis whispered, not sure of her actions to leave anymore, feeling drawn back by the woman and her words.

"I love to be proven wrong." there was a sparkle in the woman's smile, "So prove me wrong."

Lis took two full steps away from the fireplace, "how?"

The woman shrugged, "I'm sure the other Professors and I can find a way to draw any lost memories out of you...and I will write for Professor Dumbledore. he's currently out of the country but he will be back before the start of term next week."

Lis paused then asked, "What changed your mind?"

Just then, James burst through the door, a look of relief written on his face when he noted Lis was with the old woman and hadn't disappeared behind sailing green flames.

"Oh thank Merlin." he mumbled, leaning against the door frame.

Embarrassed at being found after their dramatic exchange in the Hospital Wing, Lis looked at the floor. When she heard the old woman sigh and cluck her tongue she looked back up. The woman was smiling and turning her palm so it was facing the scarlet faced wizard in the doorway.

"Let's just say someone _really_ believes in you."

* * *

 **Next time:**

"This potion can help restore memories, as long as they were not lost due to a memory charm." Slughorn observed Lis over his desk, "You must take it once everyday for three days."

Lis couldn't help the nervous butterflies that seemed to erupt in her stomach as she reached across the desk and took the vial of potion from the mans trembling fingers.

* * *

 **Thanks for waiting for this update, as always.**

 **Don't worry, i have no intention of this becoming another abandoned WIP. Most of the story is already written. I simply have to go through and edit and add life into it.**

 **Thanks for all your sweet messages and reviews. I love all of you so much! Please don't forget to tell me how you liked this chapter!**

 **xxx**

 **petals**


	7. The Memories

**Chapter 6:**

 **my eyes are damp from the words you said**

 **ringing in my head**

 **when you broke my chest**

 **because if your in love then you are the lucky one.**

 **cause most of us are still bitter over someone**.

James was right of course, Professor McGonagall was a bit prickly. At one point that night, McGonagall had threatened to jinx James if he didn't leave Lis alone. Once he left (after promising Lis he'd be back the next day) Lis saw a small smile play on the old woman's features. Lis had a feeling James as a favorite student of hers. Lis was drawn to the witch and likewise, Minerva (as she requested Lis to call her) seemed to not want Lis to leave her sight. After convincing Lis not to leave Hogwarts for good, Minerva then convinced Lis to stay in her private rooms for the night.

Lis loved the private quarters as the room was covered in warm maroon tapestries and it smelled like ginger biscuits. She slept on a soft couch buried in sheep skin and velvet. Minerva woke her up the next morning with a small elf at her side. Lis thought that maybe she had seen an elf similar to it before so she smiled kindly as it passed her a tray of warm breakfast. Eggs steamed next to buttered toast and Lis couldn't help feeling a warm sense of caring as she took the plate.

Minerva asked immediately with concerned eyes, "Are you feeling better?"

Lis nodded and pulled her breakfast towards her so she could eat it still buried in blankets, "I'm alright, thank you."

"I've contacted Dumbledore and he'll be back as soon as he finishes his business." Minerva looked pointedly at the elf next, "Sandy please alert me as soon as Professor Dumbledore returns. I will be gone for most of the morning, but I'll be due back in the afternoon."

The elf nodded and bowed before disappearing. Lis was taken aback at it's sudden disappearance and dropped her toast. Blushing at her mistake, Lis quickly picked it up, brushing crumbs off the blanket.

Minerva eyed her knowingly, "James mentioned you were having trouble adjusting to—things."

Lis wrinkled her nose, "I got more than I bargained for when I followed Sirius and James out of the pub."

Minerva laughed for the first time they met and it made Lis feel comfortable again, "Yes, well." The Professor had a fond twinkle in her eye, "Most people get more than they bargained for when it comes to those two."

Silence overtook them as they both became lost in their thoughts. Lis ate her breakfast and watched as Minerva sat at a desk and wrote things down in a small leather bound book. The room was decorated with few pictures but Lis especially liked the one photo that showed a young Minerva flying on a broomstick. Lis imagined that she would like to try and fly a broomstick sometime. When she said something about it to Minerva, the woman smiled.

"Yes," she answered, "Lily loved to fly, she got detention in her first year for breaking into the broom shed to try."

Lis thought about it hard, but couldn't bring any memories of flying to her brain, "I don't remember that."

Minerva cleared her throat, "I spoke to a couple of the other Professors last night out of curiosity and one of them is particularly excited with the prospect of helping you get back memories you may have lost."

Lis perked up, "How?"

"Finish your breakfast and we'll go to the Potions classroom to see." Minerva commanded softly, going back to her book.

Lis did as she was told and finished every crumb on her plate. She discard the plate on a table by the place she sat and diligently waited for Minerva to finish her writing. She spotted another picture, this one stationary, of Minerva with a young man. Lis imagined he was a part of her family and started to ask when Minerva stood up and left the room. Lis stood up and folded the blankets, awaiting the Professor's return.

Minerva brought Lis a new pair of robes. The robes were a little long in the legs but they did the job, even though Lis would've much preferred a decent pair of trousers. It seemed that wizards had no need for a proper pair of slacks.

Lis brushed her hair back with her fingers as she followed Minerva around the maze-like hallways of the castle. Lis felt like she was a ghost, walking through memories of a dream. Her fingers brushed along cold stonewalls that were covered in tapestries she'd seen before. Her feet stepped down a staircase she swore could move. Minerva guided her to a hallway that led into the depths of the castle. The air became thicker and the darkness swirled around their feet. Lis reached for her necklace and took in a deep breath, smelling a sweet inscence as she did so. The scent was not what she expected from the depth of the castle that they had descended into. Lis breathed it in deeper and sighed with a smile.

 _Eucalyptus and lavender._

 _Lily loved the smell, Slughorn always had it burning early in the mornings. He said it calmed the air._

"In here."

Even though Minerva was pointing her through the proper door, Lis had a feeling she'd have picked that door first out of any of the thick wooden doors.

Lis peeked around the corner with interest and saw a fat old man. His hair was receding off his head and he had a nervous look on his face as Minerva and Lis entered the quaint study. Unlike Minerva's study, his study was covered in jars of picked juices and crazy artifacts. Pictures lay strewn around of face after face that Lis was unable to place. The man fiddled with a silver pocket watch and watched Lis step closer and closer with bulbous black eyes.

"Hello," he fumbled to stand up swiftly, but he rocked a bit from his bulging belly.

Lis felt immediately like she should care about the man. She had a feeling that his nervous because of her similarities to the girl she was trying to remember.

"This is Professor Slughorn." Minerva motioned to Lis to say hello.

"Hello," she reached out with a smile and shook his hand over the desk he had been sitting at moments before.

She saw his lower lip wiggle and she had a feeling he was struggling with the meeting.

Slughorn's eyes shot back to Minerva with raised eyebrows, "Dumbledore's going to have a hard time believing this one."

Minerva clucked her tongue, "Were you able to produce the potion we spoke about last night?"

Slughorn sat back down, "of course." He reached into his desk and pulled out a flask, shaking it.

Lis stepped forward eagerly folding her hands together, "You can help me?"

"This potion can help restore memories as long as they were not lost due to a memory charm."

"I do not believe it was a memory charm." Minerva said softly, "She has a lot going for her in the Lily department."

 _Except for the body found at the orphanage._ Lis was unable to not think to herself.

Slughorn observed Lis over his desk, "You must take 5mL," Slughorn pointed to a line on the bottle that repeated twice, "Take it once everyday for three days."

Lis couldn't help the nervous butterflies that seemed to erupt in her stomach as she reached across the desk and took the vial of potion from Slughorn's trembling fingers. They watched as she took the directed amount of potion, wincing at the bitter aftertaste it left in her mouth. Minerva seemed satisfied and put am arm around Lis' shoulders as the potion settled in Lis' stomach. Lis tucked the vial safely into her robes before smiling again at the man kindly. He was watching her with expectant eyes.

"Come along," Minerva said to Lis, "We must be going."

"Leaving so soon?" Slughorn looked sadder.

"I'm afraid Andrew is under the weather." Minerva spoke to Slughorn, "I want to see him before term starts."

"Of course," Slughorn nodded, knowing who Andrew was apparently, "Of course." he turned his black eyes onto Lis, "If you get bored, I'll be here the rest of the day."

As Lis prepared to leave with Minerva, her fingers brushing the handle to the door that led into the dark hallway, the Potions master cleared his throat. Lis turned to look at him inquisitively. He had a hopeful smile on his face.

"If you find Lily in that head of yours," he said kindly, "Tell her that I miss her company."

Lis was struck with the pain that Lily Evans had left behind more grieving souls than she could possible understand. the dark donjons felt even more desolate than they had before. Minerva was quiet as well while the pair walked up many flights of stairs and through many empty hallways. Lis got a glimpse of outside as they walked and saw that it appeared to be raining. Little droplets of water ran off each window they passed.

Minerva took Lis to a large library that had to take up a large portion of the castle. Lis twirled around admiring the shelves of books everywhere. Minerva showed her around the room quickly before introducing her to an young librarian wearing an eagle topped hat and bright pink robes.

"Stay on this floor of the castle," Minerva encouraged Lis, "I have to leave the castle for a bit, as my brother is unwell. I'll be back soon." Minerva turned to the old librarian, "Emma would you mind terribly keeping an eye on her?"

"Not at all." the librarian smiled, turning interested eyes on Lis.

Lis stepped through shelves and shelves of books related to magical theory. She didn't know if her head hurt from the potion she took or the amount of information her brain was registering. The librarian showed Lis all the school books Lily Evans had checked out as a student based on a record the library kept. Lis was especially interested in the charms books. It seemed like Lily loved them too as there were at least fifty of them checked out in the past. Lis settled under a window seat, burying her nose into book after book.

Rain pattered agains the window and time passed slowly. Sometimes the librarian would check up on her but Lis was fine, too stuck in the books to care about much else. Lis was reading up the theory of water origin charms when James Potter found her.

"There you are." his voice rang clearly through the stacks of books, making Lis looked up right away.

Lis smiled brightly at him, putting down her current book. She moved herself over to the edge of the window seat so he had a place to sit. He was wearing dark blue travel robes and his lower half appeared to be covered in mud from outside. He smelled like woods when he sat down and it was strangely soothing to Lis.

"And here I was worried you'd be bored when McGonagall mentioned leaving for a few hours." James continued teasing her, picking up one of the books and making a humored face when he saw it was charms.

"I'm reading all the books Lily ever checked out." Lis explained, crossing her legs and holding her chin in her hands.

James waved the book in the air playfully, "Lily checked out a whole book on Patronus charms?"

Suddenly, just the simple action of facing him in the window seat made her head spin. The book had a cloaked creature reaching out, like it was going to grab the person reading the book. Just the simple movement of adjusting her eyes to the book in his hands made her stomach roll and eyes glaze over. She felt like she was being thrown back into a weird time vortex.

 _Lily hated dementors._

 _She was terrified of vampires, frightened to snakes, and cautious of things that went bump in the night but nothing was like dementors. They drug up your fears. They pulled out your every fear from deep inside your brain. They tore at the fragment of your very soul._

 _Lily hated them and seeing dementors appear on the bridge at Hampton Court made her heart turn cold. Seeing children fall to the street in terror and not knowing what they were afraid of made her feet freeze to the floor. Seeing one of the creatures swoop towards her made her heart stop._

 _She remembered it clearly, the feeling of giving up. The feeling of sadness sweeping her entire body like she was getting doused in ice water. Lily regretted not reading that book she'd once checked out on patronus charms in seventh year. The charm was the only way to defeat a dement or and it was the only charm she could not produce full bodied. Lily almost lost her soul, had James not appeared and pulled her off the bridge into the icy and dank Thames. The freezing water shocked her body back into the ability to think. James reached for her shoulders, shouting to ask if she was okay._

James was shaking Lis's shoulders. His look of concern matched the memory. James was there sitting in the window seat with Lis but he was also in her minds eye...with Lily.

"Are you okay?' he asked with worry.

"Fine." she whispered, staring at him with horror in her face as she said so.

"You're lying." James whispered back, reaching out to caress her face lightly with two fingers.

She leaned away from his touch but that only made him more concerned.

Minerva has asked Lis just the day before about Hampton Court Bridge. It was like the entire question posed to Lis now made sense. She remembered everything, including the look on James Potter's face when he'd come running across the bridge, grabbing Lily, and pulling them both into the icy Thames.

James wasn't supposed to be with Lily that night. He was supposed to be on the other side of London. Dumbledore had specifically entrusted James in the protection of a woman that Voldemort had been after for information. James had left the woman and her children without second thought after he heard reports that Dementors were on Lily's side of the Thames.

Lis remembered the shouting match that had occurred afterwards. They'd fought for days on end at times, but never like that.

 _"Those children could've died!" she shouted, close to throwing her bottle of firewhisky at his head._

 _"I know!" he'd shouted back, fists curled in anger, "But I couldn't let you get your soul sucked out by a demon either, could I?!"_

James shook her in the window seat again but it was like the James in front of her was behind a curtain. It was like Lis was seeing him for the first time. Lily had some very vivid memories of the man who claimed to have cared about Lily.

"Hey, talk to me!" James snapped angrily, finally, reverting Lis back to the present.

"You left your post." Lis whispered, fingers curling around oe of the books at her side.

"Which post?" James asked stupidly.

Lis stared at him with confusion, "Hampton Court Bridge." she snapped, unable to deal with the fact that he just let out that he'd left plenty of post.

James winced, "What about it?" James was suddenly very interested in one of the books on ancient charm history.

"You lied to Dumbledore?" Lis sat up straight, "You saved Lily-that day."

James awkwardly pushed at his fridge and looked like he'd rather not being having that conversation, "Er."

Lis wrinkled her nose at him in disgust, "Why did you lie?"

James licked his lips and awkwardly stretched, staring out the window, "I should get-"

Lis motioned around them fiercely, "No one's here to hear you confess that you left a mother and her kids to die, James."

James rolled his eyes and swung his legs out from under him, "I didn't leave them to die, Merlin, Lily. What d'you take me for?" he glared at her for effect but his glare didn't even make her flinch.

"Why, James?" she demanded, "Why lie? Why did Lily lie?"

That was the part that bother her most. When people spoke of Lily, they spoke so highly of her. Lis didn't ever imagine the woman posed as a saint...could be a liar. James turned his head in surprise at her, as if he couldn't figure her out. Then he glanced around at the books to make sure they were really alone. Then his hazel eyes turned back to her.

"The potion's returning your memories now, isn't it?" he asked softly, but not without passion, "McGonagall wrote us to say you'd taken a potion from old Sluggy. It was supposed to work as long as there were no memory charms."

"Guess Lily's in here somewhere." She countered, poking him with her finger, "Now tell me why you lied."

James seemed almost hesitant, "Well we lied because it wasn't my first infraction against Dumbledore's orders." he raised his eyebrows, "Lily was trying to protect me."

"Protect you?" She scoffed haughtily, "The way I'm remembering it, you were getting on my nerves!"

"And you were getting on mine!" he scoffed back with a playful slap to her wrist, "Always asking where I was going or what I was up too. You couldn't just trust me!"

She had another memory swirl around in her thoughts of lonely nights by a dying fire. She could remember clearly a watching the clock go from two in the afternoon to three in the morning with no sign of James. She remembered nights alone in a cold bed when James never returned.

"You kept me waiting." Lis stood up, phasing only for a moment to realize that she was referring to herself as Lily now.

"You don't know everything!" he replied firmly, "I kept you in the dark for your protection." he reached for her hand but she pulled it away, "Everything I did or lied about was for my family and friends."

Lis turned away from him completely, thoughts and memories swirling around and making her head hurt. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on breathing right so she wouldn't pass out again. Her breath hitched in her throat when his arms suddenly wrapped around her from behind. It was all too much, too fast and she felt sick.

"Enough arguing." he mumbled into her ear, "You shouldn't be so focused on those memories. They aren't important. What's important is that you're safe now."

Lis opened her eyes and he was there at her side. He was so very James and he made all of her ache with confusion. Lily remembered another memory of his arms wrapped around her while he whispered words into her ear. She could practically feel his hands tracing the sides of her body as they were wrapped up in a dark alcove, enamored with each other.

It was the first time Lis had ever realized that getting her memories back had better happen quickly because the current slew of memories was making her palms sweat and heart race.

"I missed you so much," he continued, as Lis tried to find a way to breathe in his arms, "What are you thinking right now? Talk to me."

"I-I need air." Lis whispered tragically, ripping herself from his grasp and running before she could see the hurt look on his face.

Lis found solace in the damp potions room. Slughorn welcomed her back with open arms and started to teach her to brew simple potions. The brewing was actually helping calm her mind. As she stirred a calming drought, memories of Lily's past swirled into her mind. each memory was like unlocking a little part of herself.

 _The day she met a boy named Severus and he told her she was a witch. The day her sister tried to break her wand out of jealousy. The day her mother was diagnosed with cancer. The night that Sirius surprised her with chocolate cake after she lost her pet cat._

 _"I named you Lily, after your grandmother."_ Lily was told after tea in the garden with a sickly Ms. Evans.

Lis took a spoonful of the calming drought and her mind cleared a bit from the haze of memories returning. Slughorn seemed to sense her shakiness and offered to help her with her memories. He went into a back room and came out with a shoebox that turned out to be full of photos. He picked a specific one out and handed it to her. Lis felt her heart break at the sight.

Lily-Lis-she was having trouble deciphering it anymore. She didm;t know who she was or if the memories were real or just daydreams.

The red haired beauty in the photo stood next to a beaming Professor Slughorn. Her dress was pure gold and her eyes were pure happiness. A christmas tree with twinkling lights shone behind them and Lis remembered the moment as if it had been the night before.

"This was my last Christmas party." she reminisced sadly, "You surprised me with a new potions set."

Slughorn nodded, "You tried to have me return it." he put an arm around her warmly.

She smiled and laughed, water in her eyes, "It took you three days to get me to accept it."

Those words seemed to only encourage Slughorn and he got more photos to show her. He treated her like a daughter and constantly asked if she was alright or if she needed water. Lis couldn't help hugging him before he got another bag of pineapple for them to share. She thought she spotted a tear roll down his cheek.

Slughorn told her stories as she went through photos he handed her, describing party after party that Lily had attended as a student. Names of her friends swirled around in her head and pictures of faces were compared to pictures that Slughorn produced at lunch while they ate sandwiches. It was buried in pictures that Minerva found her. James wasn't too far behind, looking rather annoyed for some reason.

" _There_ you are-I told you to stay-"

"Minerva she was simply trying to rest her mind." Slughorn immediately jumped to defense, "the potion she is taking can be brutal to the mental health and needs constant supervision-"

"What's this?" James walked over to the box of pictures, taking a single photo out with two fingers despite Slughorn's protest.

James' eyes narrowed when he saw the photo and then he took himself a bit. James cleared his throat, getting the attention of both Minerva and Slughorn.

"It's not Lis fault." he said softly, "I pushed her too much. Forgot myself."

His fingers dropped the photo into Lis' lap and she saw what had made his demeanor turn soft. The picture James had picked up was one of Lily in black lacy dress robes. Lily wasn't alone, James stood with his arms wrapped around her like he'd been in the library. Slughorn was at their side and the pair in the photograph were laughing and waving while the pair in real life kept awkwardly away from each other.

"I'm sorry." James said directly to her, "I shouldn't have lied and I shouldn't have pushed you."

Lis could see that he meant it by the fierceness of his stare, "It's okay." she muttered, gripping the photo of them like she was never going to let it go.

Minerva cleared her throat, "I came to tell you that Professor Dumbledore has returned and is requesting to see you in his study."

"Sirius is up there now." James added, "So we'd best be on our way."

Lis jumped up quickly, excitement flooding her very core to meet the man who James and Sirius had brought her to meet. The walk to Dumbledore's study was long but slowly, they made it. The door was slightly cracked and McGongall slid in, to let Dumbledore know Lis was there. From the crack, Lis could hear the voices very clearly.

"Ah, here's Minerva, she can tell you that we have Lily on a potion to restore-" Sirius' voice was nervous and unsure.

"If this girl is Lily, should have some form of identification." A voice entered the conversation.

The voice was so cold and cruel Lis was taken aback. She looked at James in confusion. James stepped away from her and entered the room as well. Lis could see slightly into it.

"Ah, James Potter," the voice seemed unamused, "Back from France already? How are your parents?"

Lis was confused because she went to James' house in France and James told her that his parents were dead. The house itself looked like it hadn't been touched in years.

"We found Lily in France." James ignored the comment about his family, "She's right outside.."

Lis prepared to walk in, a bright smile on her face despite the troubling tone from the office.

"No."

Lis' hand slipped on the door.

"N-no?" James faltered.

"Mr. Black has already made it clear that the intentions here are not pure." the voice was demanding, angry even, "I trusted you boys with many things and you let me down. I cannot trust you with this or anything else. Lily is dead. We found a body in the ruins of the Orphanage."

"It's not real." James' voice was not level, Lis could tell he was angry, "Lily is alive and-"

"Go back to France, go back into hiding with your parents." the voice held no tone of sympathy, "You have no place in the Order anymore. Forgiveness can not be possible between us, you lied your way into trouble James Potter and I cannot condone actions that killed Lily Evans."

"I did not kill Lily." James shouted.

"You were spotted multiple times at that orphanage when you were supposed to be on other assignments for me. You got yourselves into trouble many time in the Order, this time you got yourselves into trouble that you can't escape. You and Mr. Black were seen in a pub convincing a young french woman to come with you to London." Dumbledore's voice never rose, it stayed disturbingly even.

"How'd you-" Sirius started.

"The pub you found that more girl in- _the one you are trying to trick into your con_ -is owned by a friend of my brothers. He heard you say my name, surprising to see it was two boys tricking a girl into coming to see me. Why? Were you hoping I'd welcome you back with open arms?"

Lis' hand flew up to her mouth in horror. Tear flicked in her eyes. _It had all been a trick?_

Sirius spoke up, "She's the real thing, Dumbledore. You've just got to meet her."

"Minerva please remove the boys from my castle."

"Albus I've had my doubts-" Minerva started, almost like she was going to defend Lis.

"No!" James shouted angrily and Lis winced, " _No_. She's the real thing you just have to meet her-"

Minerva pulled James from the office first and Lis stared at him in horror. He looked defeated and down hearted. Dumbledore's words had obviously stung. Minerva looked rather upset as well but she was holding her lips together firmly, not saying a word. Sirius came out, slamming the door in a fit of rage. Lis felt like her chest was falling in from the pain of what she'd just heard. James saw the look on her face and quickly rerouted his attention to only her.

"Li-"

" _Je vous ai fié_!"

Minerva quickly let go of James to stare at Lis in surprise, "She's _French_?"

"We found her in France." James argued quickly, "Of course she speaks French!"

Things were no longer adding up. Dumbledore had mentioned James' disappearances were the reason he could no longer be trusted. Dumbledore said James was at the orphanage Lily had disappeared at. James had been going there before the disappearance. Dumbledore must have thought James was the reason lily was dead.

Only she wasn't dead.

Lily was standing just outside Dumbeldore's office with a broken heart and memories that no longer made sense.

Sirius shouted, as she backed up trying to escape the nightmare. in front of her.

"Lily wait!"

James tried to grab Lis, "No, no, don't go. Don't leave me, again." He was begging. He was pleading.

"It was all a lie wasn't it?" She said with tears spilling onto her cheeks, "You used me? I was just a part of your plan to get his—his respect?"

"No! No, Lily no! Look, it wasn't that! I wasn't even looking for you, I just-"

"You used me!" She started feeling the wall for support as she tried to get away from the people staring at her with disbelief. James followed two steps at a time.

"No," Sirius denied, "From the moment I _met_ you, I knew there was something different about you. You are Lily Evans, you are!" Sirius looked just as upset as James, Minerva was knocking frantically on Dumbledore's office door.

" _L'arrêter, juste l'arrêter !"_ Lis yanked her arm from his grasp and pushed him away, "From the very start you both lied! And I—I not only believed you I actually—"

"Stop it," James continued begging, "Listen to me, Dumbledore doesn't know the whole story and I'll tell him...please don't go...Lily..."

"No!" Lis cried, "Go away!" she was sobbing hysterically, leaning against the wall, feeling all her hope crash to the floor.

It didn't matter if she was Lily Evans...it didn't matter...any of it. Lis knew now that her home-the place she'd been dreaming of for so long-no longer existed in this world of castles and magic.

"Lil, Lily, _please_ , Alexis was using you to get to me I never wanted-" James leaning over her, trying to talk to her and the name Alexis struck fear into her soul as she remembered a woman leaning over her similar to how James was now. The woman had been laughing cruelly her.

 _"You don't even remember me." the woman snarled, "You'll_ die _with no memories of your precious James Potter."_

"No!" Lis shouted, trying to erase the feeling of hopelessness, "I don't want to hear anything more about what I said or remembered! Just leave me alone _! S'il vous plaît juste me partir seul!_ "

"James," she heard Sirius try to reason, "There's no use..."

"Shut up, Sirius!" James shouted, "Now she can't even look at me!"

A new voice entered the shouting in the hallways, "Minerva take the boys away from the girl."

"Come on Potter." someone yanked James away from Lis' crouched form, "I'll hex you if I have too. Get to my office."

"No," Lis heard James struggled, "No she has to know the truth!"

"Lily!"

Lis couldn't even look up from her lap at his strangled yell as Minerva dragged James and Sirius away. The sobs that ripped through her throat and the tears that poured down her cheeks were a statement of her broken heart. Lis had nowhere to go, no one to trust. She was lost.

The voice from the office spoke, jolting Lis from her private session, "Look at me child."

Lis wrenched her face from her hands and stared into eyes as light as sky behind crescent shaped glasses. White eyebrows shot up in surprise as the blue eyes scanned her face, every inch of it, as if looking for flaws.

"Who are you?" he pondered.

"I was hoping you could tell me."

* * *

 **Next time:**

"You can call me Lily."

Sirius winced, "Look, "he hesitated, "I know you're pissed...rightfully so...but the Lily I knew wouldn't act like this."

"Yeah well," she threw him a pointed glare, "the Sirius _I_ knew wouldn't have tricked a poor lost girl in a pub into some stupid plan that did more harm than good."

* * *

to those wondering, there are only three more chapters! Thanks for the support and...as always...waiting for me to update!

xxx

Petals

leave me a nice note?


	8. The Goodbye

**Chapter 8:**

 **When you said your last goodbye**

 **I died a little bit inside**

 **I lay in tears in bed all night**

 **Alone without you by my side**

 **But if you loved me, why'd you leave me?**

Albus Dumbledore was not the man Lis expected. She had imagined a older man of course, but this man was ancient. His long white beard was reminiscent of Merlin and his blue eyes were striking with wrinkles of wisdom around the edges. He wore rich robes of purple that suggested a bit of amusement, despite his all-around importance. Dumbledore had passed her an embroidered handkerchief and he was waiting for her to stop crying.

Lis wasn't so sure of his silence or his piercing eyes.

They sat now in an office covered from head to toe in books, old artifacts, and magical devices that her brain could only dream about in her previous life. Lis frequently looked at the unique perch of a gorgeous bird with soft eyes and long golden feathers. She'd never seen a bird like it before. It was humming a soft tune as Albus Dumbledore observed her attentively.

"Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?" he asked her, decisively, after she'd placed down the handkerchief and was staring at the floor with mortification.

James and Sirius' betrayal had left her chagrined in the wake of what she'd done. She'd allowed two strangers to convince her of another life that she didn't belong too. The fact that she didn't belong didn't stop her from wanting to belong though.

Lis imagined she was insane for thinking she had any connections to Lily Evans. All those memories…they couldn't be real if no one believed in her. They were just stories her brain was making up. If Albus Dumbledore didn't believe in her—then who would?

Besides James of course.

He believed in her…but Lis couldn't believe in him and it broke her heart into thousands of pieces.

Lis looked up into the old man's face again. He didn't look unkind but there was a certain bit of intimidation that he gave off. She wasn't sure what to make of the man she'd traveled from France to see. Dumbledore gave her permission to speak with a slight tilt of her head.

The man sat on the edge of his desk, quite content despite the problem in front of him. Lis wallowed in the thought that Dumbledore had every right to throw her out of the castle and back onto the streets. He probably had every intention of telling her what she was not.

She was not Lily Evans.

She was not special.

She was just a lost girl who didn't matter—and never would.

"Who sent you to meet those boys in the pub."

Lis realized the real problem with those words. Dumbledore thought she was a spy, just as Sirius had thought when James had spotted her.

"No one sent me." She quickly explained, a fragment of hope erupting inside of her, "I went to the pub because I—" she paused.

What had drawn her into the pub?

She recalled walking the callous streets of France that fateful morning. She had almost walked past the building had it not been for the smell of something sweet that had triggered her memories, had the smell not drawn her mind into the building. She recalled the words that had come to her mind, the words that had been spoken by someone about butter and beer. She considered the feeling that overcame her but she couldn't explain what carried her feet into that building.

It was those weird feelings—those memories—that were making her head spin.

She spoke so softly she imagined the old man couldn't hear her, "I just was looking for something familiar I guess."

"What is your name." he didn't say it like a question, it was more demanding.

Lis shrugged, "They call me Lis."

"Who?"

Her eyes were watering faintly, "James. Sirius. The woman who took me in after I was found in France. She made the name herself actually, because she couldn't find any sign of identification on me."

"Who is this woman?" Dumbledore asked, evenly.

"Mistress Williams of Café Leben." Lis retorted earnestly, "I ran away from her because I wanted to find my family." Lis reached up to her neck and unhooked her necklace, "I've had this for as long as I can remember. It's what started all this."

Dumbledore looked startled when she handed over the landscape of the castle etched into the golden necklace. He took it with delicate hands; staring at it, then back again to Lis.

"Impossible." He murmured, staring down at her in wonder, "Where did you get this?"

"I was found with it." Lis said as she watched him take out his wand and point it at the jewelry, "It's the only thing I wore that wasn't completely destroyed, to be honest."

"Destroyed?" he seemed more and more surprised as she spoke.

Lis nodded, remembering the smoke filled reveries she had the past few months, "I was found wandering the streets with blood all over…bruises, scratches, and—that." She pointed at the necklace.

Dumbledore's' fist curled around the necklace, knuckles white, "I see why James was so convinced." He muttered, looking sorry as he pointed his wand down at her, "You make a perfect impression of Lily but I am no fool and will not be conned into thinking one of my only muggleborn Order members could still be alive." He said everything so evenly but it scared her half to death.

Lis swallowed, forcing herself to speak, "It wasn't a con—at least not to me. Please. I was just so lonely at the café and I kept thinking that there had to be someone out in this world that loved me…so when James and Sirius offered me the chance to come here…I took it." Tears were streaming down her face as she begged Dumbledore to understand. She was afraid for her life; "I've been chased by Death Eaters from here to France and back again. I've been lied too just as much as you. I just want to know if there's someone out there who loves m—"

She had to stop talking because Dumbledore swiftly waved the wand forward and she flinched in her chair. Then suddenly he leaned down next to her, his face twisted in confusion. She watched as his wand disappeared back into his clothes.

"What do you mean—you've been chased by Death Eaters?" he looked more perplexed.

Lis nodded swiftly, "I think they were Death Eaters—that's what James called them."

Dumbledore pushed his half moon glasses up his long nose, "James _knew_ he had Death Eaters tailing him?"

Lis nodded through her tears, "They attacked us on the train and then one of them tried to kill me onboard a ship. He was working for a woman that James knows about."

Dumbledore looked even more concerned, "What do you mean?"

"The man who attacked me said he was working under the orders of a woman named Alexis." Lis sniffed, "James knew her."

Dumbledore stood up and walked away to the other end of his office, like he was thinking. Lis sniffled in her chair, feeling more insignificant than ever. She didn't understand anything happening. She had no idea who Alexis was or why the woman wanted her dead. She had no idea who Dumbledore thought she was. She had no idea what was going to happen to James and Sirius. She also had no idea why she even cared.

She held onto the pictures in her mind that Slughorn had shown her, the pictures of a happy Lily Evans. She wished the pictures were real. She wished she had proof that she was that girl in the pictures. She wished more than anything in the world that she wasn't caught in the crossfire of the search for a dead girl that she desperately desired to be.

"You said the man was trying to kill you?" Dumbledore drew her out of her daydream.

She swallowed then spoke, "Yes. James saved me." Her words came out strangled as she remembered just how panicked James had become when she'd been caught under the wand of the man on the boat.

Dumbledore stroked his white beard, "Do you want to know what's strange?" he asked Lis and when she didn't answer he continued almost as if he was speaking to himself, "We found her body." Lis didn't know how to respond so she just stared at him, "We found her body and Julie McKarthy had proof—in the form of the remainder of this necklace." He held up the gold necklace and it glowed in the light from the windows.

There were more pieces to the necklace?

And then Lis remembered it like it had been yesterday.

 _Lily sat in the chair smiling at Dumbledore sympathetically, "You don't have to worry Albus." She said kindly, "I'm alright, I'll miss my parents…of course I will…but I have—" that's when Lily's voice faltered because she had been about to say that she'd have James._

 _But she didn't have James anymore._

 _Dumbledore knew who she was thinking about and helped her stand up so he could give her a hug, "Do not worry." He derided playfully, "I worry about you being alone. Broken hearts are never settled if there is no closure."_

 _Lily struggled to not cry in front of her old mentor so she simply buried her face into his robes and breathed softly, trying not to think about the fact that James had left her in England without so much of a goodbye. Dumbledore drew back and wiped a single tear from her cheek. She smiled at him and then he reached into his pocket, pulling out a beautiful golden locket. The circular charm was etched on the outside with a phoenix and when he opened it before her eyes it showed a beautiful realistic etching of Hogwarts._

 _Lily wept as she held out her hands to take it, "It's lovely,"_

Another memory from the past.

It had to be real.

Dumbledore had to believe that there was a chance that Lily Evans was sitting in front of him. He wouldn't have spoken to her this long if he didn't have a shred of hope. Lis had to take the chance that James and Sirius hadn't led her wholly in the wrong direction. She had to belong somewhere, and everything was pointing to the castle. Everything was pointing to Lily Evans.

Lis absorbed her new memory before taking the chance, "It's not quite as lovely without the phoenix, is it?"

Dumbledore dropped the necklace on the floor in surprise, taking a few steps towards her. The phoenix had long stopped humming its song on its perch. Lis realized she knew exactly what the bird was now. Lis also knew that the old man in front of he was just as terrified as she was. She could read it on his face and it broke her heart to know.

She stood up, pressing a hand to her mouth as she realized it was all true. Every little bit of it. She was Lily Evans and everyone had thought she was dead. Everyone had believed she'd been killed in the line of duty.

And James had taken the secret that he'd been at the orphanage with him to her grave—until she'd been resurrected in front of his eyes at the pub in France.

Dumbledore bent down to pick up the necklace again, fingering it fondly.

"I gave this too you." He spoke in amazement, "Only a few months before you disappeared." She stepped closer as he did and he placed a hand on her cheek, "You're alive." He sounded so relieved and Lis couldn't help the fact that her heart was striking over and over in her body like a bell tower.

Lis gripped the handkerchief tentatively, "You believe I'm her?" she whispered with hope.

"I think," Dumbledore sincerely stared into her face, "That I need to speak with this Mistress Williams and have one more meeting with those boys."  
Dumbledore hugged her tightly and it felt so...strange...but it was all she wanted. Lis awkwardly hugged him back, tears falling from her eyes as she realized that this was it—it was the end—Lily Evans had found her family.

It wasn't exactly the happy ending she'd been expecting though, because even with Albus Dumbledore at her side—she felt more alone than ever.

 **~~~So if you loved me, why'd you leave me ~~~**

Lily stayed with Slughorn while Dumbledore left Hogwarts before the start of term to speak with Mistress Williams. He returned with little to no information. The old café owner had apparently already moved on from Lily's absence and had no new intelligence except that she had found Lily wandering around muttering about being lost and needing help. Dumbledore had called James and Sirius back to his office, Lily heard Slughorn talking to Professor McGonagall about it when they thought she was getting ingredients alone in the cupboard.

"He seemed alright with it." Lily heard McGonagall say, "but we both know how reckless they both were."

"But only Black took the offer?" Slughorn seemed surprised.

"Potter seems content with his current choices." McGonagall said conclusively.

Lily struggled to know what they had been talking about. She wondered why James so satisfied—when Lily was dealing with a broken heart that never healed.

Now that she'd been on the potion for three days, Lily's memories were coming back full and strong. It was like being in a constant state of confusion though and Lily struggled with what was real and what was not real. Coincidentally, her time as Lis had given her a new ability to speak French but other than that new talent Lily just felt like—Lily. Sometimes memories would come back fuzzy, like they had been covered by a screen, but by the last day of the potion Lily Evans was alive and Lis was dead.

There were still some memories that she struggled to get. Memories of the night at the orphanage, for example, had been blinded by smoke and waves of mental exhaustion. Slughorn had a theory that she struggled with that night the most because it had been where the forgetfulness had transpired.

The only thing she could remember was seeing James' face and being so shocked. James had left her—ran away to France after being kicked out of the Order for endangering lives. He'd gone into hiding with his parents. He wasn't supposed to be there at the orphanage. Lily was sure that no one in the Order still knew he had been there when she'd been investigating.

She thought about confronting him but the thought of seeing James still made her feel nauseous.

And then James had found her in the castle; he'd found her in the library buried in books again. He'd tried to speak with her. He'd begged her to just look at him. Lily had dutifully blocked his face and cast a silencing charm his way. She hoped it was as permanent at her grief with him.

James Potter had left Lily alone in England with no explanation and then shown up months later in an orphanage that he wasn't supposed to be at.

She'd still wondered why Dumbledore kept them around—she assumed for more answers but as far as she knew James and Sirius were forgiven for their actions because it had brought Lily back alive. Lily didn't know if she could ever forgive James for her heartbreak. She had loved him so much that when he left her, Lily's heart was broken and she was never able to get over it.

She wanted to speak to him, to ask him why he acted that way, but she was so shattered she didn't know how to speak to him at the moment. She imagined one day she'd be able to get answers from him but for now she didn't want answers. She just wanted to get her life back in order.

They weren't the same anymore.

Sirius hadn't changed much. James had obviously told Sirius of Lily's actions in the library because he tried to corner her that afternoon when she'd been visiting Remus Lupin for tea. Remus had forced Sirius to leave at wand point.

She remembered Sirius now too. She remembered the times they ganged up on James and the time he took her flying on his motorbike. She remembered his laugh and how it felt to have someone so loyal be at her side. Sirius had been one of the bright lights in her life. He had always been there for tea and he had always helped her work through her trouble. He had always given the best advice—even if he couldn't always follow his own advice. Lily loved him like a brother and despite his actions while she was Lis, Lily missed him.

Sirius found her in the potions room one day when she was setting up the classroom. The students were due to return in the morning and Lily had offered to help Slughorn. She was putting up cauldrons at every desk when he walked in, unnoticed. It wasn't until he spoke that she looked up from her job.

"We had so many great times in this classroom together." Lily shot up in surprise, her heart beating at the speed of light. Sirius touched the desk in the back, "This is where we sat when I dared you to turn James' hair pink."

Lily tried not to smile and she remembered that too. She was determined to never forgive Sirius for what he had done to Lis and Lily, despite her heart aching for his warmth back in her life again. She made herself look back down at the cauldron she was setting up. From under eyelashes she saw Sirius step forward quickly.

"Why'd you ignore James, Lis—"

Lily snapped, "You can call me Lily."

Sirius winced, "I know you're pissed…rightfully so…but the Lily I know wouldn't act like this."

"Yeah well," She threw him a pointed glare, "The Sirius I knew wouldn't have tricked a poor lost girl in a pub into some stupid plan that did more harm than good."

Her words seemed to hurt because he sat down at the desk and stared at her with great sadness, "You always saw the best in me." He smirked, "Didn't you?"

"I guess I was naive." She whispered, staring away from him, trying not to look him in the eyes.

"You were _never_ naïve." Sirius supposed back, "You were always just kind."

Lily bit her lip and struggled not to cry in front of him. She couldn't bring herself to cry near any of them because she didn't want their pity. Sirius' voice wobbled like he was emotional too.

"I am sorry for what I wanted to do. I was just desperate." Sirius sounded forlorn, "France was eating James alive. I couldn't _live_ with him like that, Lily. His parents needed him. _I_ needed him. We were at the pub because I was trying to get him to go back home to his parents."

"He parents?" Lily's eyes shot up from looking at the floor in shock, "They're okay?"

Lily remembered James telling Lis in France that his parents were dead. Now that Lily had her memories back she knew that James' parents had dragon pox and were deathly ill. Rumors had circulated the Order that when James and Sirius were kicked out that James went to France with his parents to hide out from Death Eaters. Sirius looked hopeful at her sudden interest.

"Mia and Fleamont are still here in England." Sirius told her kindly, and Lily smiled happily, knowing the Potter's were alive. Sirius added quickly, "They've missed you coming around for tea."

Lily sat dawn at the desk in disbelief. Euphemia Potter loved their little cottage in France and had always invited Lily and James to visit when they were enjoying the countryside but when they'd contracted dragon pox the visits to France stopped and hospice cared for the old and ailing couple. James had lied about that as well, because his parents were here in England. James had never gone to France with his parents. James had gone to France alone.

"Why did he lie?" Lily whisper.

Sirius smiled sadly, "You know James…he had to protect everyone close to him. By letting the rumors circulate that he was hiding in France with his family it would draw any Death Eaters away from his England home and more importantly—the truth."

Lily wallowed in this information, unsure of how to take it. Somewhere to her left Sirius stood up.

"I just came to tell you that the idea to use Lis as a replacement—to help get us back to England…" Lily looked up and Sirius had his back to her, head hung low, "That idea was all me."

Lily clasped her hand to the necklace around her neck, "Not James?"

"James only went along with it because as much as he'd hate to admit it," Sirius finally looked up at her and when their eyes met she saw great sadness, "he never fully gave up on you. Not like I did. And I am sorry. I know you probably don't want to hear any of this but I love you and I miss you."

Sirius left her alone in the potions classroom, and in hindsight, Lily wished she had ran to him and wrapped her around him for comfort because the memories tangled up in her head were lonely and hurtful and the sadness swallowed her whole.

Because term was staring, Dumbledore suggested Lily go back to her flat. It was still there, on the corner of an old muggle street covered in ferns and willow trees. Rent bills had piled up since she'd been away and an eviction notice dated back to three months before. Dumbledore had Remus Lupin help her get her life in the apartment back in order.

Remus was her favorite person to be with. He was kind and considerate, never asking her to remember him, despite her remembering him clearly. They had both suffered in the past year; she could see that he didn't do well without Sirius or James. When she commented that he looked worse for wear, he told her that he wouldn't bother her with her issues if she'd leave his alone too.

After Remus helped her convince the landlord to understand she'd had to go last minute to help her ailing mother (that's the story they told) and she'd paid off her mounting bills with Dumbledore's help…a key to old life was finally back in her hands.

The old apartments plants were overgrown and dying on countertops. An old cauldron sat on a stove and was next to an old pot covered in what appeared to be mold. Lily wrinkled her nose and drew out her wand to start cleaning immediately. Remus helped by throwing out the dead plants, placing protection spells around the flat, and sorting through old mail. Lily charmed the dishes to clean themselves so she could sweep and dust and try and get her life back in order.

The work did her some good as it kept her mind off the nagging feeling that she was feeling unsafe. That night, she begged Remus to stay with her, so she wouldn't be alone. He slept on her couch and when she woke up he had made her breakfast with a note saying he'd be back later that afternoon once he was done errands.

Lily decided to go through some boxes in her closet but stopped when she found letters and pictures from James. In order to get her mind off the boy she went to Hogwarts to try and brew potions, if Slughorn would let her. Hogwarts was a different scene now that students were back. The hallways were loud and everyone was lively and jaunty. Just walking through the gates reminded Lily of how happy she was when term started up again at Hogwarts.

She was walking towards the classrooms when she saw them. James was wearing a traveling cloak and had his wand out. He was talking in hushed tones to Professor McGonagall outside of the transfiguration classroom. Professor McGonagall looked unconvinced at whatever he was telling her. Lily inched herself closer to listen into their conversation.

"You should take his offer." Professor McGonagall seemed disappointed with whatever James had told her.

"I took his gratitude." James uttered indignantly, "but he has nothing else he can give me that I can willingly accept."

"Young man, I have known you since you were eleven years old." McGonagall chastised, "You won't be happy. You are lying to yourself. Do you think you parents would like your change of mind?"

"It was more like a change of heart." James stated humbly, "I don't want to stay here, not like this."

"You'll find running away from your fears doesn't mean you won't still have them. Fear has a way of following you no matter where you try to hide."

Lily stared at James, bewildered. What was he so afraid of?

McGonagall had spotted Lily and nodded in her direction.

James turned quickly and his face went bright red as soon as he saw her. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked like he hadn't slept a wink. Lily cleared her throat.

"Hello James." She said cordially.

"Hello." he managed to get out, as he seemed to be more focused at looking just beyond Lily's shoulder.

"James was just with Professor Dumbledore," McGonagall looked between the couple with knowing in her sharp eyes, "They were discussing the terms of his dismissal."

Lily couldn't help the jump in her stomach when he finally looked at her in the eyes. He looked like he wanted to tell her something but she couldn't figure out why he was acting like…like he was saying goodbye this time.

She blinked coolly, "did you finish talking with Dumbledore then?"

Lily already knew before he said anything to her. He was going to leave again and this time he was going to give Lily the goodbye she'd been so desperate for all those months before. McGonagall cleared her throat.

James exchanged a glance with McGonagall before considering Lily again, "I did." he cleared his throat, "Are you happy?"

"I am." She drew herself up, even though her eyes looked down, "Are you?" she glanced back up and saw he was still staring at her, passion evident in his eyes.

"James." McGonagall's voice warned softly when she saw the fierce look in his eyes.

"Please." James held up a hand to the old woman and stared directly into Lily's eyes, hardly blinking, "I'm glad you found what you were looking for."

"I'm glad you did too." She lied, trying to keep her eyes steady.

James' hazel eyes gleamed behind his glasses and Lily's throat felt tight as he held out a hand to Professor McGonagall. She had pursed lips as she took his hand and shook it before surprising everyone when she hugged him tightly and whispered something Lily couldn't hear in his ear. James ignored whatever McGonagall told him and

"Well then, goodbye." he took one last look at her, lingering his hand next to hers for a moment long enough for her to want him to grab it but then he just kept walking.

James Potter walked away, right back out of her life.

Professor McGonagall spoke, "He was always marching to the beat of his own drum, Lily. Life in the Order was too structured for him."

"I know." She whispered, holding onto her necklace as she struggled not to cry.

McGonagall put a hand on her shoulder, "I must go teach this class, and perhaps you should go see Slughorn for some calming drought."

"I'm fine." Lily spoke again as she stared after James' retreating form with great sadness filling her chest.

She still loved him too.

* * *

 **Next time:**

"Where did he go?"

"Back to France." Sirius seemed confused with her sudden interest to find James, "He thought time away would be beneficial."

Lily fell back against the neighboring wall, clutching her heart. James was walking right back into another trap.

* * *

 **Okayyyyy! I'm back! Only one more finger has to heal, thank god. So I can type! I hope you enjoyed this crazy feels inducing chapter. These next few chapters are pretty challenging to write and still give the characters justice without making it seem right out of a Disney movie happy ending. I look forward to sharing the last bit of the story with you.**

 **Leave me something sweet?**

 **xxx**

 **petals**


	9. The Rat

**I don't think fanfiction told you guys when I updated chapter 8 last week because it was a replacement of a chapter technically. So page back and make sure you've read chapter eight or you are going to be very confused!**

* * *

 **Chapter 9:**

 **It's obvious you're meant for me**  
 **Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly**  
 **Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep**  
 **But I'll never show it on my face**

 **But we know this, we got a love that is hopeless**

Her old apartment is covered in memories. Everything was a memory: Books that were read on cloudy days; clothes worn on first dates and funerals; letters from a certain black haired boy with spectacles. A small radio that had been set on a channel that only played if it was sunny and nothing could block the signal. Old school essays were piled in a trunk with her old school uniforms that she still fit into.

"It's like waking up from a dream sometimes." She illuminates to Slughorn over tea one night, "and I wonder what's real and what's not because there's not always someone there to explain why things are the way they are."

Lily spends her afternoons submerged in her past while trying to build up her dreams, plans, and old ambitions. She wanted to go see her sister soon, even though her sister probably hardly even noticed Lily had stopped writing letters.

So far Lily had taken up planting plants in the kitchen again and the walls had been painted a bright new blue. The freezer was always stocked with her favorite treats. The fireplace was always crackling a lovely warm glow persistently.

Lily just tried to live and yet she still felt as alone as Lis ever felt in France.

Order of the Phoenix meetings were every two days so as to keep everyone in the loop. They were located in different localities to throw off trackers and help the traveling Ministry workers working under Dumbledore. Lily attends each and every meeting even though she never feels like she's much help anymore. She's not allowed to go on any fieldwork because they aren't sure if any of the people who had been trying to kill her in France were still trying.

It's while spending time at Marlene McKinnon's old flat after a particularly stressful meeting that Lily is met by Sirius Black for the first time since their argument in the potions classroom. She was standoffish and sitting in the corner, waiting for her friend Emmaline to say she was ready to leave.

"Hello Lily." He offered her a earnest smile.

Lily crossed her legs and stared at him respectfully, unsure of what she could possibly say to him. She noticed he was looking less grungy than he had in recent months. He wore a new leather jacket that smelled of motor oil when he knelt down on the floor beside her. He was playing with the keys to whatever vehicle he'd driven to the meetings. Lily saw one of the key chains was of a paw print.

She'd bought him that.

"Hello Sirius." She replied civilly, "You were accepted back into the Order then?"

She wondered about James but presumed he was staying far away from her because he couldn't look her in the eyes like Sirius could. She pulled at a thread on her dress and tried to ignore the fact that he wore a smile that had often only been reserved for his very best friends.

"How are you?" he asked avoiding her question that was so obviously true, he was treating her like she was about a deer about to flee.

"I'm alright." She said, not untruthfully because she was all right…most of the time.

"Look," he started, "I know you have every right to hate me forever—"

"I don't hate you." She sighed, looking over at him alarmed.

Sirius swallowed and looked like he was about to say more when Emmaline Vance interrupted them. She was a bit older than Lily and she often wore old cardigans that were tattered and frayed. Emmaline was discreet and soft spoken, often buried in her own mind and not concerned with those around her. Either way, Lily liked her best of all the Order members because she seemed to take Lily's care into more consideration than others.

Dumbledore had assigned Emmaline to Lily as her main protection detail until he felt it was safe for Lily to be alone. Emmaline had taken the task whole-heartedly and treated Lily like her daughter.

Even now, the woman stared at Sirius with bugged out eyes and Sirius stood up and away from Lily like he'd been held at wand point. Lily stood up too and exchanged a glance with Emmaline.

"It's alight," Lily told the woman pleasantly, "He wasn't bothering me." Lily regarded Sirius with heavy eyes, "I don't hate you." She repeated, "I just don't forgive you."

Something in his grey eyes flickered and it made her heart drop. She stepped forward to join Emmaline's movement for the door only Sirius grabbed her wrist and she whipped around to tell him off but Emma beat her too it by pushing her wand tip into his neck aggressively. Sirius let go of Lily's hand like a snake bit him. Sirius looked livid, he kept his lips pressed together as he glared at Emmaline.

Sirius assumed evenly, "You still don't trust me."

"Not with my life." Emmaline snapped menacingly, "You're the reason she's like this."

"I'm the reason she's _home_."

"Give me one reason to turn you into a toad, I beg you."

Sirius winked, "Come now Vance, we both know _you'd_ be the prettier toad."

Lily sighed deeply; Sirius had never known when to shut up. Emma lunged for him just as Remus Lupin appeared, jumping in-between the pair, wand raised, and eyes threatening.

"Let's all just calm down." His voice was composed and his grey eyes fell on Lily, "Before someone gets hurt."

"I could take her with my eyes closed." Sirius snapped, eyes flashing at Emmaline.

"No one doubts your dueling skills Padfoot." Remus muttered with a roll of his eyes, "Go get some air."

Sirius begrudgingly walked away, glancing back at Lily once more but she steadily held her ground at Remus' side. Remus lowered his wand and observed Emmaline's flared nostrils and heated eyes.

"Emma perhaps you should take Lily home." Remus suggested and Emmaline seemed to right herself at her words but her face was still bright red.

Come on, Lily." She repeated, taking Lily's hand and dragging her from the house without time to spare.

Emmaline was fuming, her eyes flashing as they walked to the place where they were designated to dissapperate to Lily's flat. Lily struggled to keep up with the gait Emmaline was keeping.

"Honestly, Emmaline," Lily tried to calm her friend down, "It's fine. Sirius is always like this when he's done something wrong—we used to joke he—"

"He thought he could just waltz in here and everything would be the same," she muttered bitterly and ignoring Lily, "at least Potter had enough sense."

Lily fell back a step in surprise at James' name in that way.

"What do you mean?"

Lily struggled to keep up with Emmaline as they crossed the front yard to the sidewalk.

Emmaline stopped in front of the barrier and rolled her eyes at Lily, "I just hate that Dumbledore thinks it's possible to forgive and forget when I think about what you've been through—" she snorted indignantly, "I'm glad only Sirius was stupid enough to join again."

Lily swallowed thickly, "James isn't in the Order?"

" _He ever really fully gave up on you, not like me."_

Sirius' words replayed in her head like a broken record and she froze in the middle of the yard clutching her necklace. James hadn't joined the Order. Where was he? Lily panicked wondering if he was safe. His face lit up in her mind and she felt sick to her stomach.

 _Lily opened her eyes and no longer saw James' surprised face surrounded by smoke. She only saw the face of a woman with stark white blonde hair and closed eyes. Her head ached and the witch wasn't anyone Lily had ever seen before. She remembered the witch knew James, but how? A wand lay inches away from Lily's fingers and they stretched to get them. The woman at her side groaned and her eyes opened to see Lily's reaching for the wand._

 _Lily lunged for the wand quickly but the woman grabbed onto her at last minute._

"Lily are you okay?"

Lily lifted her hands off her face and shook her head. Her head was pounding. That memory was brand new and Lily didn't know where it had come from. Emmaline seemed to realize she was starting to upset Lily and the witch quickly backtracked.

"Never mind." She said thoughtfully, "Let's go."

Emmaline stayed to make some tea for Lily once they returned to the flat. Lily wrote down the memory on a napkin and stared at the words until her head hurt from replaying the memory over and over. She wanted to remember more because she was certain the memory was from the time after Lily but before Lis.

The girls sat in silence until Lily cleared her throat.

"So, Dumbledore offered James and Sirius a place back in the Order?"

Emmaline looked apprehensive to talk to Lily about specifics after the way Lily had been acting on the McKinnon's lawn but none-the-less she answered, "I was there when he pardoned them both."

"I'm sure that James and Sirius were quite thrilled to be returning to the Order." Lily fished for answers about James, not even bothering to touch the tea Emmaline had made.

Emma rewarded Lily with a tidbit of information, "Well," she stared at her teacup, like she was deciding if she could keep talking, "Sirius was at least." Emma flashed her eyes at Lily, to gauge her reaction to this news.

Lily bit her lip and stared at the table, "So…James—"

"Is less of an arse than Sirius Black in the end." Emmaline murmured while reaching over to clasp Lily's hand.

Lily smiling in thanks at Emmaline, who seemed to know exactly what Lily was thinking about. Emmaline pulled the napkin over with her other hand and read Lily's written down memory. Her forehead was creased with lines before she even finished reading it.

"What's this?" she asked, letting go of Lily's hand so she could hold the piece of memory with both hands.

Lily signaled her lack of knowledge with a short shrug of her shoulders, "A memory I can't place."

Emmaline's eyes tightened, "You don't know what this is from?"

Lily shook her head, "No."

"You're quiet now." Emmaline said, "Did it upset you?"

Lily shook her head again; "It's more that I was wondering if James told Dumbledore he was in the Orphanage the night I disappeared."

Instead of brushing Lily's question aside Emmaline made a face like she knew that answer. Emma sipped her tea and put down Lily's memory, pointedly not looking at Lily. The clock struck ten in the background and Lily wondered if Emmaline was going to leave based on the time but Emmaline stayed planted in her seat.

"How much did James tell you when you were dating?" Emmaline asked off handedly, staring at Lily from over the rim of her tea.

"He was rather secretive." Lily's voice faltered, "We fought all the time over him disappearing for days…"

Emma clucked her tongue and understood; "Of course."

"Please tell me what's bothering you, Emma." Lily begged, "Please."

Lily was ready for any new information that might help piece together what happened before Lily became Lis and every moment after. Emma didn't answer and Lily dropped her head into her hands, trying not to cry.

Emma placed down her cup and leaned in, whispering even though they were the only ones in the apartment, "Look, I was a part of the team who investigated your disappearance, Lily."

Lily peered out from behind fingers, seeing Emma's tortured face.

"I'm only telling you this because I think you should know everything that I know."

"And what do you know?" Lily asked, her eyes watering.

"I did some digging for information when you first disappeared." Emmaline droned on, "Do you remember why Dumbledore asked you to go to the Orphanage that night?"

Lily nodded; Dumbledore had been receiving reports of kids being stolen in the middle of the night. Neighbors had been waking up to crying and mysterious figures in front of the building in the middle of the night. The old landlord was a man who was known to sympathize with muggles. Lily had gone to simply investigate. She wasn't supposed to be in the Orphanage for long but when she'd gotten there the landlord was dead by what appeared to be a killing curse.

Lily remembered running through the building that had mysteriously started burning. She remembered the screams of children. She remembered running after a child that was likely dead now. She remembered running into James and being surprised to see him there after months of no contact.

"Didn't you ever wonder why James was there that night?" Emmaline inquired, "Why he was there right when the place went up in flames? At first I thought he was the fire starter, at first I thought he was a culprit in the entire ordeal."

Lily shook her head in her hands, knowing that couldn't be the answer. Dumbledore definitely wouldn't have offered the boys amnesty if James was a real killer. Emmaline was fingering the edges of her cardigan when Lily peered at her again through her fingers.

"I was wrong, I found out later, once I talked to one of the only kids from the orphanage that survived. The kid told me James often came to visit and then kids would disappear, all their belongings with them. The kid told me he didn't know where James took them; only that one of the more recent disappearances had said something about taking a boat out of the country so he'd be safe.

"What was I _supposed_ to think?" Emmaline muttered those words more to herself, "Dumbledore was told your body was found. I couldn't help but think that after leaving the Order, James had turned sides and started saving his own arse by hand delivering half bloods and muggle borns to the Death Eaters."

Lily swallowed and now she felt as though her heart was breaking.

"Someone really must've wanted me dead." Lily said faintly, "To frame my death."

Emmaline seemed to be struggling to finish what she'd started, "They finally properly ID'd that body, you know. It was one of the orphans, burnt to a crisp and left with a fragment of your necklace as a hoax."

Lily braced her hands on boths sides of her chair as she tried not to sob as she realized so much pain and suffering had happened since she'd been away. Why had she needed to die? Lily stared at the napkin of words again and wiped her cheek when tears started flowing freely. Emmaline was crying too, dotting her eyes with her cardigan.

"Of course," Emmaline continued with a lighter air despite the tears on her face, "We know now that James was innocent. You see, James told Dumbledore he'd been sneaking around trying to evacuate half bloods and muggeborns within the orphanage."

"James was trying to help those kids?" Lily whispered, "Alone?"

"Oh, he had help." Emmaline snorted mirthlessly, "I found evidence that Sirius Black had been covering James' missions for the order. Remus Lupin came to me right after you disappeared and admitted to covering for James when he disappeared. I even traced fake passports back to a cetain Mr. Peter Pettigrew."

Lily furrowed her brows, "Why did they have to hide they were sneaking muggleborns out of the country?" she questioned irately, "I would've helped!"

Emmaline tilted her head, "I expect it's because of those snatchers."

"What's snatcher?" Lily enquired with curiosity.

"A wizard or a witch who works for a wealthy collector." At Lily's confused look Emmaline elaborated, "They're hired to catch runaway or hiding half bloods and muggleborns."

"And I couldn't help because of them?" Lily asked indignantly, "Because they'd try to snatch me?"

"It's likely." Emmaline retorted, standing up so she could take their dishes to the sink, "Didn't James leave his post one night just because he heard you might be in trouble?"

Lily mused that Emmaline was correct. James had always been super protective of those he loved most. He was always keeping what mattered most away from anything dangerous but then just threw himself into the danger instead.

It made Lily's skin crawl to think of what he was doing now.

"Why didn't he tell me?" she asked thickly.

"I was hoping he did actually, because that would make the next thing I have to tell you less painful." Emmaline said, her back turned to the sink.

"What?" Lily's fists curled around the napkin with the memory on it.

"The night you disappeared…" she paused "That night, James wasn't even supposed to be at the Orphanage."

Lily looked up completely now, swinging her head to look at Emmaline in shock, "He wasn't?"

Emmaline shook her head, "I found a letter from an untagged owl in James' old flat telling him the orphanage was going to be burned if he didn't show up that night." Emma looked sad; "James must've gone to check on the children that night."

"They weren't being stolen," Lily reveled, sitting back in her chair as the memories of all these occurrences came flooding to the front of her brain, "They were being taken across the boarders for safety by James."

Emma nodded, "And someone found out that the Orphanage was James' trade point. That's why the orphanage was attacked. That's why James was there that night. James was tricked into going so that someone could kill him..."

 _"They're looking for someone Lily,"_

Frank's words from that night vibrated through her head like chains clanging on a gate over and over. They were looking for someone. Lily had foolishly thought they'd been looking for a muggleborn child but they'd been looking for James. All along they'd led James into a trap and tragically, Lily had fallen into the same trap.

"There was a flaw in their plan to kill James Potter of course." Emma said from the sink, turning on the water and letting the sound absorb the silence in the flat, "You got caught in the crossfire."

Lily swallowed thickly. A woman's voice in her head, a French accent thick with hate, made it's way into Lily's head.

 _"Come on Potter," the captor scrambled against Lily's fighting, "You want to help muggles? You can help this one by joining us."_

Another memory happened immediately after, set off by the first.

 _The woman was laughing; her blond hair was covered in blood, making her look madder than before. She clutched her arm, dripping with blood that splattered all over her robes._

" _You'll die with no memories of your precious James Potter."_

It chilled Lily to the bone as she realized that the woman was the same one as from the memory she'd wrote on the napkin. A name popped into her head.

Alexis.

It had always been Alexis.

The woman in the orphanage.

The woman sending people to kill them on their way to England.

Who was she though? Lily Evans hadn't known Alexis until that night. Where did she fit into James' untold story? There was one more unnerving fact that made Lily's throat dry and scratchy…Alexis had thought she was a muggle.

"You were never supposed to be the one to die…" Emmaline was talking to more herself than Lily now, washing the dirty dishes, "it was all to kill James and his evacuation efforts…"

Emma thought Lily was quiet from all the information but Lily was quiet because yet again she'd discovered a plot hole in the stories she was being told. If Alexis had sent people after Lily and the boys all the way back to England than she knew Lily was alive. If Alexis knew that Lily was alive, that meant that Alexis knew that the girl she'd taken hostage in the orphanage wasn't a muggle.

But in the Orphanage, when Lily had been grabbed Alexis had believed Lily to be one of the muggles. Alexis hadn't had any idea who Lily was connected too or who Lily loved.

Alexis had the key to the memories between disappearing from the orphanage and Lily becoming Lis.

Lily had to talk to James. He'd been the last one to see her. He knew everything. He had too. She waited patiently for Emmaline to fall asleep on the couch, slipping a sleeping drought into Emmaline's last cup of tea had been easier once Emmaline was certain Lily was just as tired as she was. Lily felt bad for deceiving her friend, but Emmaline wasn't supposed to let Lily go anywhere alone. Lily left her a note, apologizing and explaining she was going to find James. The old flat where she'd spent many a night was buried in central London, not to far from the Ministry of Magic entrance on the west side. James' parents had suggested he get the older flat so he could be closer to them. Lily knew he hoped to sell it once his aprents were gone and move to the country. James hated the city as much as Lily did.

She walked up to the big front door and pounded her first against it, shouting his name, only James didn't open the door. She leaned against it and gasped in shock when it was ripped open in surprise.  
"What the Hell are you doing out here alone?!" it wasn't James yelling at her, it was Sirius

Lily whipped around and let out a breath of relief at seeing someone's face she knew. He was glaring at her angrily and looked like he was about to start yelling again so she glared at him back.

"Where's James?" she asked.

"Not here." Sirius said, as if stating the obvious, glowering at her from the doorway.

She made a aggravated noise and Sirius just started at her with puzzlement.

"Why the Hell did you and James lie to me?" she demanded, finally, needing someone to shout at.

"Merlin, Evans." Sirius moaned, grabbing her arm, "Get in here before someone strike you down." And he pulled her into the old flat, shutting the door behind them.

It smelled like pine needles and cinnamon. A pure smell that made Lily feel warm inside just as she smelled it because it was all James. She looked Sirius in the eyes as he scowled down at her.

She ignored him, "Why the Hell were you and James sneaking kids out of the country and not telling me?"

Sirius recoiled, "I'm guessing James didn't write you like he said he would?"

"Of course not!" Lily hollered, "I'm here to get answers from him so—"

"Stop shouting!" he barked back, "We'd been trying to get Dumbledore to consider fighting snatchers for ages." Sirius had his hands up in defense of Lily's attack, "James and Peter were working to smuggle the kids out into France where James had set up family friends to take the kids in until the war here was over."

"James and Peter?" Lily asked, suddenly disorganized with her information again, "Not you and Remus?"

"Remus and I covered for James when it came to the Order…but Peter and James didn't really need our help." Sirius leaned against the wall and observed her with cool grey eyes, "James got the kids to the ships and Peter works the docks so he was able to get the kids out safely without snatchers catching on."

"What's with these snatchers?" Lily continued pressing him for the information he was so ready and willing to give her.

"Alexis is what the Ministry calls a snatcher." Sirius explained slowly, "She worked for dark wizards to catch muggleborns trying to hide or run away. James hated snatchers."

Lily remembered one night when James came home after a brawl at the pub, he'd mentioned hating how people were disappearing. Lily had assumed he was upset because he was worried she'd have to one day run away from the war. There had always been more to it than that.

"James never told you because he didn't want to worry you more." Sirius shrugged, "He's always been that way, you know him."

"Getting into fights in the hallway if anyone offended him or his friends is much different than chasing dark wizards." Lily muttered angrily, leaning against the wall next to Sirius.

He chuckled darkly, "Life is a classroom, Lily. James is still fighting in the hallways, the hallways just got bigger and the kids just got older."

"Who is Alexis?" Lily asked quietly, thoughts of bullies circling her brain.

Sirius sighed, "Well, we're not quite sure, but she's definitely a snatcher. Or was. Based on what my brother said on that train I think she might be on the inner circle of Death Eaters now."

"Why was she at the orphanage?" Lily pressed Sirius.

"As far as James understood, Alexis had found out what he'd been doing and started to try and block off his ability to send muggeborns to France for protection. She even got a few of the kids…James almost broke down and told you then…it was right after he almost lost you to the dementors."

All of this information coming together made Lily's last few months before her disappearance make so much more sense. All the times James disappeared. Why James was so busy trying to keep Lily safe and out of harms way…because he'd been suffering so much loss and he was trying to make up for it.

"I would've helped. I could've helped." Lily whispered, "You all know I would've supported him."

"James was getting into trouble with Dumbledore because of the number of times he had to sneak kids out. Parents started finding him in the streets, begging him to help sneak their kids out through the Orphanage." Sirius reached over and touched her shoulder softly, "He wasn't about to have you lose your safety just because a bitch over in France was trying to undermine his rescue efforts."

"Why keep it a secret?" Lily asked, her heart breaking at all the nights James had returned from his secret missions and she'd shouted at him. She'd yelled at him to stop leaving her with no notes, no reason, nothing.

"Because Alexis was tracking his every move. He didn't want to give her any reason to need to go after you. Or his parents. Me. Remus." Sirius listed off everyone in James' life.

Everyone James tried so hard to protect except one vital person…

"But Peter was alright." Lily derided, pushing herself off the wall and looking at Sirius.

"Peter offered to help James." Sirius reasoned, "He offered about a month after James confessed to us what he'd been doing. It was all Pete's choice and Peter helping James made it safer for James—despite Alexis' spies all over."

Sirius let his hand trail down to hers and his fingers brushed against her fingers. She spun to look at him with blurred eyes. His form was shifting due to the tears in her eyes and she felt like everything they'd once had was crumpled on the floor but Sirius giving her all the answers was helping her. He was trying to repair what he'd broken. She couldn't stay angry with him when she knew he knew that he'd been wrong.

"Why was Alexis trying to get the kids?" she whispered, staring into his eyes.

Sirius shrugged, "James thinks she was snatching some of the kids and sending them to get their wands snapped by purebloods…probably tortured. Why does Voldemort do what he does?" he took her steady look as an invitation to hug her, wrapping his arms around her as if to try and calm her down, "Lily, James was trying to protect you."

Lily rolled her eyes but buried her nose into his leather jacket, "And almost got himself killed. Does he realize that? How was Alexis able to do it?" Lily asked, "Emmaline said Order intelligence found proof in a letter from an untrack-able owl that James had been led to the orphanage that night. He wasn't supposed to be there."

Sirius shrugged, "I'm not sure their information is right, James had written me beforehand saying he was going to the Orphanage to check up on Old Man Thimble because Peter told James he heard Alexis found the orphanage."

Lily pulled away from his hug and started piecing together his words in her mind. Something was wrong. Something didn't add up. Why was there a owl in one story…and word of mouth in James' story?

"How did Alexis find the orphanage?" Lily asked quietly.

"Well—" and Sirius faltered, "I don't know." He answered truthfully.

Lily thought out loud, pacing back and forth in the small dark hallway, "Alexis had all the right information to lead her to James. Alexis sometimes got to some the children Peter was transporting out of the country. There had to be a spy somewhere in the midst. Someone who knew the exact boats James was sneaking on, someone who operated alongside the children—"

"Fuck." Sirius reached around to grab Lily's shoulder, his eyes wide with fear.

Sirius and Lily figured out the rat at the same time.

"Peter?" she whispered back, "Peter's the double crosser?"

Sirius shook his head in disbelief, "Alexis' father worked the docks at one point, Peter said he'd known the man."

"What if he also knew Alexis?" Lily whispered, "What if he was passing her information about smuggled children? What if he told her about an orphanage? What if he told her we were on the ferry back to France—"

And what if Peter Pettigrew knew exactly where James Potter was at this very moment?

"Of course she knew we were on our way back to England with you in tow…and that's how we were attacked!" Sirius was fuming and his fists curled, "I'm gonna kill him." He ranted, pushing her out of the way so he could grab a coat, "What a two-faced bastard."

"Sirius!" Lily grabbed onto his arm, trying to get him to finish talking before he went on a murderous rampage, "Where did he go?"

"Who?" Sirius questioned, blood thirst in his eyes.

"James!" she shouted vividly.

"Back to France." Sirius seemed confused with her sudden interest to find James, "He loves that house you know he always goes there when-"

Lily fell back against the neighboring wall, clutching her heart.

"Did he tell Peter where he was going?" Lily demanded, "Did James say anything to Peter?"

"Yes." Sirius whispered hauntingly, finally realizing what Lily was getting at.

James was walking right back into another trap.

* * *

 **Hello, yes, hi! My hands are healed! Kinda. My ring finger is forever screwed. But I guess that's what I get. My future husband will just have to deal. I can type again, casts be damned.**

 **I hope you enjoyed the last two chapters! There is only one more to go! Review and tell me what you are most excited for! Or what you loved about the last two chapters!**

 **Next time:**

"No amnesia to help you this time. No James Potter to protect you." Alexis snarled pointing her wand down at Lily's body, "Not this time."

"Want to bet?" a new voice chimed in.

Suddenly Alexis was thrown into the wall of the house, slamming against the brick with a surprising crunch. Lily lifted her head and saw a figure in a cloak standing there with his wand pointed at their attacker. His eyes were glowing defiantly as he pulled his hood down and showed his face.

Lily's heart stopped, "James."


	10. At The Beginning

**Chapter 10:**

 **We were strangers, starting out on a journey**

 **Never dreaming, what we'd have to go through**

 **Now here we are, I'm suddenly standing**

 **At the beginning with you**

 **No one told me I was going to find you**

 **Unexpected, what you did to my heart**

 **When I lost hope, you were there to remind me**

 **This is the start...**

Lily gripped her robes like the fabric was an anchor holding her to the spot in the hallway that Sirius had left her in. Her eyes were closed, she was holding onto herself for dear life, not daring to open her eyes. Peter had betrayed all of them. James was in more danger now than ever. Sirius had mentioned a mirror to contact James or Remus. The time was precious as Sirius quickly raced off into the depths of the flat, yelling at Lily to stay put. Lily was panicking too much in order to comprehend the voices coming from wherever Sirius was hiding.

"Breathe," Sirius had told her, even though he could see the panic in her eyes, "We need to wait for back up. We need to find out exactly where he is."

Lily had scoffed, James could be dead by the time back up came.

Lily opened her eyes and felt her heart drop to the floor. James could be dead. Lily couldn't live with herself if anything happened to him. She loved him and she wasn't about to let him face one more attack from Alexis alone. Sirius was arguing with someone, she could hear his voice rising angrily.

Lily could slip away unnoticed if she left now.

Lily knew she'd hear about it later (if she wasn't killed) but she couldn't wait. Alexis knew Lily Evans was alive and remembered her past life. Alexis knew Lily remembered James. Alexis knew where James was hiding away; trying to protect everyone he loved again.

She grabbed the handle to the front door and wrenched it open. As she spun in her spot on the doorframe she heard Sirius yell her name with conviction. He was telling her to stay put but she couldn't, not with James out there alone. She closed her eyes again as her body disappeared from the flat.

The Potter house rose in front of her when she opened her eyes. The old ivy clung to the walls and Lily spotted one of Mrs. Potter's old pair of boots resting beside the front door. Mr. Potter had an old wooden rocking horse that he'd made for James beside the fountain out front. Little details Lis hadn't noticed when Sirius and James had brought her to the old house in France, but they were little details that Lily knew all too well.

Lily's eyes quickly scanned the area of the house and saw nothing out of place. Snow had started falling, covering the grass in a light coating of white dust. Silence was piercing the air. Lily took one step forward towards the house. Her fist was wrapped so tightly around her wand that she was sure her fingers would be imprinted by her handle design forever.

"James!" she called apprehensively, her hair blew slightly in her face and she wiped it back dramatically and with great frustration.

Where was he?

The house looked empty. There was no sign of movement from the inside and there were no footsteps that Lily could make out. Lily raced up the steps, her knocks falling on the solid door in panic.

"James, it's Lily!" she cried, "Open the door!"

But he wasn't there. It struck Lily that perhaps, this time James had been a bit smarter. This time, James had lied to _everyone_. He had purposely told everyone he was going back to France so that if someone came looking (like Alexis) they would be at a loss. Lily swallowed and let her fingertips fall from the door handle.

He'd left her for good this time.

Lily turned away from the door in remorse. She was pulling her hood over her head and trying to control the tears threatening to fall as she went back to the sidewalk. It was right before she was about to dissapparate when her eyes caught movement by the postbox. A woman stood still as a cement wall, like a lioness about to pounce on its prey. Her flaxen hair was chopped short now but Lily recognized those eyes from her dreams and memories.

The same piercing blue eyes that had threatened Lily, looked upon her now with great hatred. It was Alexis and she looked angry. Lily reached quickly for her wand that she'd foolishly put away and shivers were sent up Lily's spine when the woman spoke.

" _Bonjour_."

Lily slashed her wand through the air in Alexis' direction with great haste but the woman deflected Lily's foolish hex with a defense charm. Lily swallowed and held her wand to at the ready. She was foolish to think that she'd get to James before this woman did. Lily watched in horror as Alexis stepped closer and faster to where she held her ground.

"Where is your boyfriend, Evans?" the woman hissed menacingly, in French.

Lily slashed another hex. Alexis blocked it and stepped closer.

"He's not here." Lily said firmly in English, "Leave me be."

Alexis' eyes widened, " _Oui_." And then she switched to English, "I've been waiting two days for him to appear. Instead I get you as a consolation prize, again."

She let her wand drop in a left arch and Lily was thrown forward towards the wicked witch by magic. Lily covered her mouth in terror when she hit the ground and her wand went flying out of her reach. Lily struggled to get up but Alexis threw another spell, making Lily's body freeze. Alexis sneered and stepped towards Lily, her blue eyes were devilish.

"I see you are back to speaking English." Alexis eyed Lily's misplaced wand, "And back to holding a wand."

"You should see what I could do when I have a wand." Lily spat, glaring up at Alexis' form.

Alexis laughed cynically and held up her disheveled arm where a hand was missing, "I'm very aware of what you are capable of, mudblood."

Shock erupted in Lily's stomach, "I didn't do—" Lily started to argue but Alexis flung her wand forward and Lily slid along the ground like she'd been pushed by strong winds.

Unluckily for Alexis Lily was able to grab her wand from the momentum and she quickly aimed it from the ground, up at Alexis' neck. Lily swung her wand in a protective arc, sending up a shield charm just as Alexis tried to jinx her and the jinx backfired. Alexis bounced back and fell to the ground, panting and scowling at Lily.

She growled, "Look what a few months has done to us, _fleur_. The last time we stood in front of this house you were dying and now you're back to the woman I thought was good as dead."

"The house." Lily whispered, eyes widening and looking around in awe, "Of course."

 _The person holding Lily captive amidst the flames spoke in a clear female voice with a strange accent Lily couldn't place._

 _"Come on Potter," the captor scrambled against Lily's strong fighting, "You want to help muggles? You can help this one by joining us."_

 _James looked torn up as Lily struggled to escape her captor who held a wand to Lily's cheek with a free hand that wasn't curled around Lily's throat. Lily could hear the mysterious person breathing heavily in her ear. James opened his mouth to finally speak just as the cracking came from above. Lily let her eyes finally lift from James' face and saw the ceiling burning bright with flames above. Whatever child had been screaming upstairs couldn't be alive any longer._

 _The cracking continued. The building no longer had a fighting chance._

 _"Get out!" Lily heard someone behind the three wizards shout, "The building! It's falling!"_

 _Above the two witches, the ceiling was cracking and beams started to fall. In fear of losing her life, the captor tried to disapperate with Lily in tow. Lily cried out as a burning beam hit her head and scorching heat touched her neck. The pain was blinding and Lily's vision went white._

 _A feeling of great pressure was forced upon Lily's body and she felt the captor let go of her neck. Lily's feet touched soft ground and when she opened her eyes woods surrounded her. Grass and leaves crunched at her feet._

 _Where was she? Lily knew she wasn't safe._

 _She had to get to someplace no one knew about but someone could still find her at. Lily tried to walk and then grabbed her head in agony._

 _"Ouch!"_

 _Her head was pounding and she couldn't think right. How did she get to the woods? Why was she covered in blood? She needed to go find someone to help and her mind filtered to James. James would help her. Lily forced her legs to move and she took two small steps._

 _She remembered James' favorite cottage in France where his mother invited her for evening tea whenever they were on Holiday. James loved it because it reminded him of what he loved most: his family. Lily hoped he would think to look for her there._

 _Lily needed her wand. She searched her pockets to find it was missing. Lily bit her lip and looked around, gasping when she saw the woman collapsed on the ground moaning and gripping her arm._

 _"Are you hurt?" Lily asked, squinting from the ache in her head._

 _"Qui es-tu?" The woman looked up in surprise to see Lily standing there over her hunched body._

 _Lily was swaying a bit from the pressure in her head. Lily felt like throwing up as she eyed the woman and realized that where her right hand had been, was now a stub of bloody flesh. Lily's hand flew to her mouth in disbelief. The woman clutched her bleeding arm, snarling, as she advanced on Lily. Lily stood there wheezing, her head tender from the compression of the wood hitting her head before they'd disapperated. Behind the woman there was a large house rising into the sky, darkness swirling around it. At Lily's feet was the woman's wand and Lily felt her stomach convulse at the sight of the woman's wand still clutched in the splinched hand that was surrounded by a pool of blood._

 _Lily's eyes flashed between the darkness of the house; the sinister look of the woman; and the dismembered hand clenching the ticket to Lily's escape._

 _The woman rushed at Lily, seemingly knowing what Lily would try._

 _The woman ripped the wand from her splinched hand and pointed it at Lily. The woman made a motion for Lily to stay put. Lily stopped dead in her tracks._

 _"T'petite_ _salope!"_

 _Lily backed up against a close tree, staring at the woman in horror. The woman was panting, her bleached hair falling into her eyes as she observed Lily with every manner of dislike.  
"Who are you?" Lily enquired quickly, "Where are we? What do you want?"_

 _Lily was wandless seeing as James had picked up her wand. Why had James picked up her wand? Lily was struggling to recall how she'd gotten into the mess she was in. She needed James to give her back her wand._

 _But where was he?_

 _Lily whimpered and said James' name softly, like a prayer._

 _"Potter," the woman spat in English this time, "You both know each other?" the woman crept forward on her knees._

 _"No." Lily begged, staring at the woman with panic._

 _"Oui." The woman's eyes sparkled, "Didn't I hear your name clear as day?" and then she said a word Lily understood, "Lily." She smirked when Lily began shaking her head back and forth._

 _"I don't know him."_

 _She was scared._

 _She had no idea where she was; the woods seemed to be closing in on her. She felt disoriented. It was like her mind was turning to mush and her legs were turning to jelly._

 _"You're that girl aren't you?" The strange lady was still gripping her arm, "The one who Pettigrew was talking about. The one Potter was doing all of it for. His petite fleur." The woman spat her name like it was a bad taste in her mouth, "Lily."_

 _Lily stared at the woman, mouth agape. Her eyes shifted and saw the woman was bleeding from her wrist. Lily covered her mouth in horror as she realized the woman was missing a hand. How did that happen?_

 _"What do you—what happened to your arm?"_

 _The woman seemed to pause, confusion shone brightly in her eyes._

 _Lily dug her fingernails into the tree, staring around her in alarm. She had to get away. Her eyes zeroed in on the wand._

 _"Let me go." Lily warned, hoping she didn't sound as terrified as she felt._

 _"No." the woman's eyes glittered, "I'm going to kill you and then I'm going to kill him."_

 _Why did this woman want to kill her? And who was the boy the woman was talking about? The witch laughed when Lily began crying, shaking her head madly._

 _"No!" Lily bawled, "Please!"_

 _The woman laughed, "Were you both in love? It's shame I'll have to deliver the news of your death to him myself."_

 _The woman snapped her wand in Lily's direction and Lily lunged away and towards the woman, all at once. She reached for the wand, trying to wrestle it from the woman. Spells shot out of the wand. Lily wasn't sure if she was casting them or the woman was casting them. Lily knew the only way to get over the brawl was to try and get away again._

 _Determination made Lily rip the wand from the woman's hand by prying apart jail-locked fingers. She waved the wand in the precise way but the woman grabbed onto her again._

 _Once again their bodies were forced through a great tube but Lily struggled against the woman's hold ripping and tearing at her body. She was screaming at the woman to let go. Then the apparition was complete and the pair lay in front of an old wooden door._

 _The wooden door was carved with vines and Lily knew she had made it to the old cottage in France. Her head was aching and her body felt like she'd dropped fifty feet from a broomstick. She reached for the handle and was shocked when she saw her hand was covered in scarlet blood. Her stomach rolled and she looked around for the source of the blood._

 _She hadn't shaken off the mad woman. Lily screamed and stood up, barely making it off the porch before falling and clutching her head. Everything was swirling and she felt disgusting, covered in blood._

 _How had it even gotten there?_

 _Then the woman was towering over her, looking insane, with wide blue eyes and blood soaked robes._

 _"Give me my wand, mudblood." The woman snarled, ripping the wand from Lily's all—too-willing hand._

 _"No, no, no," Lily mumbled, crushing her hands against her head, "Please."_

 _"I'm going to kill you."_

 _"I don't even know you!" she cried, covering her head with her hands, "Please!"_

 _"You did this too me," spit flew from the woman's mouth as she showed Lily her missing hand, "You and James Potter."_

 _"I don't even know who that is," she begged, crying, "Please, have mercy. I don't even know where I am!"_

 _"You apparated us here!" the woman shouted, "You know!"_

 _"No," she was a crumbled mess on the floor, "Please, help me! My head aches! I'm lost! Help me!"_

 _The woman surveyed her in bewilderment for a second._

 _Her mind was blank, full of confusion. She had no idea where she was. She didn't know why she was covered in blood or why there was a strange woman hovered over her. She curled up into the fetal position and cried for help._

 _Who was she?_

 _Where was she?_

 _Why was she crying?_

 _"You don't remember anything." The woman looked delighted, "You've gone mad!" The woman was laughing; her blond hair was covered in blood, making her look crazier than the girl on the street felt. The woman clutched her arm, dripping with blood that splattered all over her robes._

 _"You'll die with no memories of your precious James Potter."_

 _The world, once so bright and vivid, went black._

Lily swallowed, her throat tight with the revelation. Alexis stood up again and pointed her wand at Lily's chest. Alexis had been splinched and Lily had lost her memories. They'd both been damaged beyond repair that night.

Lily stared at Alexis in wonder. "You didn't kill me." Lily whispered, "You didn't kill me."

Alexis was advancing on her, "I must say, I didn't think I'd have to worry about you when I left. Apparently I was very wrong."

Lily remembered feeling like she was going to die as she lay on the street staring at the sky. Visions of scarlet blaring in her eyes were all she could really remember but she remembered the feeling of being lost. She remembered Mistress Williams finding her and screaming, before dropping a weeks worth of eggs in the streets. Lily recalled every moment since that moment she'd been found because it had led her right back to where the fight had started.

"Do you remember pleading for me not to kill you?" Alexis taunted, "So much for being a brave fighter."

Lily sent a hex and Alexis blocked it easily.

"I remember." Lily snarled, pushing her hair back and standing in a way that would make shielding spells simpler.

"I figured it didn't matter if you were dead or alive since your memories were gone." Alexis brandished her wand sloppily as she looked Lily up and down, "As far as anyone was concerned Lily Evans was dead and your death stopped James Potter from his foolish mission to try and rescue the mudblood children." Alexis stopped twirling her wand to stare defiantly at Lily, "Of course, then I heard the rumor—that fate had brought you and Potter back together again."

She shot two curses at Lily but Lily blocked them while shouting, "I am _not_ afraid of you."

"I can fix that!" she laughed sharply, "Time to pay you back for my hand, Evans."

Lily raised her wand just in time to defend herself from the hexes sent her way. Charm after charm exploded in front of Lily's face as she battled the witch that was laughing hysterically in front of her. Alexis was chanting a song as she casted spell after spell in Lily's direction until finally, Lily's shield charms defaulted and she was knocked into the icy ground again. Alexis cheered triumphantly.

"No amnesia to help you this time. No James Potter to protect you." Alexis snarled pointing her wand down at Lily's body, "Not this time."

"Want to bet?" a new voice chimed in.

Suddenly Alexis was thrown into the wall of the house, slamming against the brick with a unanticipated crunch. Lily lifted her head and saw a figure in a cloak standing there with his wand pointed at their attacker. His eyes were glowing defiantly as he pulled his hood down and showed his face.

"Alright, Evans?" James Potter sent her a simper of a grin that made her ehart soar.

" _James_." Lily's smile could've lit up the entire street.

 _He was alive._

Alexis sat up quickly and started sending spells like wildfire in James' direction. Lily shot up and searched the ground for her mislaid wand. It had rolled ten meters away and she scrambled to get it. James and Alexis was blasting holes in the old cottage, both aiming to kill.

"You really ought to have let your girlfriend handle this for you again, Potter!" Alexis chimed playfully, "She handled it so well the last time!"

Her teasing only seemed to infuriate James more. The vein in his temple was throbbing and his glasses were sliding down the tip of his nose as he concentrated. He pushed back by slashing his wand in the air twice, causing the ground to shake with a defining boom as the dirt in front of the duelers exploded. Snow, dirt, and leaves swirled around the dueling pair and Lily lost sight of James and Alexis.

Lily's heart stopped, "James!"

James' voice didn't come from the dust storm and Lily dug her heels into the ground, "No _!_ James, are you alright? _êtes-vous d'accord? Où es-tu?_!"

Lily rushed forward into the dust cloud. The dirt and snow was staring to settle and Lily saw James' slimmer shape rushing into the Potter's old cottage though an open door. She followed without even thinking twice while sending stunners over her shoulder, praying that they hit their mark.

The dark hallway loomed in front of her. The staircase was to her left and the hallway that led to the tearoom was on her right. She spotted no sign of James among the outdated portraits, alongside the suits of armor, or even next to an old dragon statue.

"James!" She shouted his name in panic again, not seeing him anywhere.

A hand grabbed her shoulder from behind roughly. Lily spun to attack Alexis when she saw it was James, eyes wide with panic that mimicked her own.

"Lily!" he snapped, pulling her up the staircase without thinking twice, "What are you doing here?!"

"I came to warn you—" she answered.

"Warn me?" he had the audacity to laugh as they ran upstairs hand in hand, "I was coming to warn you!"

Lily paused mid step, "Warn me?"

"Sirius had gotten ahold of me—but you'd already left." James said rapidly.

"I was worried she'd find you!" Lily argued.

"I was never here, I was with mum and dad!" he added as an afterthought, "I don't know what Sirius was thinking, leaving you alone. You never were a patient one."

" _Nous allons jouer les enfants_!" Alexis' voice called out eerily through the cottage and James yanked Lily the rest of the way up the stairs and threw them behind a bedroom door.

They leaned against the doorframe listening to each other wheeze. Lily was still gripping his hand, never wanting to let it go.

"I was going to yell at you." Lily thought outloud.

"I'm sure." James looked over at her, smiling a stupid grin that made her knees go weak, "Your still mad but I'm honestly just still thankful you're alive." At her frown he brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it tenderly, observing her over his glasses.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered, "I never thought it'd come to this."

"It was Peter, he was a snitch."

James looked remorseful and pressed his wand hand against her cheek lovingly.

She thought that if she looked away from his hazel eyes they might go back to before and that he might disappear again. Lily's heart couldn't possibly take another goodbye from him. Something blew up from the hallway and James winced against her hold on his face.

"My mum will kill me if this place gets destroyed." James lamented.

"I think she might not care if you tell her the whole story." Lily reasoned into his ear and he chuckled at her humor appreciatively.

"I've missed you," he reached up to touch her cheek once again, "And I love you."

Lily breathed in deeply as he leaned down to place his lips onto hers like he'd done so many times before their fighting, before Lis, and before Alexis. He caressed her cheek and let his hands drift into her hair before pulling away and standing upright and proud. It was too short a kiss to be a standard kiss from a normally shameless James.

Then James shouted loud enough for people in America to hear, "Come on, Alexis, and stop playing games."

The witch laughed from down the stairs when James announced his hiding spot so loudly. She knew where they were now. Lily heard her footsteps come rushing up stairs, sending curse after curse that rebounded off the walls. James opened the door to the bedroom, wand aloft.

"What are you doing? " Lily asked, yanking his arse back away from the doorframe and pulling at his robes to drag him behind the protection of the door, " _mon Dieu_ , James. She'll kill you."

"She can't kill me." James said confidently, kissing her forehead.

"You're an idiot." Lily rolled her eyes.

"But I'm your idiot." He just laughed just as Alexis appeared at the top of the staircase, a mad look in her eyes as she shouted spells in French.

"And you aren't facing her alone."

Lily stood up tall beside James, eyes flashing as they positioned themselves for an attack. Alexis spit out spells, aiming directly for Lily but James was sending objects flying in the way of the spells as he pushed them back towards the other bedrooms at the end of the hall. Lily backed up slowly, her eyes trained on Alexis as she threw up shield charms with each step. James was cursing as he let portraits fly off the wall. Lily couldn't help smiling as he cleverly said each family member's name as they blew up from the jinx's that Alexis was sending their way.

Lily hollered a warning when she noticed James' foot catching the wrong way on the carpet but it wasn't enough time. He fell to the ground and Lily shrieked and shifted her steps to run forward towards him—and Alexis.

Alexis' eyes sparkled humorlessly and her wand went form aiming at Lily to pointing at James. James was fumbling around on the floor for his wand, which had been knocked towards Alexis during his fall. The smile on Alexis' face as she drew up and over James was repulsive.

" _Incarcerus_!" Lily hollered but Alexis blocked her spell before throwing James' entire body against the wall.

Lily heard the sickening crunch of bone against plaster and she winced as James' body fell slack onto the floor. She took two steps towards the blonde woman but was forced to brace herself as she was also thrown back and into a cabinet. Potions fell from the shelves and shattered all around her, some of them burning holes into the carpet. Lily scowled and attempted to stand up, avoiding the unknown content from the potions that littered the floor.

Alexis was settled over James with a vindictive grin and Lily saw James was struggling to move. James looked back to make eye contact with Lily, almost like he was apologizing. Lily gave him a slight shake of her head, _what had she done?_

Before Lily could make it to James a body came hurdling over the stairs, launching at Alexis. It wrapped it's leg around her waist, struggling to forcefully remove the wand from her grip. Alexis had a hard time defending herself with only one hand that was trying to keep ahold of her weapon. Lily could recognize the leather jacket and signature black hair anywhere.

"Sirius." Lily breathed in relief, putting a hand on the wall to balance herself.

"What they hell, Lily!" Sirius shouted at her, "I told you to wait for me!"

"It's about time you got here Padfoot." James slurred from the floor, letting his hand skim across the floor as he was looking for his lost wand.

Lily glared at James but she couldn't hide the look of relief on her face. She had thought for a moment James would be in trouble. Alexis was snarling, trying to get Sirius off her back. Sirius was furious, yanking on her hair, trying to pull her away from James. Lily had her wand pointed in their direction but she couldn't get a clear shot of Alexis without worrying about Sirius.

" _fils de pute!_ " Alexis snarled, flipping her wand around at Sirius.

"Well, that's rude." Sirius had barley lifted his wand an inch and Alexis was thrown back into the bannister that led downstairs.

Lily yearned for his complete control and ease in dueling; she'd always been flamboyant and quick…much like James. Alexis pushed back up from the floor with her one hand, eyes flashing. She whipped her wand and Sirius shouted in surprise at her quick attack, crashing to the floor as his muscles convulsed.

"No!" Lily shouted, jumping forward again and Alexis shifted her attention from Sirius on the floor to Lily.

James took advantage of Alexis' shift in attention and began crawling towards his wand. Lily knew they'd win if all three of them could go at her at once. James just needed his wand…

Lily sent a stinging hex and it hit Alexis but she blinked it off. The spell wasn't strong enough for a woman who'd been through the pain of getting spliched. Alexis spotted James crawling for his wand and she kicked at it, making it roll it down the stairs. Lily watched with alarmed eyes as it clattered away from eyesight. James tried to stumble after it but Alexis kicked him in the face and his nose broke, sending blood splattering across his robes.

Anger coursed through Lily, " _Ne le touche pas_!" she waved her wand and Alexis yelped in surprise as hot, bursting boils erupted all over her skim from Lily's hex.

Alexis' eyes were burning with passion as she finally sent a green curse flying in Lily's direction. James screamed her name and Lily threw herself up against the wall, narrowly missing the deadly spell. Lily had to end the duel, and quickly, Alexis craved to kill. Lily watched with paranoid eyes as James crawled towards the stairs where his wand had fallen down. Alexis slowly turned, aiming her wand at his retreating back.

Lily needed to get the witch away from her wand and she had to do it fast.

" _Expelliarmus_!" Sirius shouted, seeming to have the same idea as Lily but Alexis just shot up a shield charm to block him.

" _Levicorpus_!" Lily screeched and luckily, Alexis had been so focused on James and Sirius that she was flipped upside down from her ankle by Lily's perfectly aimed spell.

Alexis fought against her ankle bind but her wand had fallen and clattered towards James. James quickly grabbed it and pointed it at Alexis hastily amidst Alexis' shrieking.

"You'll all regret this!" She was screaming in French, "Your fighting a losing battle. The Dark Lord will raise!"

"Shut her up," Sirius solicited and Lily approved.

James flipped his wand up and Alexis' head was snapped back quickly. James had knocked her out. Lily, Sirius, and James sat in the quiet, hearing only the sound of breathing, as they comprehended what had happened. James pointed Alexis' wand at the stairs.

" _Accio_ , wand." James reached up to grab his own wand, which had come flying towards him thanks to the summoning charm.

Sirius glared at Lily from where he'd been dueling Alexis. He was panting and looked like he'd run eighty kilometers in five seconds.

"You were gonna beat her with _levicorpus_?" He asked doubtfully.

"It worked, didn't it?" Lily exhaled, leaning against the wall and staring past Alexis' hanging body to see James pushing himself up off the floor tendering touching his broken nose.

"Don't knock _levicorpus_ , mate." James moaned as he quickly fixed his nose with a wave of his wand.

"It's a staple spell." Lily reminded the pair.

Silence only lasted for a moment as all three of them remembered fondly the ferry ride to England. They all laughed as they were reminded of Sirius teaching Lis how to brandish a wand. Lily couldn't handle being away from them much longer. She raced forward and she threw her arms around James, burying her face into his neck. She reached out for Sirius and dragged him into the hug as well.

"I love you. Both of you." She crooned, keeping her grip around James tight.

"Lily! James! Sirius!" A voice called franticly from downstairs.

Lily looked up from her hug in confusion. Sirius broke away and looked down the staircase, trying to see who was there.

"That'll be the back up."

"Always running late." James said briskly.

"Maybe we're always early." Sirius counteracted as James finally let go of Lily to try and rub some of the blood from his face, off her forehead where he'd kissed her.

Remus Lupin appeared on the landing closest to them, looking positively relieved. He ran the rest of the way up to hug James and Sirius. He finished his rounds with Lily, pulling her into a bear hug.

"Peter?" James asked before anyone else could even think of the double crosser.

"Peter's in hiding—he either didn't want to be found or was found by someone else before us." Remus explained, "I went to all his old spots. He didn't leave a trace."

"Coward." Sirius barked, placing a hand on Lily's shoulder protectively when she finally pulled away from Remus.

Marlene McKinnon was there, as well as the Longbottom Aurors who arrested Alexis under the jurisdiction that she was carrying around fake papers and an illegal bag of fire crab eggs. Alice Longbottom assured Lily that Alexis' trail for the Ministry would give her a one-way ticket to Azkaban (if Alice had anything to do with it).

"I'd love to get her on aiding in the snatchers trade." Alice said moodily as Alexis was carted away from everyone, "But unfortunately snatching muggleborns isn't exactly illegal."

"I'd love to get her on more than that." James mumbled back quiet angrily, wrapping a protective arm around Lily, "But I'll settle for six months in Azkaban for illegal Magical Creature trade."

"Maybe a dementor will do us all a favor and suck out her soul." Remus said sardonically.

"I don't think she has a soul for the dementors to suck out, to be honest." James said with arm arm slug around Lily as they awaited the final okay from Frank Longbottom to apparate back to headquarters.

Lily couldn't believe it. They'd trapped Alexis, gotten her memories back, and yet it still felt like a darkness was looming over all of them. James offered to take Lily back to his parents, at least until Dumbledore could see them both.

Lily was hand in hand with James on the doorstep of his parent's house in England. She stood in the lamplight staring up at him, memorizing every line of his face that she'd forgotten. He was watching her too, letting his fingers traced along her jaw and his eyes never quite moved from her face.

"You came back for me." He whispered, "I thought you wanted to stay with-"

"The order?" Lily finished with a half a smile, "I thought you would stay too."

"I couldn't." James whispered.

"Why?"

Lily felt her heart skip a beat when he put his index finger under her chin to lift her head towards him, "Because," he leaned closer to her, "I didn't want to disappoint you."

"Why?"

"I love you."

Tears threatened to fall but before James could kiss her properly the Potter's front door flew open and an old frail woman wearing thick red robes cried Lily's name. Lily tore her head away from James' shouldering gaze and cried happily.

"Mia!" Lily fell into the arms of James' mother and soon his father appeared with the help of a walking cane.

Lily was welcomed back into their life with hugs and kisses. They celebrated with cake made by the house elves and a dinner so great that when Sirius stopped by to check on Lily he took several plates home to Remus. When the healer's stopped by to give the Potter's their dragon pox medication James and Lily slipped away again, towards the common area.

Lily buried her toes into the thick rug and smiled up at James, happy to be in his arms again. He leaned down quickly to kiss her, before picking her up and twirling her around. Lily felt a bubble of laughter escape her throat and she wrapped her arm around his neck as they twirled like teenagers stuck in a daydream. She was back to where she belonged, alongside James and his parents.

That night with the Potter family, wrapped in James' loving arms, Lily finally felt like she was home.

* * *

 **Thank you for sticking through this story with me! I love all of you. If you could please leave me a review that would MAKE my christmas. Even just one word telling me how you felt about this little story I've been writing.**

 **Happy Holidays my friends...and I'll see you next year with some new stories.**

 **xxx**

 **Petals**


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